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Gone on. Be Honest. Did your boss prefer your maternity cover to you??

(16 Posts)
Damhsa Mon 14-Sep-09 21:39:37

So it is my second week back at work and settling in is much more difficult that I had anticipated. All I've have heard since coming back is my boss saying how 'fantastic' and 'amazing' my maternity cover was and how she tried 'everything' to hold onto her. It does ping a little as the only way my cover could have stayed is if I did not return!!. She has said this on several occassions in meetings with my peers and seniors. Whilst I am truly happy my cover did a good job during my time away, I'm beginning to think that all this flag waving may cast me in a bad light. Before I went on maternity leave, my appraisals and feedback were extremely positive so logically I should not have any concerns about my performance and capability.

My self confidence has taken a knock. Has anyone had situation where their boss preferred the maternity cover??
I need some perspective or advice on how to re-establish myself.

gallery Mon 14-Sep-09 21:48:04

no- sorry, did not happen that way to me as my company so large, I left jobs to go back to new ones (they could guarantee similar work but not role and that suited me too). I think it sounds harsh and very insensitive so if it was me, I probably would have exploded by now. Perhaps some calmer people will come along with tactics to help

TheFallenMadonna Mon 14-Sep-09 21:55:09

I was a maternity leave cover last year, and am now working permanently in the same place. They were very, very pleased to have the person I was replacing back in school (she is fab), and very happy to keep me on too. Perhaps they offered her another position and they turned her down?

TheFallenMadonna Mon 14-Sep-09 21:55:29

She turned them down I meant...

PinkyRed Mon 14-Sep-09 22:15:06

This happened to me! Well, during a handover day, when my maternity cover and I were both in the office together, my boss' boss said to her how much he'd enjoyed working with her, and how he wished she was staying on, while I just sat there, smiling politely.

It was really difficult for me, but I think mainly because my confidence was a bit shaky coming back. After a while I felt more at home again, and it didn't bother me. Just ignore it - once you get back into work, and you start proving yourself again, you'll forget all about it.

sandl Sat 19-Sep-09 16:15:57

My maternity leave cover is the bane of my life as she was kept on and is totally my boss's pet. I can't stand her and find it hard not to feel quite back stabbed about the whole thing!

Am paranoid, obviously. Then again, I'm a sleep-deprived new mum, so what do you expect? smile

elvislives Sat 19-Sep-09 16:35:43

My maternity cover was kept on too. Then someone else transferred to our office (just before I came back) for personal reasons and was given my desk. Basically I was just bumped off downstairs to a boring repetitive job while the pair of them took my job. They both then got temporary promotion..

Before I went on ML I was always really well thought of and got lots of interesting work and positive appraisals. I wasn't even told about the temp promotions because I "wasn't considered suitable" for promotion, even though I had been the year before. What made it even worse was that I was FT and they were both PT.

(I have now transferred to a new department)

elvislives Sat 19-Sep-09 16:36:30

Sorry that wasn't either positive or helpful was it blush

ChilloHippi Sat 19-Sep-09 16:48:08

Yes they bloody did prefer my maternity cover! angry I'm a teacher. When I returned to work I wasn't given my classes back, I wasn't given my classroom back. I was expected to do a lot of cover and I was fuming. I did speak to my union about it. I applied for a Head of Dept position, but so did my cover as she got it. Needless to say I left at the end of the school year. The rest of the staff were furious on my behalf and it was very awkward for the lady concerned as she was nice.

AnotherBloodySugaBabe Thu 24-Sep-09 12:16:37

My lovely supportive boss got another job while I was on maternity leave and was replaced with a horrible bastard who hated women daring to take a whole 6 months off to reproduce (the bloody cheek of them! grin). He bloody love, however, my young, single, attractive replacement. My return to work was a nightmare. Boss sabotaged me pretty much every day, my replacement (who was demoted when I returned) hated my guts. Oh, happy days.

I left 3 months after my return.

PuppyMonkey Thu 24-Sep-09 12:26:54

I didn't really have a proper maternity cover as I work in a place where the jobs can just be shared out with whoever's in at the time (local newspaper).

Trying to see it in a positive light, maybe your boss isn't getting at you at all. She just takes it for granted that you are utterly fabulous as usual. But at the same time, she is miffed because she found another person who was good and couldn't keep her on in some form at the company. Bit thoughtless to keep going on about it, but you just keep your head down and they will have forgotten about her in a fortnight.

angevee Thu 22-Oct-09 21:32:13

My cover for my second pregnancy was kept on and he has just agreed to be dd2's godfather, so good things can come out of them staying on!
However cover for my third pregnancy has managed to remove half of my team and alienate the other half joy!

FifiForgot Mon 26-Oct-09 14:44:29

Sadly my boss also preferred my maternity cover. When I returned to work, she kept saying what a good job she had done, how everyone loved her, etc, etc. I felt awful and hated being back at work (still do!) made all the worse by the fact that my flexible working request was rejected on very dodgy ground.

Eventually after a year, I was forced (through illness) to reduce my hours (by 1 day a week to 4 days) and as "punishment" I was demonted and my boss actively tried to encourage my maternity cover (at another establishment) to apply for the more senior job. Thankfully she didn't otherwise I would have walked out. Am off on maternity leave again in 3 weeks and I have yet to meet my cover this time. I have all my fingers crossed for a lottery win before I have to come back again.

Oblomov Mon 26-Oct-09 15:26:57

Yes. She has now been offered a perm contract and sits next to me !!!

probably and so do i!
Think he's better at the job than me (this is serious, not self putting down - I've worked with him for years) and if I can get another job then i will and hope he applies to replace me!

Oblomov Mon 26-Oct-09 15:38:15

Fifi, same happened to me, refused on dubious grounds. only asking for it to be reduced by 1/2 a day. Had been looking forward to going back all year. Then that soured it. And my boss lied.
Then on day 2, my cover made an complaint about me - somethingI 'd said to a colleague as a joke, plus he noise increas on my return.
I am now answerable to her and she delegated me work.

But re OP, what can you do ? I don't think there is anythign I can do.
But there might be something you can do.
Not sure on the HR front, you ned advice from Flowerybenabag or someone.
But can you not just have a word. Tell him its not o.k., especailly not to peers,and tell him if it happens again, you will make a formal complaint.
Then just keep your head down and let your work do the talking.

Check that advice, before you act, but thats what I would do.

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