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need some serious help sorting some stuff in my head ref returning to work in november

(14 Posts)
copingvquietly Fri 25-Jul-08 00:48:07

this has been going round in my head for quite a while and its getting nearer and nearer.i am due to return to work in november which is worrying me alot.not only the whole going back to work thing but also the added fact that my work is near to where i was rapedsad.the thought of returning back to that place is horrid but equally i will need to far i havent needed to rely on benefits because of a special arrangement with my would also mean i would have to move again as commuting from where i am now just isnt possible!

so ive got a few options which is where the problem i

a)not return and go on benefits meaning we would be worse off and potentially not be able to stay in our house
b)move back into the area and risk me not coping with being there and return to my former job
c)not return but look for something else nearer to home which might take too long leaving us with money problems and needing to go on benefits anyway


hughjarsss Fri 25-Jul-08 00:50:46

You've got a bit of time so I would start looking for another job now

MeMySonAndI Fri 25-Jul-08 01:49:11

Look for another job, your well being is more important than the house.

flowerybeanbag Fri 25-Jul-08 09:08:22

I agree with the others. I've read some of your threads cvq and think you are coping amazingly well with everything you've been through. But I think you should at least explore the possibility of another job nearer where you are.

A bit of a fresh start with work might help. You have a bit of time to find something - I don't know what you do or how fussy or unfussy you can be, but there are a couple of months, and there tends to be some movement in the job market in September as well.

Give it a go and see how you get on.

DutchOma Fri 25-Jul-08 09:53:44

The last thing I would do is to move back to where you were raped, that is just too horrendous to think about. You are beginning to emerge from that nightmare, but you are still very fragile. You have made a friend where you are. Living off benefits is not as bad as you might think, especially if it is a temporary thing. How about investigating what you would be entitled to as well as finding out what jobs you could do and keeping your options open. Whatever you do, don't worry about it. Things have a way of solving themselves and then you wonder why ever you worried so much. Worry only makes things worse. Omas know.

copingvquietly Fri 25-Jul-08 10:23:07

thankyou for your one hand i would love to be able to return to my job.i worked with some really lovely people and after everything they have put in place for me over the last year i feel i owe it to them to at least return and give it a go?BUT if i do that im risking my own mental health again aaaarrgghhh.
what if i cant get a job which gives us enough money to be able to pay for everything i can now.god that sounds awful doesnt itblush
what i really need to do is weigh up the pros and cons of my options and see which one comes out top then go from there i think.

DutchOma Fri 25-Jul-08 11:28:23

Under the circumstances I think you are perfectly entitled to think FIRST of what is best for J and you. If the people you worked for have been understanding in the past, they will be understanding now and give you the space to start a new life elsewhere.
Get some sensible advice to see what you would be entitled to. You can at any time go back to work near where you are, if you feel strong enough, even if you have been on benefits for a while.

copingvquietly Fri 25-Jul-08 19:25:06

with my line of work i could in theory find something along the same lines as the job i used to do but tbh they dont come up very often.also my company only has one office in the UK so i cant even go to another office unless i move abroadhmm
i may be able to work from home doing what i do but also with the travel involved would make chilcare an issue.jesus this is a total minefieldshock

ive just been on the company website to check the positions available and theres nothing there at the moment which is in my field.what i dont want is to leave it too long if i am going to have to make any major changes to our life.

im going to have a look at some rivals and see what theyve got to offerblush

DutchOma Fri 25-Jul-08 21:20:54

Is it possible to talk to the person who was your line manager, off the record to have a quiet word with him/her, to see how they would feel about you coming back or not?

copingvquietly Sat 26-Jul-08 11:08:24

i will do much to think about eh?

copingvquietly Sat 26-Jul-08 22:24:27

rivals had nothing either <sigh>

CvQ Mon 04-Aug-08 01:18:17

after a meeting on friday i came to the conclusion that me returning to that place was going to be detrimental to my as off the end of october i will be living off benefits if i cant find any other suitable position nearer to where home now issad
actually its made me fucking cross typing not only has he taken my life my family my selfworth my pride my freedom now hes taken my future job prospectsangryfucking wanker needs to hang himselfangry

MrsSprat Mon 04-Aug-08 01:33:21

Hi CvQ, not posted on your threads before, but you've come such a long way. Kudos to you.

Does your employer have an HR dept where you used to work? Given the circs, if they do, it would be reasonable of them to advise you on where you could go next or any partial-retraining you could look into.

No idea what you do or how specialised it is, but sounds like it would be good for your self-esteem to have something lined up, or to work towards, even if it does mean claiming for a little while.

CvQ Mon 04-Aug-08 01:49:12

thankyou mrssprat.i dont really even know if i will be cut out for work anyway.ive still a long way to go and demons to only saving grace will be if i get the CICA payment im due.then i hope i wont need to worry for a while.

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