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Returning for long shifts

(15 Posts)
bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:27:28

Hello
I am really dreading going back to work January (baby will be 10.5 months old) . I work full time but it's over 3 days .. as I do 12.5 shifts. Has anyone done this with a young baby ? I will have to use a nursery for 2 of the days and then I am hoping my manager agrees to me working a Saturday or Sunday and my partner can look after baby.

I will have to drop baby off at nursery at 715 as my partner leaves for work even earlier and the nursery isn't open .. I don't finish until 2015 so won't Even be able to pick him up . Partner will collect at 530. So for 3 days of the week I won't really see baby and I'm worried I won't be able to do such long shifts. I am very very tired and don't feel like I have recovered from the birth even , we had a rocky start to breastfeeding and spent months stressed it's only recently that I have felt better and able to enjoy my maternity leave . I still feel like I am experiencing anxiety. My job is demanding fast paced within a senior healthcare role. Will I cope going back and leaving him?

I should add we cannot survive on partners income ( I earn more) and o do want to work but not sure if I should ask for part time grin

crosser62 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:35:34

I did it.
It was very hard but you kind of get into s good routine and actually thoroughly enjoy your days off with your baby.

The spanner in the works comes when little one is poorly/teething/regression with sleeping, nursery won’t take them so you need good back up if they are ill.
You have to power through a 12 hour shift on 2 hours sleep as I do frequently.
I feel like I’m dying some days I’m so so tired.

It’s a lovely thing though coming home from your 12 hours straight into babies room seeing them snug and cosy fast asleep, it’s a gorgeous moment.
It kind of works out somehow. Not easy though and not forever.

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:43:06

Thank you for the reply , did you contemplate asking to do shorter shifts ? Not sure if that would be worse for me as would need to use nursery more days. I haven't left baby yet , I only left him with his dad for 2 hours for hairdresser. MIL offers but I am so reluctant at anyone else getting him down for naps and feeding him ( he is on formula now ) so I don't know what the big deal is . Maybe it's the anxiety . I really need some me time
Or couple time but can't bring myself to

crosser62 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:50:59

I couldn’t afford shorter shifts as it meant more childcare costs.

What you describe is very much how I felt about leaving my baby. I only managed it gradually starting with leaving him with mil while I went and did a food shop, also had to do KIT days and these helped to gauge how I would cope.
When I got into the swing of it I was far more settled and much less anxious about leaving him.
My mil was very understanding and tolerated my weirdness well.
I wrote down his routine, how I settled him for naps, time of feeds etc even down to which bob he wore.
It helped me though.

crosser62 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:52:00

Bib

crosser62 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:53:53

Also I did negotiate working a Saturday or Sunday and as these are the shit shifts for most I was granted that no problem. This meant dh had our son one day s week to himself which they both loved. Again it means not shelling out for childcare costs plus numerous pictures from dh through the day got me through.

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:56:39

Yes we can only afford the 2 or 3 days max. I have always done long days except for when I worked in outpatients and I hated it, thought I would get my evenings back but it just felt as tiring as the long days.

We are hit and miss with routine sometimes he will have 1 hour in morning and 2 in afternoon or will switch it around .. I wish I could get him napping same times and then maybe I would feel more confident to leave him but at the moment I very much have to look for tired signs eye rubbing yawn etc as sometimes he can do 2 hours or 3 hours between naps I still rock him to sleep too. Hopefully if I can get more solid predictable routine it would help . Just hard when he wakes up from nap early for example and the whole day is out .

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 09:58:15

Ahh yes that's what I am hoping that they agree to Saturday or Sunday and then at least I know he is at home with his dad and I will have photos smile. MIL can have him 1 day but nursery minimum said 2 days so not sure whether to just use nursery and see if work will give me 3 set shifts a week ( very unlikely as they want full flexibility over 7 days )

crosser62 Tue 24-Sep-19 10:02:28

Set shifts are absolute key.
I negotiated and now do 2 long days a week and 2 night shifts a week, mine are a bit older now but certainly when they were tiny I negotiated set shifts.
The NHS are apparently “family friendly” in reality they are not.
If you have a good and understanding manager you may be on a winner.
They are just glad to have numbers on the rota and you will be a sure fire number on a rota.
Have you had any KIT days or met with your manager yet?

Chocolatemouse84 Tue 24-Sep-19 10:05:10

Could you consider nights? I switched from days to 3 long nights when my babies were born, it's still 12 hour shifts but I'd be with them until teatime the first night, then grab a couple of hours nap, nursery whilst I sleep the next days then get up at lunch on my last night.I'd also still be available for bed time routine so I found on the whole it was a way of working my hours but getting more time at home (although sleep massively gets sacrificed!) It's tiring but coming up to high school now, when I'll look at getting a day job.

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 10:07:56

I work in private healthcare now sadly I think they are worse..
met with manager and orignally i discussed that partner may compress his hours in which case i am available every day bar monday/tuesday, however we both realised we need to be working full time and i want more of a routine for baby anyway. i have some training this week one hour long, am trying to organise KIT day for oct, the last person who had maternity leave didnt do any KIT days and its a new manager so she isnt familiar with the process.. she doesnt have children and seems to lack any understanding of what is involved in getting childcare as she previously said she thought mums would use family and still be available any of the 7 days, sadly manager above her is even worse and favours pets to children.

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 10:09:31

yes forgot to say we have to do nights too... usually one set a month, they like a mix reluctant to give anyone perm nights even people who have requested it before, i think i need a new job but it pays well for what it is really and is very close to home

bubs80 Tue 24-Sep-19 10:13:38

when i say senior role.. its more an autonomous role where you are working alone alot ie, at night so its not like i have a say on my shifts but am giving a lot of responsiblity same working conditions as nhs really.

Welshy545 Tue 24-Sep-19 21:35:09

I'm going back in two months to the same shifts! My DD will be 10 months. I'm dreading it so much, going to try split shifts as much as they will allow as if I do 3 days or night shifts in a row I feel I will never see her! I work in a busy admission ward and also worrying about coping with the workload and pressure of that job on little sleep as she is also not a good sleeper. I cant go part time, we need the cash!

Teachermaths Tue 24-Sep-19 21:39:27

Honestly OP you will be fine.

Get set shifts and cast iron childcare. Leave ds more before you go back so it's not a total shock to him.

I went back full time at 7.5 months and my kid was absolutely fine. I know teaching is over 5 days not 3 shifts but you'll get 4 other days with your baby. Lots of people would love this pattern and opportunity to spend time with their child. Look on the bright side.

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