Find the perfect family friendly job
back at work for two weeks and HATE IT!!(13 Posts)
I have not worked properly for two 1/2 years (evening work a bit) and was happy at home. I decided to return to work partly due to dh/financial pressure (but extras not essential)and because ds2 is going to be staring pre school anyway and seemed the right time. so got job three days a week i knew it was less money/resp and in different field then i'd worked before but it seemed ideal.
two weeks i hate it!! office is really nice, v friendly team etc but job is totally dull and desperately missing my boys/life as sahm.
also ds2 is tearful at nursery/clinging when home, house is a pit, washing everywhere and dh is doing cooking which is great but it beans with everything!!! why did i do this ???
the only bright light is its only temp till may but don't think i can last that long, not sure whether to jack it in and put ds2 in 4 preschool hours only. but d/h moaning re money!!
your views please
I'm in a similar position, but have to work for financial reasons (we couldnt pay the mortgage without my share)It sounds like your family could probably manage if you threw the job in? If I was you I'd set myself a deadline, say 6 months and if after working in the job for 6 months I still hated it, would leave. At least you could say you'd given it a go. 2 weeks is not that long and it will take time to adjust, things may drastically improve if you give it time.
Two weeks in is nothing! Give yourself time to adjust. Don't pin everything on the fact you have a job - a toddler starting preschool will probably be clingy whether you're working or not. It's all about adjusting to a new situation which is a vital life skill for children and adults! If money is tight then it makes sense for you to earn. If the job is dull, think about how you can maybe do some further training to get something more interesting. Before long your kids will be in school, so it's in YOUR interests to find work that is fulfilling. You don't want a life time of being stuck in a rut doing something dull. I would give yourself time to settle in, don't worry over much about boring housework (though make sure you and your DH are sharing the stuff that needs to be done - one of the advantages of both working - you can quite rightly expect him to take his share!)and plan how you can move towards a more stimulating work life.
Suggest you get cleaner. I mean get some one in to clean, not that you wash yourself more often .
They say a job is what you make it so look onward and upward (and sideways at other jobs).
I like that elastic... onward, upward and sideways!
thanks for the advice though you r prob right but staying put it hard to hear!! Findtheriver I have a degree and post grad in housing and was previously earning 10k more a year b 4 ds2!! But i haven't been able to find anything yet in my field - loads of it is agency work and i can't do that till kids r at school since need to pay for childcare and then not always need it (if that makes any sense)!! So just need something to give us a bit of spendies or to save for a holiday. had a great job at uni that was dull but evenings only but temp contract.
I know that ds2 will settle eventually but three days 8 to 6 from nothing seems to harsh for my boy!! esp when he says i though you were lost when i pick him up!! and ds1 said he remembers crying loads at nursery because he missed me!!(i worked until ds2)
Can I look at this from the other side of coin. if you are managing (not extras just managing) then your children are only little for a short time. SAH as long as you can. Okay go without but at least you and your children will be happy. OTOH if you HAVE to work then try to find another job which suits, i.e kitchen lady in a school etc. Better hours, holidays etc. Good luck, hope you feel better soon.
thank u singyswife, i completely agree. my dh thinks the kids will be happy if we have money for better hols or trips etc but i think us being there is crucial thing, though his mum worked f/t and mine was sahm so i guess its horses for courses!!
You do what YOU feel is right. We go on caravan holidays every year (which are booked when it is half price) and we do fun things like bike rides and picnics and free parks during the holidays and at weekends as a family and the kids (7&5) never complain that they are missing out. Hope you find your decision soon.
You have to do what is right for you, but 2 weeks is not enough for everyone to settle down. I'd give a bit longer then see how you feel. I found going back to work really hard at first, but after a while really enjoyed the "grown up" time. DD settled really well in the creche. Now she so enjoys going to "school" that she is actually upset that we are going on holiday tomorrow.
wot singyswife said.
why cause all that upset just for better holidays?
After deciding i'd find another job-that was evenings so I could be with kids- went into work today and manager said don't want to lose me!!!
They are going to increase my resp to make job more interesting and reduce my hours!!! I've got to decide what i want to work and go back to them, can't believe how good their being.
So i'm goin to ask to work two school days and work 930 to 5 other day when dh can pick them up at 4. So hopefully that will work!!
Thanks for your suggestions/comments
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