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Childcare and worrying(17 Posts)
I'm a worrier by nature and like to plan things throughly and I'm feeling really stressed at the moment so thought I'd ask how other people cope?
I'm 17 weeks pregnant and already worrying about childcare when I return to work.
I've found 2 nurseries locally which have been recommended and both open 8-6. However I live at least an hours drive away from work (dependent on traffic) so I'm worrying about dropoffs/pickups already. My DH doesn't have a car and both are 2.5 miles away from were we live so I don't think walking would work. I'm not sure if work will let me adjust my hours to p/t (though I imagine they will for cost savings at the moment) and if I could work without a lunch to condense my hours.
I know really I'm being daft but I feel like crying. I found another nurserie open longer hours but a bit further way and then DH said he didn't like the town its in and went very snobbish about it. But he hasn't volunteered any practical solutions for this.
Childminder? - I didn't consider that for mine, but when I heard about others' experiences later I wish I had.
What hours do you work? Are you going back full time? Will you have flexible hours? Does your husband have any flexibility in his working week? Drop off and pick ups are always the tricky bit of juggling kids and work, I find.
A childminder who lives close to you - or a nanny if you can afford it - might be better for you.
Thanks for the replies.
I'm thinking of going back 3 days a week and I'm fairly sure work would agree (especially as they've just let someone (male) who's 60 just go p/t). I can normally pick and chose my hours and usually do 8-4 as the m-way is a lot clearer earlier but that can be changed to later if necessary.
I hadn't thought about a childminder - do they tend to be more flexible? I doubt we'll be able to afford a nanny - SIL has one down in London and she and her DH earn a lot more then we do.
DH has been trying to reassure me as has DMIL who says she might be able to help as she lives about 6 miles away. They've both been saying I shouldn't worry about things this early.
Childminders probably vary in how flexible they can be - some will be, some may not. An earlier start than 8 am is definitely something some do (I've had a look on the website for round me and there are several who start at 7 am), though I am not sure about later than 6 pm, as a norm - though if you can start early you won't be worrying about late finishes, am I right? But it must be worth you having a look - the website - here - gives you lots of info.
Your dh could cycle with baby in a seat or trailer. That would take about 20 minutes or so and be really good for him as well
Is it feasible for dh to learn to drive, or is it only that he doesn't currently have access to a car, bearing in mind you are probably a year or so away from actually doing this ? You maybe able to cut lunch to half an hour but your employer cannot legally let you do without. Otherwise would you consider a childminder who may be more local and flexible.
Hi - Thanks for these ideas.
Bink yes thats right if I start early then I can finish early as well. Thanks for the website I'll have a look at that.
Lol I hadn't thought of a bike - DH might be slightly reluctant about doing that in winter but its defintely an idea. DH can drive (he only learned 2 years ago) but doesn't have access to car. Working the finances out it would seem to be difficult to buy another one especially at the moment.
Had you thought about getting childcare close to work rather than home.
Something to consider when going to work so far away - what if baby is ill and you need to collect : how harrowing will an hours drive be when you know baby is unwell and needs you - or (god forbid - an accident and you are needed)
Just another idea thrown into the possible solutions.
CCJD makes a good point - It sounds as though you will be the one doing all the pick ups/drop offs so somewhere close to work/on the way to work might make more sense?
Also, if you decide to breastfeed & and are still feeding once your baby goes to nursery you'd be able to pop in at lunchtime for a quick feed if nursery were closer to work. My neighbour took this approach and it worked out very well for her.
I'll have to have a look round near where I work as well. Anybody got any recommendations near York?
DH was keen on having baby go to nursery round here so it (now nicknamed bump) has friends when it goes to school but he's not going to be doing the work I think .
Hi Lkey have you thought about having a nanny who could look after your litle one and then your new baby. then they would be in ther home enviroment and be in your house for you when you get home from work. were about are you I am in Allerton Liverpool.
If you are in Merseyside and are interested in having a nanny and you would like more details please get in touch via mumsnet or 07856891511 hope to hear from you soon I am fully registered.
I know several people in this position and they chose nurseries very near to their work. The only drawback is that dc tends to fall aspleep coming home in the car and that can be a problem at bedtime.
I chose one near to home because I worked mainly from home.
HOPE you are well I am a nanny I am qualified and registered I live in Allerton Liverpool. I have over ten years experience as a nanny looking after babies from newborn twins triplets and quads also premature babies if you are interested please get in touch via mumsnet or netmums or mob- 07856891511 looking forward to hearing from you ps I am a non smoker.
I wouldn't consider child minders when my son was born and put my 7 month old son into a Nursery. I left him in tears most mornings and sat in my work carpark in tears myself. I found the return to work really hard because of this. The one thing Nurseries give you lots of is paperwork - I anaysed that my happy baby was only happy 40% of the time according to them. As soon as I started chatting to child minders I realised the mistake I made. Took him out of nursery and started him with Childminder. He settled immeadiately and the home environment was so much better for him. Please check out Child Minders in your area as well as Nurseries. Returning to work is hard enough and you need your child care to work for you. Good luck.
I moved my DS from a nursery to a CM a year ago and it's made my life lots less stressful. She lives round the corner so it's really easy to pick up and drop off (nursery was just over a mile's walk) and although theoretically they are the same hours (8-6), if I get stuck in traffic, I call my CM and she is always totally cool about me being 5 mins late on the odd occasion.
I also work through my lunchbreaks and try and leave just before 5 so I can get back in time.
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