I think im maybe asking too much...what do you think?

[ScruffyTeddy]

Ok, ive been having some work issues recently. I dont think it can be resolved, largely due to the company as a whole when it comes to the workload, a couple of niggles with two individuals for very different reasons. If I even tried, im sure I would look like a troublemaker.

I said I would never do this again for the sake of a job, its made me ill once already. I have decided to leave before it gets any worse. I have to have another job before I leave, as a single mum my only other option will be benefit, which I dont want to do and cant afford to now.

Ive been looking and cant find a single thing. 40 hours for me is virtually impossible unless it was in my immediate town for a couple of reasons:

In september dd will be attending a good school (the one ds currently attends as our local one is rough). Ds will be attending a secondary closer to us but his start time is 10 mins earlier than dd's and finish times respectively. That should be ok as grandad has offered to drop them off and collect them. (If for any reason he couldn't do this anymore I would be in it..but Im trying not to think about that).

The earliest I can start is 9.30 even with help. I cant drive so have to rely on public transport unless it was really local. Because I live in an awkward place it normally takes two buses to get anywhere and an hour's travel, walking, it still takes an hour.

I feel overwhelmed. There's just nothing. Ive been looking for weeks, I looked for months when I was made redundant so I know the struggle I could face here. Im office based at the mo and happy to do something else as long as it doesn't involve standing all day because physically my back wont allow it. (so that pretty much rules out any retail jobs).

I dont want a responsible, stressful job. I cant handle it, I think that has been proven. Im happy to do bog standard admin, or anything else that pays. Moving around is no problem, its standing around I cant do.

Heck where do I start?

[ScruffyTeddy]

Dont make this go in unanswered threads ladies!!

[karen999]

Well, what is there locally? Shops, offices etc?

[branflake81]

The way I see it you have a number of options:

1. Try and negotiate flexible hours with your employer
   
   
2. Teach your secondary school son how to get to and from school on the bus so he won't require being picked up
   
   
3. Learn to drive (if you time it right you could arrange your lessons around your commitments, ie arrange to finish the lesson at a certain time and place to pick up your child etc)
   
   
4. Look for a job locally. If you're not bothered what you do, I am sure you can find something within walking distance?

[alfiesbabe]

TBH I think you maybe need to rethink your starting point. The situation you describe is fairly commonplace for all working parents - whether single or partnered. My DH and I both teach (not in the school our dcs attend) and we have to be in work by 8 am. Neither of us is home much before 5.30/6 and that's on a good day.
While your dcs are young enough to need care, it's a case of finding a CM, before/after school club or combination of both. (Though it sounds as if you're luckier than most if you have parental help with drop off and pick up). At least the cost factor is a lot less than when they're pre-school.
Once they're a bit older, then it's a more complex business of getting them to walk/meet up with friends/use public transport or any combination of the above! Not easy - but that's the reality for any working parent.

[ScruffyTeddy]

Thanks for ideas. The reason I cant start until 9.30am is because any time before our normal setting off time I wouldn't be able to get the kids dropped off at school by grandparents.

So it would involve taking them myself. No breakfast club at either school so I would have to find two childminders (schools in opposite directions)(absolutely no way that ds will be able to get himself to school in the near future, he's just not capable). Say I needed to start work at 8am (which most of the jobs i've looked at stipulate). Most of the jobs are more or less on the same estate im working on now so an hour's travel.

So to get to work I need to have both kids dropped off by 7am. That would mean going out of the house at 6am, (getting us all up at 5am), say 15 minute walk to drop ds off, then 25 min walk to drop dd off (no bus direct, two buses plus walk to stops and waiting would probably take even longer). I also dont know of any childminder who will work before 7am.

So then if i finish at 5pm (again, the finish time most employers stipulate) I wont get home until 6pm. Afterschool childcare isnt a problem. But by then I will already have been up for 13 hours, and have a house to clean up when I get back, things to do and kids to look after.

I would give myself a week of coping with that!

Being able to drive is obviously the answer and even then, I dont know how I would ever afford a car.

I just cant get my head around this at all!

[alfiesbabe]

DH and I set up a before/after school club at the primary school our kids went to because there were no other options. We lived in the kind of village where a lot of mums had grandparents still living locally so there wasnt much of a need for childcare for most people.
It was a huge amount of work! Setting up a committee, Applying for funding grants, advertising and appointing play leaders, all the health and safety stuff.... I wouldnt do it again!!!
I think the reality is that if you are a working parent, life is not easy. There is no ideal job that fits around exactly what you want - and if there was, it would pay shit money!!
Having been a WOHM for many years, the conclusion I've come to is that you just have to take a long term view.... being in work will improve your self esteem and make you feel you're contributing to society, and will also help your dcs to grow up with aspirations.

[ScruffyTeddy]

Im already in work alfiesbabe, I just cant stand my job!

Most of the offices here start at 8.00am and I need at least 30 hours or I just cant afford it, it rules a lot of jobs out. looks like im stuck where I am for a while!