I go back (part time) in 3 weeks and ds2 will be 9 months. We have had a lovely time and it's gone really quickly. At the moment I just keep holding him and wondering just how I am going to leave him with someone I don't really know (local CM). We co-sleep and use a sling a lot and it feels like a physical wrench.
The worst bit is not being able to explain it to him and just feeling he is going to find himself somewhere else... I'm starting to torment myself - help!
you'll be fine, honest. It'll be a wrench, you'll have some bad days but you'll also have some good days and as time goes on, you'll get more good days and you'll appreciate the time you spend with him SO much more!
Both of you. You like your job and you're good at it, and I bet you a fiver that within a week you're enjoying flexing those bits of Beansproutliness that have been put on hold for maternity leave. Seriously.
Thanks everyone. I keep telling myself that the CM will just be another adult in his life along with family, friends etc. And yes, I do like hot coffee and talking to grown ups but it's such a bloody wrench....
ah much sympathy it is hard, the separation, and I was surprised at how physical it was, like actual pain if you want my honest advice: try not to think about it concentrate on the time you spend together if it hurts, think "this is a transition" and remind yourself it will get better only talk about how hard it is with a very select group of people, people who can be relied upon to say completely arseholey things
It IS hard to start with. I remember all the other mothers at the creche the first day when I was sobbing uncontrollably. They just gave me a hug and told me that it DOES get easier. Going back to work is a shock but it so nice to be back in adult company after months at home with a small baby. You will be fine! As will Ds!
And yes, you're absolutely correct, the CM will be another adult in his life, not a replacement, or a substitute. From the moment they are born, our children are working their way towards becoming independent. Part of growing and living is forming relationships. It is all part of normal human experience. In years gone by, babies would have been passed around and looked after by all sorts of other people - the concept of the mother doing the parenting all the time would have been alien.
he will be fine, you will be fine.
Try to see it not as losing anything, because you're not, but keeping all the nice things about being a mummy PLUS having the bonus of a job you like AND more money. Win win!
I went back at 2 weeks and if you look at my 24/21/20 year olds you can't see any differences between them and those whose mothers stayed at home for 5 years (except I can afford to support them at university which does matter when they're that age!).
If it helps, my dd went to full time nursery at 7 months old. She is now 3.5 and seems absolutely fine. She enjoyed time with her friends and loved all the activities which I would not have had the time or patience for. We have a great relationship, she is very attached to me and i can't see any signs of emotional damage at the moment!
you may feel awful, and you've every right to feel sad about it, but you mustn't beat yourself up that your child will suffer because i don't think that is the case at all. In fact, I think you've got the ideal scenario; i would love to work part time as i think that is an excellent balance between providing necessary adult stimulation and still spending a lot of time with children while they are little.