Struggling with return to work creeping up

[FtmNov22]

Due to the pandemic I've only ever left my baby for a few hours at a time. I'm due to go back to work in july (baby will be 8 months) and it's been getting me really down and I've noticed my anxiety day to day has been worse. I've done a few training things at work which have only been a few hours and have fit around babys schedule meaning hes asleep most the time I'm away so I dont feel so guilty leaving him. The other day however it clashed with a pump session (I exclusively pump/express milk for my baby) I made my manager aware before and he said not a problem then when it come to the day nothing was in place for me to pump and my manager popped to the shop when it come to my pump time and didn't make any of the team aware of my needs. I ended up just finding somewhere private at work and locking myself in a room to pump, not telling anyone where I went. This has made me even more anxious about returning to work. Today theres a 'mandatory' training for all staff which apparently has been mentioned in the work group chat a few times but the first time I saw about it was on monday, I said that its difficult to get childcare with the fact were still in a pandemic and baby does not start nursery untill the end of June. One of my managers said to bring baby along with me but I feel aqword just rocking up to work with my baby. I feel like just handing my notice into work as I don't feel supported in any form to return to work

[XYZXYZ]

Didn't want to read and dash, I don't have any real advice but I totally understand how you feel my DS will be 9 months when I go back to work. Or younger depending if I get another job that I have applied for.

I have been doing kit days with my current employer and I exclusively express too. It's hard. There's nothing in place for me either, I end up expressing in my car before I start my kit day and then again after I have finish. Currently I stay for the minimum hours required 3hrs. Which slots in perfectly with my pumping sessions. It's not ideal to express in my car but I make it work.