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Additional Maternity Leave - Moral Dilemma help!

(13 Posts)
Stardust123 Sun 22-May-05 22:05:13

Employers expecting me back at work end of June after taking 6 mnths mat. leave. Am intending to resign and work with my aunt helping her to run her business, have been doing this for the past few mnths and enjoy it. Pretty sure that this is the right move as it's less hours and very flexible but to avoid shooting myself in the foot, I was going to request my additional maternity leave from my employer (which will run to December) and carry on doing other job just to make sure I am happy. My main job is very well paid and the job I am intending to take is not so much but that's ok. Then I can resign from my main job say in Sept. giving a month's notice which may also entitle me to company bonus which is payable around August time. Probably won't ge this if I resign now! Feel a bit guilty doing this as other people are stressed out covering for me at work and my employers are sure I am going back. Everyone is telling me to look after no. 1 but I do feel a bit guilty even though it is my legal right to take AML. Advice please? Thanks!

WideWebWitch Sun 22-May-05 22:06:14

Oh go for it! I wouldn't hesitate in your shoes. Absolutely wouldn't.

Frizbe Sun 22-May-05 22:07:45

No definatley go for it, I didn't and bloody wish I had now! (just to buy myself another 6mths as it were!)

Stardust123 Sun 22-May-05 22:09:01

Thanks wickedwaterwitch - presume you mean I should think 'to hell with them' and say I'm taking AML?! Feel guilty as hell, been good employers really, been there yonks.

WideWebWitch Sun 22-May-05 22:17:37

Yes, I do. If you've been there yonks I bet you've done a good job and they've been/are happy. If you deserve the bonus if you're there in August and you need to be there in Aug since you won't be sure about this other job, then there's no dilemma imo.

darlingbud Sun 22-May-05 22:32:00

Go for it.

Stardust123 Sun 22-May-05 22:46:56

Thanks for advice everyone, have to go and see boss soon so will get my story sorted out (need to stay at home with kids, blah blah) although really if I stayed at home all week, I would go bananas. Hope they don't sus me out!
First time have joined discussions and I think I will sleep easier tonight. Any more comments would be wonderful thanks, like has anyone else felt this guilt or is it just me being a softie?

Stardust123 Sun 22-May-05 22:56:42

Just reading Frizbe's reply and am wondering what happened to you with AML - let me know.
.
Encouraged by replies but still feeling like a horrible pig (what a wimp!) especially as person stressed out doing my job has been a friend - he will probably go ape and kill me when I tell him I am taking more mat. leave. Aaargh! Obviously he will think I am returning to work and in 3 mnths I have to tell hime actually I'm not. Feel vile.

Prufrock Mon 23-May-05 14:01:30

Stardust - I would definately say to take AML. I did (although I told them from the beginning I would be taking a year) even though I had no intention of returning.

I do know what you mean though - in fact I started a thread on it myself here -that blows that alias!

I felt guilty for 2 reasons - personal, my boss was, I thought, a friend - though he hasn't called me since I resigned so I guess not. I also felt that in some way I was letting down other women by conforming to the stereotype of women extracting as much as they can and buggering companies about when the go on maternity leave. But the more I thought about it the more I realised that I don't have to be fair when the whole working culture in this country is stacked against female parents.

beansprout Mon 23-May-05 14:04:10

I'm the sort of person who feels guilty if I take sick leave but I still say go for it. It's not like you are going to make a habit of it or anything! Remind yourself that you are doing this for your baby as well as you!! Best of luck.

Stardust123 Tue 24-May-05 17:45:40

Thanks for advice, have told boss I'm taking AML and it wasn't as bad as I thought - probably be a nervous wreck when I resign - oh well, what's the worst that can happen - they could fire me!!

compo Tue 24-May-05 18:17:37

if you don't go back though will you have to pay any additional maternity leave money you got if your job paid them? I would have in my current job if I hadn't gone back as i received slightly more than SMP

Stardust123 Tue 24-May-05 23:45:32

Compo- yes I have thought about this one, but to be honest if I get my bonus, this will more than cover this, so I'm not too worried.

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