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OUTRAGEOUS, guess what my boss thinks of me, T..T

(73 Posts)
lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:12:21

I am still reeling from comments made by my bosses wife on Friday. I am an English as an Additional Language teacher, Degree, PGCE, professional qulifications and 10 years of experience. My boss has never shown me any respect and has always treated mr like a teaching assistant(no disrespect to TAs). I take small groups of non english speaking kids out of mainstream classes at an international school. I always assumed my primary head didnt understand my field as we come from very different backgrounds and he has not encountered EAL before. I now know the truth. For two days last week (as a favour) I covered a year 3 class. On Thursday my bosses wife ( a TA) asked me how it felt to be a proper teacher, I let the comment pass. On Friday she said that my boss was pleased that I coped with being a proper teacher, so I asked her how my boss saw me considering I have been teching for 10 years, all my quals etc. She said,.... Wait for it ... he saw me as a MOTHER. I'm not quite sure what to Infer from this sexist, stupid statement. Did all my experience, qualifications come out with the placenta, am I a cabbage brain who cant mother and teach at the same time. As you can tell from this very long rant I am furious not only because he thinks I cant do my job (which I hate by the way) but he has used the fact that I am a mum as something demeaning. The sad thing is, is that this man will decide if my contract is renewed, for a job, I dont want but have to do. What makes me doubley angry is that my dd aged 4 has glandular fever and I havent taken one day off because of it, which I feel terribley guilty about. Sorry rant over

janeybops Sat 19-Feb-05 21:16:26

What is this also saying about his views on teaching children wiht English as a second langauge?!! Outrageous, and this man is a Headteacher!! Unbelievable

PuffTheMagicDragon Sat 19-Feb-05 21:18:18



Any possibility of finding a job elsewhere lucy5?

purpleturtle Sat 19-Feb-05 21:18:24

Fran1 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:19:13

hope you feel better for getting that off your chest .

It must be horrible to be treated like that. Can you not find work else where? or turn the situation around to prove to him you are more than a Mother.

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:20:45

Exactly, we are in an international environment and he hasnt got a clue. I think he thinks hes an old colonial. Sexist, racist I could go on all night. Dont worry I wont.Hahaha

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:23:44

Unfortuneately not, I am in southern Spain and full time jobs are hard to come by. We have not been here that long and although it doesnt feel like it i am extremely lucky. Unfortunately my dh hasnt been able to find permanent work yet, so Im stuck there.

expatinscotland Sat 19-Feb-05 21:23:55

Hope his kids decide to move to a foreign country. He'll then be forced to visit them and know what it feels like to those who have to learn another language - and how valuable those who teach them are!

stupidgirl Sat 19-Feb-05 21:25:32

Lucy, if you are that disillusioned with your job, could you not work elsewhere, or do something different?

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:28:05

Thanks, expat, thats another gripe, his son gets a free place at my school and he wont sanction a free place for my dd, saying that, the way things are turning out, I wouldnt want her to go there anyway. It's not the ponit though is it, I am starting to feel victimised as other "proper" teachers have their kids there.

ionesmum Sat 19-Feb-05 21:29:22

What a s**t. I'm not altogether sure why the word 'mother' is an insult, as IME it's the most demanding job in the world requiring more skills than this man could dream of. The fact that you manage to combine motherhood with another demanding job shoudl amjke him respect you even more.

ionesmum Sat 19-Feb-05 21:30:32

sorry about the typos, that should be should make him...

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:33:24

Thanks, exactly I never realised Mother had negative connotations either, slimey little d...head does though, hahaha.

Cod Sat 19-Feb-05 21:33:54

Message withdrawn

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 21:38:31

I wish I could but i'm stuck here until dh gets a full time job. I think that makes it worse because I feel cornered. The whole ethos of the school stinks, its bums on seats. Children, teachers, cleaners, whoever we are all commodities. I cant wait to tell them to shove it.

WideWebWitch Sat 19-Feb-05 22:04:22

The best revenge is living well, they say. What an arse he sounds lucy5. Keep ranting here and elsewhere, look for something else and write your resignation letter with full reasons but don't send it until you've got something else. And bloody well take time off to be with your dd if you want to, it doesn't sound as if they will appreciate you or reward you for not taking them and in the long run, who cares what they think anyway? Sorry you have to work for such a tosser though.

