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i know i dont want to go back to work

(6 Posts)
jammi Thu 11-Sep-08 14:00:26

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anniemac Thu 11-Sep-08 14:56:32

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HonoriaGlossop Thu 11-Sep-08 15:01:41

Mortgage holiday? I did this for six months and it bought me those 6 more months at home with ds.

Downsize the house? We did this too so I could go part time.

Weekend working so DH can be with the child and you need to do less during the week?

Also as annie says, you are being a good parent by ensuring that there IS food on the table and a roof over heads so do not agonise too much. However I know the desperate feeling of not wanting to go back and wanting to be with your own child. It's a case of finding a balance that you are just about comfortable with IME.

And remember this sort of desperate feeling doesn't go on forever. In four short years they are at school and there is far more scope for you to balance working and family. Of course it's never easy because then it's finding a job that fits the hours, but there you go!

Mand81979 Fri 12-Sep-08 22:23:01

I tried childminding to avoid going back to work. It seemed like a fantastic idea. However everyone complains about the cost of childcare because it is so expensive however if this is your wage you see things differently when you are being paid less than the minimum wage waking at the crack of dawn and working until its dark. Then you get parents that seem to want you to do everything for them, care for them all there waking hours during the week, provide all three meals and snacks and even bath them so they can go straight home to bed. I even had one set of parents that wanted to book their children in every weekend. It was only when I realised that my son wasn't getting any attention and was quite honestly being bullied by one of the children when I realised that this defeated the point. Not to mention the amount of weekend courses that I needed to attend. Now I have had to return to my previous job, it pays well but I feel like I am not being a real mum (this is my definition of a real mum). Instead my mum is acting out this role. I am at work full time and so I get to be a weekend mum. It feels like the end of the world to me. I hate my job so I count down the minutes until I come home. I resent everything, my job, my mum, my life, those mums that get to be at home and expecially those mums at home on benefits like a couple of people I went to school with. Sometimes it feels like if you get a job, mortgage and married that you are punished by being seperated from your child, if you just go ahead get pregnant and don't worry about consequences everything falls into place and you get the most precious gift - time with your child!!

I know I sound bitter and I am, but mostly I am sad I feel like I have given up my son, the only part of my life that makes me happy and I am so depressed about this. No amount of money will make this better but I am out of options. I can't sell the house or the cars, extend the mortgage, or find another job that lets me be with Liam. I am just out of options.

It hurts that my son seems to know Nanny and Daddy but not me. It frustrates me that every distant relative (great grandparents, Great Aunties and Uncles) keep reminding us that they want to see my son, and I don't want to share either of my two days with anyone, especially not people that I wouldn't even see from one year to the next under anyother circumstances.

I just hope something will crop up that makes life easier soon. sad

Thanks for listening to my rant sorry I am of no help to you.

findtheriver Sat 13-Sep-08 17:50:38

Mand sad
I hope you feel a little better after venting. It is hard, and I completely understand when you say sometimes it feels like being responsible, planning a family and staying with your partner, and being financially independent just leaves you getting walked all over.
Try to look at the positives - at least with your own mum providing childcare you are maybe getting it cheaper than most people have to pay?? Many people have no choice but to pay full nursery or CM fees when they return to work. Is there any chance you can find a job you like better? Counting down the hours is a truly miserable existence.

Candlegirl Mon 15-Sep-08 15:44:44

I feel the exact same at the moment I am working 2 jobs - but this is with the future in mind - I am building up my contacts for me 2nd job and this will enable me to give up my full-time day job and then do part-time job when it suits me with really good money (hopefully lol)

My youngest is just turned 2 and I want to be there for him next year going to nursery and then off to school but also need to live, as Im sure nearly everyone needs 2 wages to exist.

Its a tough decision when you hate your job but if you enjoy your job then makes its that wee bit easier.

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