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should i go back to work tomorrow? should i put the kids in nursery on friday?

(27 Posts)
bossykate Wed 06-Apr-05 11:47:12

hello everyone

i've had quite a nasty dose of flu this week. it started on sunday, was v. bad on monday, somewhat recovered yesterday, a bit tired and under par today, but definitely on the mend now (fingers crossed). went to see gp yesterday and she said there was a lot of it about and that i should take the rest of the week off, rest, fluids, paracetamol etc.

dh and my mother are very strongly of the opinion that not only should i not go back to work this week, but should also put the kids into nursery on friday (they would normally be at home with me on fridays) in order for me to make a complete recovered. dh gets exasperated with me, he says, because i rush around trying to do everything at the first sign of recovery instead of getting properly better.

a bit of background. this would have been my seventh week back to work since finishing maternity leave. in that time i was off sick with d&v in the first week and have had some small virus or other pretty much every week, but have not taken any time off until monday this week. i am still employed, but don't actually have a real job atm - have been living with threat of redundancy for about 4m now and the stress is starting to get to me - not to mention that this is probably not the best time to be going off sick.

my mother says i'm getting constantly ill because of the stress, but i figure with 2 kids in nursery, bugs coming home are just a fact of life and whether i fully convalesce from this one or not, there will soon be another one along.

so assuming the getting better trend continues should i

(1) take off work tomorrow as well?

and/or

(2) send the kids to nursery on friday?

doing these would be in aid of getting a full recovery/convalescence.

grateful for any advice. thanks in advance

bundle Wed 06-Apr-05 11:51:20

take as much time off (work and the kids!) as you need, you sound a bit run down..

TracyK Wed 06-Apr-05 11:53:40

I'd take the time off - put the kids in nursery and have a relaxing time and recouperate.
If you are facing redundancy - then taking time off sick won't influence them in any way. Plus whats the point of knocking your pan in for a company thats about to maybe make you redundant??

Blu Wed 06-Apr-05 12:02:53

Errm, I'm no help at all - what I would advise you to do, and what I would probably do if it was me are not the same thing - I'd be putting myself under pressure, just like you are.

If you sense the redundancy is pretty much inevitable, I'd take the time off. If you think it's in the balance, and you really are better - you know, actually better, then I'd go in. Then I might put the kif=ds in nursery in the moring on Fri and have a good lie in / sleep, then do something nice with them in the afternoon.

But that's me - indecisive and doing everything in half measures.

Pamina3 Wed 06-Apr-05 12:05:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puddle Wed 06-Apr-05 12:14:51

I have just had a long period of odd days off at work here and there due to various viruses. Thenb jst before Easter I have just had the worst flu (in fact, my first ever dose I think) that had me off work for 10 days in total, in bed for four. My GP signed me off saying I would never get properly better unless I took some time off work and rested. I'm back now and feel better than I have done since Xmas to be honest.

Given the redundancy aspect of your case I think I would try and get some medical ncertification. There may well be another bug along any minute but you are more likely to catch it badly if you haven't got over the one you have already. So I'd take your loved ones advice and also go back to the docs to get signed off for the whole of this week.

bossykate Wed 06-Apr-05 13:54:01

thank you very much everyone for these replies

actually, have been feeling steadily worse the last couple of hours so will make a quick lunch and then go and lie down.

pamina - that's great! have you tried the dress on yet?

puddle - gp says i can self certify the first week.

puddle Wed 06-Apr-05 13:58:39

You can self certify for the first week. But if you have had several bits of time off sick it might be worth going back and getting something from the doctors which confirms you are ill and shouldn't be at work.

Pamina3 Wed 06-Apr-05 14:03:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Prufrock Wed 06-Apr-05 16:21:51

Like Blu I will tell you one think but do something else myself. So take the time off, and definately put the kids in nursery on Friday.
I though redundancy might actually be a good thing for you? So beig off sick might not be a problem.
And don't be so sure it's the kids bringing things home from nursery. It's no co-incidence that sq was replaced with bk within days of you being back at work, and being stressed (which I agree is a completely normal state for a working mother of two and not something you can control) will affect your ability to fight off all the bugs that come around.

