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Anyone up for a going back to work support thread?

(85 Posts)
MissLiss Tue 22-Jul-08 21:26:20

I'm due back in 3 weeks. Having the usual feelings of dread/nausea/will they remember me-type-stuff. But I've got to do it. Anyone want to hand hold??!?

Sarimillie Tue 22-Jul-08 22:08:33

Oooh, I'm in just the same situation, MissLiss. And I'm also wondering whether I'll remember stuff, let alone be remembered...

MissLiss Wed 23-Jul-08 08:17:28

Exactly - my brain has gone a little soggy I think. I'm sure we'll find out just how much we've forgotten when we get back.

Pablop Wed 23-Jul-08 08:27:03

I've just done it, I went back in early June, a month in its like I was never away, my ds is at nursery 3 days and at his grandmas 2 days. He is all smiling and gurgly when I drop him off and he is the same when I pick him up, I don't always go straight in but watch him through the glass in the door to see what he's doing, he is usually merrily playing with something. I am not in a financial situation that would enable me to be a sahm so I am wracked with guilt most of the time. On the plus side, I like my job, colleagues, I enjoy the grownup conversation and drinking a full cup of coffee in peace.
I so look forward to picking him up at the end of the day.

MissLiss Wed 23-Jul-08 08:34:13

So there are positives Pablop. Sounds like you're all doing so well. How old is your DS?

Sarimillie Wed 23-Jul-08 10:39:24

Pablop, good to hear that it's going well!

The guilt-wracking thing happens whatever you do, I think; we COULD just about manage on one salary for now, but I think I need to go back to future-proof things... hard to get back into work after a long period away sometimes, and who knows what the economy will throw at us. But I do feel especially guilty going back because it isn't immediately essential.

MissLiss Thu 24-Jul-08 16:24:09

Are you going back full time Sarimillie? I'm lucky to be able to go back to my part time role 2 and a half days a week which I was doing before I left to have ds2 (who's 9 months). But I feel like it's going to be much harder this time round. Two children, double the difficulty. And it sounds like your going back is important for all sorts of reasons. Ensuring your family's future, for one - try not to feel guilty. It's always going to be difficult, isn't it?

Mine Thu 24-Jul-08 20:38:55

i too have to go back to work in a few weeks and am petrified. I'm only going to be doing a 4 day week (weds off) but i'm so worried that

a) ds will 'forget' me becuase he'll be with my mum all day
b) they won;t know all his little quirks like i do and just wind him up
c) they'll spoil him
d) he'll forget me
e) i'm going to miss all the important milestones like his first steps, first words, funny expressions... just about everything i take for granted now.
f) he'll forget me
g) i'm going to miss him soo much that i'm going to cry like a fool at my desk every day.

I wish we were rich so i could afford to be a SAHM...

Sarimillie Sat 26-Jul-08 18:33:32

MissLiss - thank you. Couldn't get online for a few days but it's lovely to hear soothing, sensible words. Am going to be back in my old role and also three days per week, so similar to your plan... and yes, I think it will be doubly as tricky as doing it the first time! I feel bad that dd will be just 8 months - ds was older - but on the other hand I don't think they'll be keeping score.

Mine - fab that he'll be with your mum, but you are his mum, and he won't forget you! And you will - trust me - manage to focus when you need to, then really make the most of your lovely Wednesdays and weekends together. I'd be tempted to make a firm plan for the two of you on Wednesdays - stories at the library, one o'clock club, whatever - so that you have a really good time together and don't just use it for errands!

MissLiss Mon 28-Jul-08 08:58:28

Sounds like a good idea to make plans for some of the time off. It tends to disappear otherwise in a haze of washing,, drying and constant tidying up! When are your start dates? Mine's looming now

Ambi Mon 28-Jul-08 09:03:23

Yep I'm back in 3 weeks too. I'm dreading it but looking forward to having some money again. I'm going back half days but taking DD in the office with me. I'm sure I've forgotten everything.

sprogger Mon 28-Jul-08 09:11:46

I'll give support! I've gone back for the second time and have been back for 4 months.

