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I need to make a decision this week - help!

(10 Posts)
Greatfun Tue 08-Sep-09 12:34:36

I am due to go back to work in about a month after 2 years off. The job is 3 days a week and in a professional role I was doing before having the DCs. I feel completely torn as to whether I should go back to safeguard a p/t fairly flexible job even though for the next 3 years (until my yougest starts school) it will mean taking home little more than £300 per month home after childcare etc. On one hand I find being at home all the time a mix of great to boring and lonely so the social side of working appeals. But I can't help but think its going to be a huge amount of effort for little financial gain (my commute is 1.5 hours each way) for a job I don't enjoy that much. My yougest is very clingy and under 2 and it just doesnt feel the right time to leave him but then again when is. My main concern is if I leave now for 3 more years I have no idea what else would I do. Sorry this has turned into a rant but I think you get the gist. WWYD?

PrincessToadstool Tue 08-Sep-09 12:42:35

Can you manage without the money?

I found maternity leave a struggle to be honest and was glad to go back to work. I have no bias on what I think anyone should do as a year after going back to work I have left. Being at home is harder, lonelier, more tiring, thankless, repetitive and ultimately a bit dull. But for me it is far more rewarding than my job was. I don't want to regret being in a job I hated just for a few quid each month.

I would feel very differently if I had a job I loved, I'm sure! I looked for 9 of the 12 months that I worked for something else. I was getting more and more miserable. So is it about the job, or the children - for you?

LevitatingCopy Tue 08-Sep-09 12:45:42

The 1.5 hour commute would be the deal-breaker for me, it's hard to combine childcare with long commutes unless you have someone else who can reliably pick them up if they are ill etc.

Is there any chance of finding something nearer home, even if you might have to look around for a few months? Or anything you could do from home?

Greatfun Tue 08-Sep-09 12:54:14

Thanks so much for replying so swiftly. We can live without the money but our finances are somewhat precarious in that at the moment the mortgage is very low due to the interest rates being so low but when (rather than if) this changes we will find things a struggle. We have some savings we could fall back on if necessary. There won't be any holidays or new cars but not sure the extra £300 woudl ahve helped much with that anyway. Why is this so darn difficult?
Princess - ditto your description about being at home. I have felt all of those things and some. Unfortunetely my job is very specialised so there are no firms near by I could go to and working at home is not an option. I really need to use this time to change careers but not sure how or what in.

Roomfor2 Tue 08-Sep-09 13:00:32

A 1.5 hour commute, a job you don't particularly like and only for £300 a month? I would forget it for now. There is always something else you can do later on. You could retrain in the meantime, do a part-time evening course or something to give yourself something else to do, and then look for a whole new job/career in a couple of years when the DCs are older and yo are ready for it.

There isn't just one job out there for you to do. There's a whole host of opportunities, so if you don't need the £300, put it on hold for a bit and take the opportunity be with your DCs and work out what kind of job would make you happy.

Remember - once they go to school, you have years of working life ahead of you before you retire - if you take time now to think about it, you could spend that time doing something that makes you happy, without the added worry of paying for childcare, instead of stuck in a job you don't like and wasting hours every day commuting.

Greatfun Tue 08-Sep-09 13:00:56

Princess- Its about both for me. I like some aspects of the job but not that much and I feel sick at leaving my DCs especially the little one who won't understand why I have gone. sad

I worked after DD was born and know they adjust but I have had so long off this time its even harder to go back.

The commute is rubbish but may get better next year if we move nearer to work as we plan which will reduce the comute to an hour.

Greatfun Tue 08-Sep-09 13:07:54

Roomfor2 - I know you are right. I just keep being told how lucky I am to have this job as it pays enough to cover childcare for 2 (just) and is fairly flexible.

Roomfor2 Tue 08-Sep-09 13:16:36

Greatfun - the trouble is you're probably being told that by people who don't know that it makes you miserable. If you look into a new career that you can start when your DCs are both at school, you won't have to pay for childcare, so that won't be an issue.

You might be able to do something working at home, or working for yourself, so that would be even more flexible and no ridiculous commute. How much is your commute going to cost? Does that have to come out of the £300?

I guess you have to follow you heart and your post sounds like you think it is a bad idea.

I had the same dilema a while ago, as I worked for a type of company of which there are no others in my area, so leaving meant no option to take a similar job at a later date. Instead I started up working for myself. Wasn't easy, but the payoffs are huge because I manage my own time and work from home, and in school holidays (when the time comes) I will be around and be flexible with my hours.

If you don't need the money, I would seriously take the opportunity to forge a new career that makes you happy.

Speckledeggy Tue 08-Sep-09 18:41:11

Totally agree with Roomfor2 - excellent advice!

You don't sound confident about this job so I would forget it too. Something else will come up that will be far more suitable (either now or later on a bit).

shouldbeironing Tue 08-Sep-09 18:58:03

Well I think you should give work a try actually. It might not be as bad as you think - you sound like you might be lacking confidence to get back into it after so much mummy time - but leaving it any longer will be even harder and you might lose the opportunity altogether.
Give it six months and if it doesnt work out you will know you tried. And you will be able to claim back lots of tax as well since you will have only worked part of the year. If it does work out - then there's your answer. It is only 3 days, so you are still seeing your DC for a fair amount of time each week.

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