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Really not enjoying being back to work!

(14 Posts)
SpecialOffer Wed 23-Jul-08 14:13:16

I had a year off as a SAHM, I had always been a career girl up till then. I am sooo lucky that my employer agreed to a job share when I returned with 0,5 day from home, and two days in the office.

Well I have been back about 8 weeks and hate it so much. The stress is too much (work wise) and I am finding it really hard to care about work, when I really have to.

I am not finding leaving my son too bad if I am honest, its the actual job. My son loves his nursery and has settled in fine.

I really would love to find a job I can go in, and then leave on time without a fight, and not take any work home with me. the only problem being is we have no alternative to nusery so it needs to be a well paid job to cover that. I am sat here in tears as I don't want to go in tomorrow...

Ideally someone could give me £100 a week, I could give up work and stay at home??????

cthea Wed 23-Jul-08 14:16:25

Why can't you leave work behind you when you go home? How much do they expect in 2.5 days?

flowerybeanbag Wed 23-Jul-08 14:19:10

Did you feel the same way about your job before your maternity leave? If not, what's changed to make you feel this way about it, if you are fine leaving your son?

SpecialOffer Wed 23-Jul-08 14:19:42

There is always sooo much to do, and if I need to finish documents, I have to take them home. I need to finish early some days to pick LO up from nursery, and these documents are on a tight deadline.

I have calls on my mobile, e-mail on my days off. I ognore all of these, but it still gets to me. I have tried talking to them, but I think they are finding it hard to look at me as a mum with something else other than work?!

SpecialOffer Wed 23-Jul-08 14:21:42

Flowery - I suppose I was starting to think like that before I went on leave, but work was the main focus of my life. Now i have my son, I want to have a life as well. I suppose I don't really know what I want! Just need sometimes to get it all off my chest!

pattymc Wed 23-Jul-08 14:29:53

Hi Special I really feel for you. sounds like you are pretty unhappy and the situation at work will probably not change (sorry if that sounds negative). If you continue to feel like this it is really going to make you feel low and you don't need to feel this, I think you should look at options, a career move perhaps? /you mentioned you needed the money for nursery. Is there a cheaper childcare option? I know so many people unhappy in their jobs, those that do something about it and leave are now the happiest people I know, less stressed, less hours - ok some less money, some more but taking control was the best decision they made. You have made a small step just posting here and now things can only get better - look in to lots of options, setting up a business, working from home - taking a part time course - the more people you talk to the more ideas you will get. sorry I have gone on a bit but I am really passionate about the subject of being happy at work - but I also sympathise that for some there are less options than others.

cthea Wed 23-Jul-08 14:31:40

"they are finding it hard to look at me as a mum with something else other than work?!" I think they need to see you as someone who works 2.5 days a week, not 5. None of their business what you do the rest of the time. You might need to re-negotiate your working hours and tasks. How's the other person who you job-share with? Something's not working there.

flowerybeanbag Wed 23-Jul-08 14:35:31

I agree with pattymc. I think it does sound like the job is the problem, particularly if you were starting to feel that previously. Have a child suddenly in the equation can have a marvellous effect of bringing everything into focus and getting you to think more about your life and what you want from it. The time you have available to you is more precious, and you naturally want to be more picky about what you do with it.

I think you need to talk it through some more, think things through some more to get a bit of clarity about what you actually want. Then you need to think about how you can achieve it. If you can do that you'll feel much more positive about whatever it is you are doing as it will be either what you want to do or a step towards that.

What about some of the options pattymc mentions?

SpecialOffer Wed 23-Jul-08 18:22:34

Thank you all so much. Sorry I didn't reply earlier but my internet went down!

I think having a child does bring more clarity and has made me realise what I want now.

I was toying with the idea of becoming a childminder, but unsure if it is for me. Might have to pop along to the board they have to find out some more.

I LOVE working with children so that might be one option.

Thanks for all the advice, I will talk it over with my DP when he is off at the weekend (working nights at the mo!)

PavlovtheCat Wed 23-Jul-08 18:27:09

specialoffer sad for you.
I feel like this too, i loved my job before I left for maternity leave, now its all a bit much for me, a highly pressured, demanding job that just takes too much of me.

It does get easier though. I cant quit, work 32 hours, need the money for mortgage, and I just perservered until I became able to go in, do my job well, and leave. You are very lucky that you only have to do 2 days in office though, remember than when it gets too much, and spend the two days looking forward to the rest of the week off.

I just remind myself that it is for my family, it is good for us for us both to work, it shows something positive to DD as she grows up, lots of people do it, and it would be worse if we were not working, I would be bored etc etc.

But like you, could quite happily do something minimal, less brain intense, but nothing pays as well!

I hope it gets easier, you are not alone.

mrsruffallo Wed 23-Jul-08 18:28:20

Can you afford to stay at home if you streamline?

Elasticwoman Wed 23-Jul-08 18:44:24

Could you go freelance? You don't mention the nature of your work, so it might not lend itself, but if it does, being your own boss could be the answer.

tomwill Thu 07-Aug-08 15:44:56

My hubbies company have a really nice part time office manager/administrator role for 20-25hrs per week. Small media/mobile advertising company, office based in SE1.
It would be handy for school pick ups because their happy for working hours to be 10-3pm (or whatever suits). I think salary is about £20k pro rata.

If you're interested, leave me a message!

Tomwill

milojar Sun 17-Aug-08 23:26:21

Wow that job sounds great, nothing like that around here, but I suppose living near London costs a lot more than out in these sticks!

I wasn't impressed with the job options I was faced with after having my little boy (I had given up a job and moved before getting pregnant) so I recently signed up to Usborne Books to try and start my own business. I think my family think it's just a hobby job and yes it is a lot of fun, but more to the point its totally flexible (so no childcare needed) and I think if I really focus on it I might be able to make it financially possible to avoid getting a 'proper' job!

I guess it's like any business you start yourself: hard to make a profit in the first year (and I probably work double the hours I would in an office, but they are mostly during DS's nap times/after bedtime!!)

There are lots of other direct selling gigs like good old Avon, or the Pampered Chef etc.. perhaps you could try one of those to make £100 a week (that's about my aim too!)

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