It's really hard at the beginning, but remember it's a bit like being back to having a newborn again - all those routines you've carefully developed are out the window and you have to adapt to new ones that you haven't necessarily chosen. Don't panic - you've adapted before, and you'll be able to do it again. Wait 12 weeks and then take stock of how you're doing.

Sarimillie Mon 28-Jul-08 10:46:36

Good advice re. giving yourself time to adapt, Sprogger. Ambi - wow, I'm impressed that you're taking your dd in with you. Hope tht goes well! MissLiss - yes, my start date is looming for me too: I go back a week today. Eeek. You?

MissLiss Mon 28-Jul-08 13:34:56

I'm back two weeks from today, and it's going to fly by. I just know, like last time, it's going to feel like I've never been away. I think the hardest thing, like Sprogger says, is just surrendering all those little routines it's taken us ages to fall into and having to start from scratch. But having an income is a real benefit, Ambi - good point! Had forgotten the real purpose of my return to work. Might have to aim for a treat after 12 weeks as a reward!

needtosavemoney Sat 02-Aug-08 07:35:12

I go back on 18th and I feel sick at the thought of leaving ds2.
I am looking forward to going back to work and having some money I just don't want to leave my baby.
I am such a wuss when it comes to things like this

Mine Sat 02-Aug-08 14:23:42

i wish i could take DS in with me but we don;t have a creche at work.

Why isn;t this available to us in big corporations....???

My mum is brilliant with DS, my dad is even better! DS adores his grandparents but leaving him is still going to be the hardest thing ever.
He drives me nuts sometimes, but its still going to be hard.
I know i'm not to only woman to have to leave her child and go to work, there are so many more out there that have not had the luxury of taking a year 'off' to care for their baby, but its still hard.

I've already been into work a few times, and have enjoyed to change, but i still would prefer to be a SAHM !!

Nice to know though that those of you that have gone back to work are still surviving!!

CJMommy Sat 02-Aug-08 17:09:43

Can I join??? Am back at work on 1st Sept, full time and DS going to a nursery 5 days a week - he'll only be 7 months old!! sad

MissLiss Sun 03-Aug-08 19:53:21

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Sarimillie, hope it goes as well as it can. Just think of all the cuddles you'll get when you get back! Good luck.

A creche at work would be fab, wouldn't it? It would feel so much easier knowing that they were close by. Sadly, don't think that's ever going to happen at my work!

Greedygirl Sun 03-Aug-08 20:16:42

Hello, I would like to join in too, I also go back 1st September and I am v.sad, I have loved every minute of my time off with my DS and do not want to go back! I am a teacher and I am worried about how much work I will be expected to do in my own time. My DS will be 9 months and going to a CM 2 days and his Grandma's 1 day. I am still breastfeeding so that is another worry. It will be nice to speak to you all and hear your experiences!

MissLiss Sun 03-Aug-08 20:20:34

Hi Greedygirl - breastfeeding concerns here too. That's my biggest worry if I'm honest - I just know DS2 won't drink any milk whilst I'm away and I'm worried about how he's going to settle to sleep when I'm not around. He's a very enthusiastic breastfeeder! And I want to make it as easy as possible on him, but I just don't know how

Greedygirl Sun 03-Aug-08 20:27:41

Are you inside my head wink?! Totally with you, my DS is still a milk monster at 8 months and only settles to sleep at the breast, in the car on at a push in his bouncy chair (which he is far, far too big for!). He is getting to grips with solids and can drink water from a sippy cup so I am not worried from that point of view but I am worried from a comfort/settling point of view. I just hope that it will be out of sight, out of mind and he will find other ways of settling sad.

jollydiane Sun 03-Aug-08 20:46:23

Hello all - are you going back part-time?

Greedygirl Sun 03-Aug-08 20:55:27

Hi Diane, I am going back 3 days a week.

Mine Sun 03-Aug-08 22:03:08

i'm going to be doing a 4 day week.
I wish i could do 2 days in the office and 3 days at home grin but thats never going to happen!
I'm dreading the commute into central london just as much as leaving ds!

Ambi Mon 04-Aug-08 01:31:08

I'm going back for mornings, missliss there's no creche, just DD by my desk in her travel cot with her toys. Luckily daddy is 2 desks down, so if she has a meltdown she can go to him.

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