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Oh help help help - I made a suggestion about something we should do to my boss at work - he liked the suggestion but most of my colleagues hate it and now they are peeved with me and I just feel really small and stupid

(91 Posts)
SixSpotBurnet Wed 17-Sep-08 12:48:58

Help help help.

Have been in new job since January. I joined an existing team which had had a bit of a shake-up and in particular had its reporting lines changed etc.

We have been doing various team-building exercises which to be honest I quite enjoyed blush and I suggested to my boss that perhaps we could have a full day, off-site (budget permitting) in about six months time to review what we'd done, do some training etc. We used to do this at my old firm and they were quite popular.

Anyway, four of my colleagues have kind of rounded on me out of earshot of boss and basically expressed their disapproval of the idea and instructed me "not to spring any more suggestions like this on them without advance warning".

I feel really small and stupid now, and don't quite know what to do. Anyone got any bright ideas?

SixSpotBurnet Wed 17-Sep-08 13:07:19

bump - come and talk to me somebody!

Miyazaki Wed 17-Sep-08 13:08:33

Bugger it. They don't pay your wages. Tall poppies and all that.

RubySlippers Wed 17-Sep-08 13:08:37

are you abseilling down rocks?

that is my idea of hell, although team building per se is not a bad thing

Miyazaki Wed 17-Sep-08 13:09:38

altho if they are v entrenched like that, and you have to work closely with them, I would email your boss in the future, or do it in your 1-2-1s, he is bound to take credit for your ideas so they won't know it's come from you...

RandomFlopsy Wed 17-Sep-08 13:10:02

Don't worry about it. They are jealous because you are showing them up for being lazy and lacking in initiative.

But do check under your desk for horses' heads... grin

MmeLindt Wed 17-Sep-08 13:10:21

Ignore them, if they were so against it they should have said something right away rather than bitching at you later. Sounds like you made a good suggestion.

What does tall poppies mean?

Miyazaki Wed 17-Sep-08 13:10:46

omg - have just realised I put HE and no mention that your boss is a man. ERGH!

Chequers Wed 17-Sep-08 13:11:27

Oh, we do these at work all the time. I hate them, wouldn't take it out on you though unless it was your idea. Oh, hang on....

No really, they'll get over it. Perhaps you should make anonymous suggestions in the future though.

Lazycow Wed 17-Sep-08 13:11:48

Well frankly your colleagues sound a bit off to me. What you have suggested seems fine. Maybe there are some office politics you are unaware of or maybe your colleagues just aren't enjoying the team building exercises.

Do you know why they object to the idea?

HaventSleptForAYear Wed 17-Sep-08 13:12:11

Ahh. It's a horrible feeling isn't it?

I think miyazaki's suggestion about 1 2 1 with boss is good.

Especially from now on because they'll probably all think you're a smart-arse (sorry, this has happened to me and it was nasty.)

Don't think you can really do anything about what's happened, just try and move on.

SixSpotBurnet Wed 17-Sep-08 13:12:12

I did email him, but then he mentioned it in a meeting with all of us, and said it had been my suggestion.

(Boss is a man, yes.)

Lol at checking under desk for horses' heads!

Miyazaki Wed 17-Sep-08 13:12:32

I wiki'ed Tall Poppy

bundle Wed 17-Sep-08 13:13:47


they sound jealous to me smile

ParCark Wed 17-Sep-08 13:13:53

Message withdrawn

CapricaSix Wed 17-Sep-08 13:14:53

I read it as "suggestion of something to do to my boss..." iykwim. I wondered, what the hell was that then?! he liked it but the others rounded on you...grinwink

MmeLindt Wed 17-Sep-08 13:15:21

Thanks, have never heard of that before.

SuperSillyus Wed 17-Sep-08 13:15:24

Well I would think it was great fun and a good idea, I wonder why they are so reluctant?
I don't think you should feel small or stupid. Sounds like your colleagues have some sort of problem with the boss? Maybe the boss isn't great at discussing things with them so they discuss first before involving him?

hecate Wed 17-Sep-08 13:15:56

oh god, it's not those terrible 'team building' days is it? Most people loathe those! grin

SixSpotBurnet Wed 17-Sep-08 13:16:00

I think they object because they think they have enough real work to do without doing extra stuff as well. And so do I, tbh, but I think you have to be outward-looking at least some of the time and not just sit in your own little bunker all the time.

I was going to volunteer to organise it, though, so it wouldn't be extra work really for anyone else but me - just a day out of the office.

Glad I'm not the only one it's happened to, though!

I am not very good at dealing with people not liking me - pathetic I know.

SixSpotBurnet Wed 17-Sep-08 13:16:42

ROFL CapricaSix! Most definitely not!

SammyK Wed 17-Sep-08 13:18:11

Urgh I hate these kind of things!

Not your fault tho, I definately wouldn't have held it against you!

Chequers Wed 17-Sep-08 13:18:16

Wouldn't call it tall poppy syndrome, it's not like the OP has actually invented the concept of teambuilding days.

They're pissed off because they don't want to do it, not because they didn't think of it first.

Miyazaki Wed 17-Sep-08 13:19:24

It's a big thing to get over at work, but it really doesn't matter if they like you or not, presumably they are professional enough to work in the same way. I don't think men worry as much about being liked at work... I regularly have to give myself a good slapping about the whole like-me-like-me thing. It's a hard one!

Cappuccino Wed 17-Sep-08 13:19:45

what miserable feckers they are

I love days out

there are usually good biscuits

we went for a walk round a lake once

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