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Encouragement needed...

(2 Posts)
ursula Mon 21-Mar-05 16:32:15

Hi, I just need a bit of encouragement, I think. I am a SAHM of 4 -2,6,9 and 11. I used to work in housing advice before my dd1 was born, then gave it up to study p/t (two evenings for 2 years then 1 day a week for 2 years) with the idea of qualifying as a solicitor - I passed the Legal Practice course in 2000. When I finished I couldn't get a training contract(you have to do one for 2 years to qualify) - they are hard to get and at the time my DH was working very long hours in a demanding job and I had 3 little kids - looking back I think it was all too much for me,I had got used to having lots of time with my children and I didn't really want to leave my youngest in childcare all day.I sort of gave up and then got pregnant in 2001, and found that I was having twins.Sadly,I lost them at 17 weeks of pregnancy. Although I had had mixed feelings about this pregnancy I then felt I really wanted another baby and went on to have my dd2 in November 2002.At the time my DH had a well paid job,but unfortunately was made redundant in May 2002, just after we had moved house and got a bigger mortgage. He didn't feel he could get another job at a similar salary so decided to work for himself - to cut a long story short in the last 3 years he has made a reasonable amount out of his business but not enough and we now desperately need more money coming in. With hind sight I should've encouraged him to get another job and to be realistic about money but I was still quite traumatised by my miscarriage and also very worried about my pregnancy - I didn't tell anyone until I was 20 weeks.I have now persuaded him to get a p/t job at the university doing IT support and do his business in the other half of the week, but I really feel now that I have to go and do something.My problem is that I did go back to work for a year from Sept 2003 and it didn't work out - I was stuck in an office and didn't have enough to do - I think really I was a bit overqualified for the job and wasn't even making much money because my DH was doing the childcare when I was working so that reduced what he earned. I have now got a pile of application forms to fill in in the legal advice sphere and am really worried about finding the motivation to do them - I will put my littlest in nursery if I do get a job so should make something even taking into account childcare. I feel a bit of a failure for not getting qualified (not helped by having a friend who started after me and now is!) and very worried that I'll get a job and hate it. I know really that I've got to do something myself about our predicament - I can't leave it to DH or to be blunt, we will never be better off. Sorry this is all so rambling. At the moment I just feel overwhelmed by it all - I keep worrying about my DD2 having to go into childcare for the first time(and biting all the other children!) and getting a job and it not working out again.Please encourage me to get going and fill in all these * forms

dropinthe Mon 21-Mar-05 16:40:21

Unless you care what your CV looks like,I'd say,what have you got to lose?-you can leave if you hate it.

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