Frizbe Sat 19-Feb-05 22:11:06

oh sorry to hear this lucy5, he sounds like a complete twonk, fingers x'd that your dh has some good luck soon and you can get yourself sorted out with a new job, or whatever you want to do!
What kind of work is your dh looking for, perhapse us mumsnetters can assist? (you never know! being as we're an international org and all that!)

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 22:17:45

Thanks, I have written it in my head so many times. Im so frightened about not having contract renewed just incase I have to stay, that I relly cant take time off until the end of august when ive signed on the dotted line. I did take 2 sick days a few weeks ago, when I just couldnt face going in but I didnt use dd as an excuse. My dh is a surveyor and youd think with all the building going on in southern spain it would be easy.

Wills Sat 19-Feb-05 22:21:27

Oh I soooo understand your frustration. I've been back to work after having dd2 for 6 months. I work in the city and since my return they've tried really hard to get me to leave or to give me basic redundancy or to get rid of me etc etc etc. I've fought them all the way and they've backed off recently (mind you I had to hire a solicitor in the end). I ranted at a friend in hr once recently that it had not been this bad when I returned after having my first child. SHE (and I've emphasised SHE for a reason!) said that the company could accept one child but after having two the company now felt that I could no longer possibly commit to my career and was therefore a burden. (nothing in writing of course!). I responded with "Oh I see I'm allowed to make 1 "mistake" but not twice huh! There was no comment. I've assumed its the world i work in (investment banking) so am shocked and disheartened to hear of it happening in teaching. We think we live in a modern equalish society but since becoming a mother (something that as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I ever did!) I've learnt that its not equal at all.

Don't feel guilty over your dd - she wont remember.

As for his wife - brainless moronic cow!

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 22:27:25

Thanks wills , you really made me laugh, you couldnt have put it any better. I love being a mum and ive taken a good look at myself to see if I have become a bore. I am sure I havent, the majority of my colleagues are young 20 somethings or people with grown up or nearly grown up kids who arent really interested, so unless asked i dont really talk about dd. Sorry that you have been put through the ringer too, it makes it worse coming from a woman somehow. God, I sound sexist now.

Wills Sat 19-Feb-05 22:34:17

NO you don't - sound sexist that is. Its why I emphasised the SHE. I really hate to see others going through this buts its true. What's the chances of you moving. I've had to wait until now. Within the banking world budgets and therefore jobs are only just being agreed and therefore the market's only just starting to move. I thought teachers where in great demand. In fact I've even wondered about re-training on the basis that it would fit in with my girls and be more rewarding etc.

lucy5 Sat 19-Feb-05 22:42:23

Im in spain and its virtually impossible to get into the spanish system, so at the moment im stuck unless I do private tuition which is unreliable and involves alot of running around, unsociable hours etc. I would not be in this position in Uk, I could just swap schools and would have union backing. Teaching is usually a highly rewarding job and great if you have kids, i am just in a strange situation. I am in an English environment in Spain without any of the regulations, support systems, that I am used to. Dont let me put you off.

alux Sat 19-Feb-05 22:59:23

I am speechless lucy5. I teach and know that ignorant, self-righteous heads and head of depts. are not as rare as we hope them to be. I have been in a workplace where I felt bullied and miserable but endured and swallowed a lot of pride at times simply to keep sight of my long term goal. I am happy at my current school and I'm glad I persevered.

Keep looking for a new job. Look even outside teaching as lots of teachers get jobs based on their skills to plan long, med, and short term, organise, speak in front of a demanding audience, adapt quickly to rapidly changing environment, reevaluate a topic when the current tack is not working, analyse their own work.

Hope this was useful and not a waffle.

alux Sat 19-Feb-05 22:59:57

Not trying to change the topic but Wills, teachers are in less demand than the gov't would make us think. With declining rolls especially outside the SE, jobs in primary are difficult to get. As the years pass, it will start to hit secondary too.

Inside the SE, the cost of living is high so the pay can't stretch far enough. And everywhere else including the SE the pay is meagre when compared to the that of other professions, stress and workload is high and behaviour in many schools is appalling. Hence many train and don't stick with the profession... that is why there seems to be a shortage of teachers.

alux Sat 19-Feb-05 23:04:36

I feel like I am trying to take over here. Based on your last post lucy5, do you read the TES message board? there is a great discussion forum for teachers teaching abroad. It can give you better insight than I can on how to find a good quality British system school abroad.

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