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Work-mate gripes

(10 Posts)
crystaltips Fri 15-Nov-02 17:16:48

I have just returned to work after a 5 year break and really enjoy my work. What I do is not earth-shattering but I wanted to put myself back in the workplace gently. I work mornings so that I can collect my kids from school - so the type of job that I can do is rather limited.

My problem is the people that I work with. Don't get me wrong - they are great guys - but it's their attitude towards me that makes me feel uneasy.

What they see is a middle aged mother returning to work and "playing at jobs". They cannot understand that I want to work as I have a nice car and a new mobile phone and therefore I'm rolling in it and really don't need to work.

I get on with them OK and we have a laugh - but I don't feel that I should justify my decision. Truth is that we all need a little bit more money and yet they think I'm talking c**p.

How do I tell them to "back off" without seeming like a spoilt snotty cow?

I feel better after that rant !

sobernow Fri 15-Nov-02 18:11:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gillymac Fri 15-Nov-02 19:30:23

I had a simmilar experience when I worked in the police from some of my colleagues who were complete sexist pigs. When I went part-time after having my son I was met with comments about 'bl**dy part-timers' and 'women taking mens jobs.' Most of the time I just ignored it but one day after I had come in (v slightly late) after having to take my son to nursery because dh (who normally took him) had a doctor's appointment and was met with comments about part-timers being even more part-time than usual, I completely lost it and told them exactly what I thought of the lot of them in no uncertain terms. It certainly shut them up - well, for a while anyway.
I think what I'm trying to say is that maybe it would be worth telling them to "back off" anyway and to hell with whether they think you're a spoilt, snotty cow. They probably won't think any worse of you and anyway, to put it bluntly, what business is it of theirs why you work.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Tortington Fri 15-Nov-02 20:04:05

i think sober now has put it perfectly, what better than to subtly say "yeah am loaded but i dont want to brag cos your not" wow that just fantastic! better to feign coyness than to be ashamed or feel bullied!

soothepoo Mon 18-Nov-02 09:18:14

What I find difficult to understand is that most of the men who make these comments will have wives and children themselves - would they want someone to talk to their wife like that?

SUBRINA Tue 19-Nov-02 13:00:47

Tell them of course you need to work - you certainly don't do it for the company - if you did you wouldn't be there.

Noisy Tue 19-Nov-02 13:32:51


I fully understand how you feel. One of the hardest transitions I have ever made was going from full time to part time employment.

I come up against it all the time and I work for
a 'good' company compared to some I have heard about. People's attitude's seem to change towards'part-time' employees.

Hope things get better for you, whatever you decide to do (outburst or grit your teeth)
At all costs, don't let them grind you down!
Keep smiling and stuff em! cos you are probably better than them anyway AND some of them will be in your choes one day - what goes around comes around!!

Let us know how you get on.

Tillysmummy Tue 19-Nov-02 13:42:55

Crystaltips I think you shouldn't lower yourself to their level and without being snotty you should tell them that it really isn't any of their business, you can say it in a jokey way like "what would you know about my personal circumstances and come to think of it, what business is it of yours !" - You don't need to justify yourself to anyone and they're obviously just jealous. Rise above it if you can..

Bozza Tue 19-Nov-02 13:59:25

I used to work full-time and returned 3 days a week after maternity leave. I got sick of the "I wish I only worked 3 days" comments and took to suggesting that the bloke in question requested a reduction in hours from HR.

Of course I like only working 3 days but I wish I was paid for 5 days

pamina Tue 19-Nov-02 14:15:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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