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I hate being a working mum, rant, sorry.

(43 Posts)
lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:16:50

The title says it all really. After being lucky enough to have 4 years as a sahm, I am now in the position where I have had to go back to work. I have been doing it for 3 months and I hate it. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly guilty. I come home from work having taught other peoples children all day, too tired to do fun things with my dd. I have to push myself as I constantly feel guilty. I also hate getting caught in the crossfire of politics at school. I dont care what the majority of these childless 20 somethings think. I want to do my job well and go home, not spend endless hours debating the colour of pen to use when marking as it might disturb a child. It my be disturbing to my own dd that its nearly 6 and im still not home. Decide on the bloody colour and tell me. Im sorry to rant but i really needed to get this off my chest. I havent really told dh the extent of my feelings as I dont want to put any added pressure on him. He really wants to work and is finding it hard to be a stay at home dad. We are in a new country, so this is the way it is until we sort ourselves out, so I know its not forever, but i just cant stand the guilt. By the way I have nothing against 20 somethings or childless people, its just this particular bunch of gits. Sorry for the rant , I must admit its quite therapeutic.

marinda Wed 26-Jan-05 22:21:17

Know what you mean - I work 3 dys and my soon is 3.8. I put priority on taking him to playgroup, taking him places etc... HATE leaving him in morning. Just go to work, do it mindlessly and come home !!!!!! I hate people I work with who have no kids as they have NO BLOODY IDEA - Anyway Pg again so at least Have maternity leave to look forward to. The workplace does NOT help working mums

shrub Wed 26-Jan-05 22:25:43

hi lucy5 - sounds like the answers are within your post. hold on to the fact it is temporary, could you afford to go part-time while dh finds a job?
i understand how you feel - when my ds1 was 5 months old i went back to work and lasted 1 day!!

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:26:52

oh Marinda, you lucky thing, I would love to be pg again. Its so strange before I went back to work id almost come to the conclusion that I was happy with one child, more freedom as she was reaching school age. Now im as broody as can be. Your right about workplace not helping working mums, next week im having to take a day off sick to look for a school for my dd as my school has withdrawn the offer of a free place for my dd as I only, yes only work a 95% contract. The powers that be are all men, what does that tell you hahaha!

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:29:04

Thanks shrub, i know I need to keep "temporary in sight, I just have had a bad couple of days. I was so grumpy with my dd that i really shouted at her yesterday, something I never do, she burst out crying and so did I. I felt like Myra Hindley.

moondog Wed 26-Jan-05 22:32:20

God, I sympathise.Left work permanently after my maternity leave thinking I would miss it, and God, I don't, not a bit. Being at home all day with two kids is no breeze, but I get into bed thinking that at least I have been with them, not with other people. Don't mean to sound smug, as I know many people have to work whether they want to or not, but it's a weight off my mind.
(Mind you, just been told by my boss that if I don't return in three years, I have to retrain! That's pissed me off!

shrub Wed 26-Jan-05 22:32:41

oh me and my ds1 had a day like that yesterday - someone at school made him cry, then he made his ds2 cry which made me cry and then dh came home and then it was ok again as he doesn't get so emotional like the rest of the family - which is just as well!

Gillian76 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:32:59

Lucy, you could be me writing that! I am a teacher also and HATE all the stupid politics. Don't mind the actual teaching, but as soon as the bell rings in the afternoon want to be home with my own children.

Hope it doesn't last for you

marinda Wed 26-Jan-05 22:34:05

Lucy - it took me 7 months and I wanted to be off in the summer - has worked OK as when maternity starts, DS will be going to school. So I can take him and collect him - Yipeeee ! If in doublt, get pg again. Should not really put ideas in your head, but I found it gave me inner peacefullness. I see what happens at work as trivea, except it gets me down and i DO get dragged into crappy poletics !!! You only have kids once Are you full time ? How do you manage if you are ?

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:35:51

Moondog, you dont sound smug you sound lucky. Ive got nothing against working mums, its just not for me. Im afraid at the moment, I feel all bosses are b***ds.

shrub Wed 26-Jan-05 22:36:05

i don't believe in the astrology angle BUT have increasingly found everyone goes more weird than usual when there's a full moon. spooky........

Gillian76 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:37:35

And is there a full moon now, shrub?

shrub Wed 26-Jan-05 22:40:17

i think it was yesterday

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:40:44

Marinda I have a 95% contract but with meetings, parent evenings etc. its way over. One of my biggest guilt trips is that, I see dd for 10 mins in morning if shes awake. My husband takes her to and from nusery. They phoned me to tell me she was sick the other day and I had to get dh to deal with it, as work are so horrible about having time off especially over your childs health. Unfortunately not in a position at the mo to tell them to F off.

PuffTheMagicDragon Wed 26-Jan-05 22:41:15

The "what colour pen" and "what size of tick box shall we have on this year's reports" meetings are the things I am dreading about returning to teaching. Time out of the classroom is precious - I would be chewing my sleeve, desperate to get out of the staff room and get on with some work!

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:41:31

I dont think its the full moon. I know its pmt. aaaagghhh

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:44:32

Puff, im afraid ive become flipant and sarcastic, last week we spent two hours dicussing wall displays. Should they be single or double bordered. Mmm let me think, oh I know I dont give a s**t. This was all in my head of course, its amazing how long you can keep up an inane grin

PuffTheMagicDragon Wed 26-Jan-05 22:50:19

I think full time teaching when you have young children of your own is very tough. Hopefully your dh will find something soon - hang in there.

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:52:46

Thanks, sorry, having a bad week. I cant believe the school has withdrawn dds place. That was one of the reasons for working there in the first place.

lucy5 Wed 26-Jan-05 22:57:30

its nearly 12 here and dd just woken up, so I better go to bed. Thanks for the support, no doubt, ill be back for a moan another day.

marinda Wed 26-Jan-05 23:00:18

Lucy - next time she's ill - say YOU are ill and P off - the's what I do and they like it or lump it - I don't specify the illness either - I'm just bold as brass - probably get sacked soon !!!!!

PuffTheMagicDragon Wed 26-Jan-05 23:00:26

night lucy5 xxx

reindeer Thu 27-Jan-05 12:14:31

I was thinking of eventually going back to work as a classroom assistant.Do you think they get dragged into class/staffroom politics or are they generally left out of it? I don't think I could be bothered with all of that!

wild Thu 27-Jan-05 12:45:22

lucy I do symapathise
I am ft working mum too doing it for the money rather than the satisfaction
What I wonder is, if there is anyone else like you hiding their true feelings under an inane grin? do you think if you showed a bit of polite irreverence it might flush them out? We spend a long time in really 'daft' meetings, but I know I am not the only one who sees the absurdity - minority yes but not alone

iota Thu 27-Jan-05 12:58:08

lucy -can't you just excuse yourself from the meeting - say 'sorry but I have to go' and get up and leave? I would - in fact I often had to do it when I was a working mum

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