am meant to go back to work, but dont how im going to be able to...(6 Posts)
I am on ml, dd1 is 2mo. Before I went on ml, I had a job that i liked, was on the way to progression and worked with a team of people that I (still) adore. It is local to me, but....the hours are not child friendly. 8 a.m - 7 p.m. (on a VERY good day) and working 6 days out of any 7, including weekends, DEFINATELY saturdays and Sundays as "obligatory" overtime.
My dilema. FWAs have been turned down in the past due to needs of the business, childcare is hideously expensive and then on top of that I will need to find childcare for the weekends too. On top of all that, even though it was fun, it was stressful and demanding. I have no family/friends that I can get to look after my dd and I am a single mum!!
Can I honestly think of going back to my old job or should i think of looking for a new job now?
Any other advice, greatfully recieved.
Honestly, I think it will be very difficult. If you can afford to have a nanny, then you can probably cover the weekday hours. However, nannies have lives too and only work five days typically although you might find someone who would do Saturdays as well. If working weekends is a regular feature of your working life, then you actually need two nannies (and probably premium rates for weekend working!).
Apart from the practical difficulties, can you envisage going back to work at this job? How will you cope with barely seeing your daughter, even at weekends? Will you have the energy to work what seems to be almost a 70 hour week and look after your daughter as well?
Presumably a job which is 11 hours a day (on a good day!) at least 6 days a week pays very well. In which case, follow annh's suggestion and employ a nanny, because realistically you won't find other childcare for those hours.
If it doesn't pay well - then find another job with more conventional 9 to 5 hours, which will open up your childcare options.
Of course going back to work is perfectly do-able - millions of us do it, without family or friends to rely on! You describe yourself as a single mum, but your dd has a father, even if you aren't together. The childcare is a joint responsibility financially so he should contribute.
So, yes, you may want to change your job, but going back to work is perfectly do-able. These days you get a minimum 6 months paid ML anyway, so you've got ages left before it becomes a reality.
To be brutally honest - I can't see how you'd be happy working such long hours as a single parent with a very young child. I would still put in a flexible working request, though, and see what happens. If they turn it down, start thinking of alternatives.
Kingbeat - I went back to work in February. Due to workload, I worked 13 hour days, 6 days a week for the the first 6 weeks back and it was hell. I didn't see my baby for days on end. I do not advocate doing this! Even if you are very highly paid to make up for this (I wasn't) I don't think it would be worth it.
My job has settled down now and it's more manageable but, in your position, I'd put in a flexible working request (worth a shot) and when that gets turned down I'd start considering other options.
Thank you all so much for your feedback....went in to see my boss on the saturday to see what his take on it was. he advised me to apply for the fwa anyway, but was sceptical if id get it or not..(his wife used to be my boss before i worked for him, and her reuqest got turned down, she left and is now suing company!!)...but your advise is valuable and taken well on board.
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