Blu Wed 06-Apr-05 17:42:06

Hmmm. On further reflection, I think definitely stay off.
You will do better on all fronts if you get proper rest and recuperation.

Otherwise struggle in for 10 mins, be sure to infect everyone else and then return like a heroine and save the company when they are all wilting and drooping, and demand not only full return to the peach projects of your choice but increased salary, perks and flexibility.

'Flu is spread by touch. Finger in mouth - or up nose a bit - and smear all phones and anything else they all touch.

tigermoth Wed 06-Apr-05 17:54:21

on balance, take the time off, especially if you are feeling worse since you last posted. If you are beginning to feel much better genuinely I'd go with Blu's first suggestion, unless redundancy is a definite.

BTW, I didn't realise redundancy was a possibility - hope it's something you are able to work into your plans. Definitely think having two young children and working is very, very stressful.

bossykate Wed 06-Apr-05 19:50:38

hi everyone

thanks for your messages. i have been feeling distinctly more rubbish as the day has gone on, so will not be going to work tomorrow.

as far as the possible redundancy goes - it is just that, a possibility, at the moment. my firm will be pretty generous, so on day 1 there will be no need to panic, but unfortunately i am not in a position at the moment to radically change our lives (although i have been thinking about a number of armageddon scenarios, e.g. no job after 6m) so will have to look (am already looking) for something similar.

there is (so far) no great pressure on me - i can either view that positively or think they are hoping i will resign, which would of course be much cheaper for them. anyway, that is a whole other thread!

blu - lol

prufrock - you made me a very kind offer re the job thing a while ago. i hope you don't mind if i take you up on it as soon as i am back to work.

still undecided about the kids on friday. i'm sure nursery thinks i'm the worst mother in the world anyway as dh does the drop off and the pick up every day. they always look so surprised to see me when i put in an appearance

tigermoth Wed 06-Apr-05 19:54:50

glad you've made the decision. Nurseries and playclubs used to see a lot of my dh too - I well remember the look of surprise when I turned up at pick up time.

Prufrock Wed 06-Apr-05 20:17:58

Of course not bk - but haven't you read the papers recently - my old employers may not be the most stable place to be over the next few months

bossykate Thu 07-Apr-05 08:31:47

i have caught up with the news. ooh my, trouble at t'top and no mistake. think i should follow up anyway - you never know. although i heard from someone else there is a hiring freeze on. thanks

WideWebWitch Thu 07-Apr-05 08:52:57

I hope you feel better soon bk and that if there is redundancy it comes with some cash to buy you some time.

Pamina3 Thu 07-Apr-05 09:11:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batters Thu 07-Apr-05 09:34:33

bk - sorry I missed this.

I hope you are at home today, I really do, and that the kids are in nursery.

I think the stress of redundancy / going back to work may be affecting your immune system. I would personally recommend taking echinechea (sorry spelling up the creek here) for a spell to boost your system.

Take care and speak to you soon.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

batters Thu 07-Apr-05 09:35:23

If your dh can't get the echinechea let me know and I'll drop some off tomorrow through your letter box.

xxxxxx

Marina Thu 07-Apr-05 09:37:15

Bk, I hope as I type this you are still off work but feeling better IYSWIM. Don't forget that, like babies picking bugs up from nursery when they start, you are extra prone to this sort of thing at this time and it will get better...dd and I have both had a better winter this time, last year was complete pants.
Your firm would be mad to lose you for good, here's hoping your dream package comes up from somewhere pretty soon. XXX

Marina Thu 07-Apr-05 09:38:31

(off-topic - Batters, how was your break? Did you have a wonderful time? )

ScummyMummy Thu 07-Apr-05 10:20:30

You must stay home alone today and tomorrow, bossykate. That is the path to getting fully better- work and children do not a recovery make. I also think that confident sick leave taking will in any case stand you in better stead at work- skulking in looking like death warmed up gives the impression that you're worried about your job and/or want to inflict your lurgy on your colleagues and bosses. Not good! Hope you feel loads better soon my darling.

bossykate Fri 08-Apr-05 08:34:51

thank you ladies for these messages. i am still feeling pretty crap and ds and dd have gone to nursery today

thanks for your kind words.

motherinferior Fri 08-Apr-05 08:48:15

Now go and curl up with a book!xxxxxxxxxx

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