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any nurses out there now SAHMs and decided not to return to nursing?

(19 Posts)
scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 12:23:25

I would love to hear from any nurses who have battled with the SAHM/WOHM role. I went back to work early (3 months before mat leave was due to finish) and felt I really needed to get back into it. I lasted a few months and then handed in my notice at work deciding to focus on being at home for my DS.
I went for a job interview recently at the nurse bank and on the way there I just thought 'do I really want to go back into nursing?'

Anyone else had similar thoughts and feelings? Would love to hear from you if you are a nurse who decided to put career on hold to raise your DC.

lou031205 Fri 11-Jul-08 14:35:32

I have to say that I have. I have 2 DDs, and a 5 hour contract, due to return on 23rd July.

I worked out that for my 5 hours a week, after taking in to account all the tax credits etc that I will lose, means that I would be working for £1.73 per hour, before petrol, wear and tear etc. That of course, is if I rely on my Mum for childcare. If I was to pay for childcare, I would be paying to go to work.

The hospital is 45 mins drive from home, and I could be allocated any 5 hours between 8-6 Monday to Friday.

So, I have resigned. I have to admit that there are a few niggles - I only qualified in 2003, and was quite ill in my first pregnancy, so don't feel I've achieved a great deal. Also, there is the worry that no-one might want me if I try to return - but I think that is just because people say that it is hard to get a job if you aren't in one.

I have decided that my banked hours carry me through to 2010 without worries for registration, and I would only have to return part time in 2011 to bank enough to re-register in 2012. If I need longer than that, I can always do a return to practice course.

scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 15:45:33

thanks lou. it's such a difficult decision isn't it?
I am dual qualified (which means I've invested alot into the training - nearly 5 years) and haven't really had a lot to show for it - don't feel I've actually consolidated the training at all. qualified first in 2003 and then again in 2006 in another branch of nursing. but tbh, I haven't really had a good crack at the whip in either setting, so I just think maybe I should forget about going back and put all my energies into being a SAHM, and then later on figure out what I want to do (either RtP course in nursing, or something else completely different).
Ds is 14 months old and ttc baby no2 fairly soon. It just seems more bother than it's worth returning to work.

scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 15:46:55

I can appreciate why you resigned, you thought it all through thoroughly and at the end of the day it's DC that come first priority.

PinkPussyCat Fri 11-Jul-08 15:56:39

Hi, my ds is nearly a year old. I have just sent in an application form to go on the bank but have not heard back from them as yet.
We are lucky as financially we can afford for me to be a SAHM, (dh has very good job) but it's more a question of it seeming like a waste of all the hard slog of training, and doing my degree since.
Also I have no childcare whatsoever!

scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 16:13:33

pinkpussycat, when did you do your training and how long did you work for?

I know, nurse banks take ages to get back to you. I've waited 3 months to get an interview, and even then if I'm sucessful it can easily take another two months before I even get a shift (all the admin and checks that they do).

DH also has a good job which means we are v lucky that I can be a SAHM and we can live a comfortable life but like yourself, it's more to do with all the time I invested into training that seems such a waste now looking back.

PinkPussyCat Fri 11-Jul-08 16:29:45

I trained at both Stirling and Falkirk (or Forth Valley as it was then) and qualified in 1998. What about you?

I spend forever trying to dream up lovely things I could do from home... maybe we just have to accept that life changes! But it's a bit frustrating as far as trying to maintain your registration goes. And there's the 'theory hours' on top of that... can't quite remember how many of those you need.<sigh>

scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 16:44:38

Dundee for me. Those student days seems long ago now!! Life totally changes after having kids, I had no idea how much until after our DS was born. It changes your perspective on where your career fits into your life.
qualified in adult nursing 2003 and then mental health 2006. I worked for a year in adult then went back into full time ed to do the conversion into mental health and then worked for nearly 2 years (inclusive of maternity leave). So all in all, I've not worked a great deal!! blush
I'm considering letting registration lapse next time, still got several months to think about that yet. We'll see...

scottishmum007 Fri 11-Jul-08 16:46:23

It's good chatting to other nurses who are in the same boat, I was beginning to wonder if all nurses who have kids automatically just go back to work without any doubts at all!

PinkPussyCat Fri 11-Jul-08 16:58:24

I am in Dundee at the moment! Have been working in NICU at NW for last 7 years - how's that for coincidence!

lou031205 Fri 11-Jul-08 21:28:15

Hi again, I have 2DDs 2.7 and 11mo, and we are TTC#3.

