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WWYD re: return to work?(11 Posts)
This has probbaly been done a thousand times but I need your advice. I have 2 DCS who in Spetember will be 4 and 18 months. I have a PT job to return to for 2 days a weeka dna childminder lined up. We have debts and a large mortgage but we coudl just about get by on DHs salary. My money would make life more comfortable, not hugely but would put us ina more secure position. So my head says go back.
However, my heart says stay. I am worried sick about the DCS settling into the CMs, particularly the younger one who has never been left. I would like at least another 18 months off as DD starts reception in 2010 and by then DS will be able to understand more. I know it would be a struggle for us financially. I don't like my job although I appreciate I am lucky to have a PT job that pays so well. A career break is not an option and there is no guarentee I would be able to get back into that job if I had so long off.
Do I follow my head or my heart?
It could be mostly nerves saying 'dont go back'
I'd give it a go. Say to yourself that you'll do 3 months and then re-assess. if your children are not settled then or you are hating working, then you can hand in your notice.
Then at least you'll know you tried both ways and made the right choice!
TBH for the sake of 2 days a week I'd say go for it & as fucksticks says, give it a good go and then reassess.
My DS went to a CM 2 days a week from 1 and it was the best thing I could have done not only to ease our financial burden but also because I was amazed at how quickly he settled (far far easier than starting nursery at 3 let me tell you!) and how well he bonded with both the CM and the other children she cares for.
2 days a week and well paid. stay- you will kick yourself hard if you give that up. one thing you can be certain of- if you look for such a job in 18 months you will be hard pushed to find it!
Agree with risingstar. There seems a lot more to be gained from keeping the job than jacking it in. It's a shame you don't enjoy your work, and it may be absolutely the right thing to look around and try to find something more fulfilling, but in the meantime stick with what you have. You could really regret it if in 18 months time you're desperate for work and can't find a way back in.
Do you want to work? 2 days a week is not a lot and your DC will adjust and after settling in I am sure they will get a lot out of a childcare setting. I worried about going back but my DS was younger than 18 months, but now I am doing it I need it. I don't even like my job, am desperately seeking something else, but the break from just being a mother, bit of extra money, chance to use my brain a bit more, is all well worth it for me.
In this sort of economy i'd take the 2 days and be laughing. You are so lucky not to be forced to go full time. 18mths is a great age to start letting a child have some independence away from you and a childminder is the next best thing. Start focussing on the positives, you're in a win-win situation here.
I work 2 days a week and my DDs go to a child minder. They are 4 and 2 and they love going, they even ask to go on days when I am not working
I say definitely give it a try. I was in exactly your position 6 years ago, and nearly didn't go back but:
- At times, it was having that escape that kept me sane.
-I had a social life of sorts that didn't involve kids.
-As it's only 2 days, the children enjoyed the change of environment on the days I wasn't around.
-I have just been offered a great promotion, 5 days a week with great flexibility to fit in with school hours and hols. There is no way I would have got it if I hadn't "kept my hand in"
-Friends who gave give up completely while DCs were small are finding it very difficult to get even minimum wage jobs to fit in with schools. Keeping up the contacts and knowledge will be invaluable when you decide you want to do more outside the home again - which you will even if you think you'd like to be a SAHM for ever now.
-There is a certain amount of security in having 2 incomes. I always felt that if all went wrong with DH's job, I could increase my hours to see us through.
I just wanted to thank you all for your advice. I have decided to give it a go and return. I am in quite a specialised area and I doubt I would find it easy to leave this area of work and find something with the same hours and money. I have decided to stop feeling guilty about the whole thing and instead plan the week in Devon and the decoarting in the house that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to do.
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