I am adult trained. Started in Neurosurgical theatres - loved it but working relationship with boss became untenable when I blew the whistle (long story), and she refused me a reference for a post without my knowledge - a real confidence knocker, because I was good at my job, and became skilled in 3 areas of practice within 6 months, worked there 18 months and felt like I had no alternative than to leave sad - couldn't continue with things the way they were, and management wouldn't change things because too many worms...

Went on to Neonatal Intensive Care, but fell pregnant as soon as I got there!

Returned from Mat Leave and went to Outpatients - nice team, but more paper shuffling than clinical nursing, generally.

I considered mental health, and often felt I should have chosen that branch.

I have a degree in Social Studies, so could retrain as a teacher. For now, any way, I will be a SAHM.

MadameCheese Fri 11-Jul-08 23:20:03

I'm taking a year off and then re-assessing the situation at that point.With the way the trust is treating us at the moment I'm really not looking forward to going back. In the current climate the negative aspects seem to far outweigh the positive in my job. However I do appreciate the skills I've been able to develop as a nurse and maybe can adapt them to do something else.

brimfull Fri 11-Jul-08 23:25:23

I gave up nursing yrs and yrs ago to be a sahm.
I then did floristry and have now returned to nursing but as an HCA and I think I'll do the return to practice course...but still unsure.

louii Fri 11-Jul-08 23:30:28

I left nursing to be a SAHM, moved country as well, then when DS was 2 I started to do agency at the weekends as DP works Mon-Fri.

Agency totally suited me and was good money but have had hardly any shifts since April.

Started a new job 3 weeks ago, doing homecare nursing, so just weekends again but a permanent job.

Find nursing great to fit around my DS and when he starts school i will probably do a few nights during the week as well.

I trained in Dundee as well, qualified in 2000 smile

Jas Fri 11-Jul-08 23:39:54

I qualified as RMN in 1990,and stopped to have dd1 in 1999. If I'd known I was pg again, I would have gone back after dd1 but didn't realise until I'd given my noticeblush

I started a bank job when dd2 was about 6 months, but found it very difficult to work part time hours, and made a (very minor) drug error which completely knocked my confidence. I left immediately after that shift, and decided to let my registration lapse.

I would consider going back as a HCA ( my youngest child is now 2) but am also looking into retraining in something completely different.

hennipenni Sat 12-Jul-08 21:53:39

I qualified in 1992 and after lots of soul searching I resigned in 2004 to be a SAHM as I felt that my 3DDs were suffering due to the long shifts I was working. I am now a registered childminder which fits in beautifully for my DDs. My registration has now lapsed and I have no intention of going back into this field. If the opportunity were to arise and finances were to allow I would love to train to be a primary school teacher.

scottishmum007 Mon 14-Jul-08 10:31:58

what a wide variety of choices you guys have all made. i'm still waiting to hear how I did at the interview I had last week in regards to doing bank work, but Jas, I have to say that would be my biggest fear, making a drug error because I'm never at the job on a regular basis. we'll see.
I've got a friend who is a pharmacist and has offered to train me up as an assistant if I do decide to change career. there's always loads of options out there. It just saddens me think I've spent almost 5 years of my life training for it all to go down the pan. Still, it's a v small sacrifice to make for having the life I've got now. I'm sure many of you feel the same way. To not have my DS in my life now would be unthinkable.

SilentTerror Mon 14-Jul-08 19:06:44

I have carried on,but only work one day per week.
Don't need the money,but have ceen qualified 18 yrs and now work in paediatrics which is mostly good! Don't do shifts as such either now,and no weekends or nights.
I think it is the shifts that are hard with children. Especially when they are at school.
I just enjoy the team work,social side,money,feeling of doing something worthwhile,that sort of thing. And I suppose I would feel aggrieved at all the effort put in.
Having said that,there are many days when I could cheerfully walk out and nevwer go back!

scottishmum007 Thu 17-Jul-08 17:21:37

that's a good way of doing it, SilenTerror, just doing one day a week.
I got a letter from the bank today saying that I have to fill out the engagement form they sent out amongst a few other forms, and have to wait on clearance from OHSAS and references and then I'll get dates for induction and uniform fittings etc. Looking good, just a waiting game really. Hope to get shifts before Christmas wink. Decided I'm going to give bank nursing a go before writing it off completely. May find that it works out well (hoping to work Sunday every other week - working around DH shifts and have many commitments during the week).
I know what you mean SilenTerror, it's the social side I miss the most, mixing with other staff and having a bit money (not that it's that important) but it's good for your self esteem. Gives us mums another focus going out to work rather than obsessing about dirty nappies and tempter tantrums 24/7!!lol

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