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Back to work anxiety- tell me it will be okay!

(15 Posts)
Mamalicious89 Sat 17-Aug-19 22:15:41

I start back to work on Monday after ten months with my beautiful daughter. I had a bumpy start with post natal anxiety and now feel
In a really happy place. I'm really gutted to be finishing mat leave and don't feel ready at all. Financially there is no option to postpone return to work. Need some success stories and words of wisdom to make me feel like I can do this. Help me mamas!

norbert23 Sat 17-Aug-19 22:30:54

It will be ok! You'll find parts of the old you again, drink a warm tea or coffee without microwaving it 3 times and go to the toilet alone 😂
Really, you'll be fine and so will your DD but I know it's hard to imagine right now x

Stuckforthefourthtime Sat 17-Aug-19 22:35:49

I've gone back 4 times and cried buckets each time. It is still remarkable how soon you can get in the swing of it. When you come back, she'll be so happy to see you, and if she is out of the house all day, weekends will be extra fun as even crawling around her room will be a fun game after a week of less time at home. You'll be contributing to her life too by being financially secure and a great role model. Good luck, wear nice clothes that you couldn't wear with a baby (but don't get dressed until the last moment due to grubby fingers), buy yourself something nice like.a new pen, shoes, work mug or a photo frame for your desk to give you that 'back to school' feeling, and if you've been breastfeeding, wear breastpads in case you leak during the day! You'll do a great job.

Mamalicious89 Sat 17-Aug-19 23:21:37

Thank you @norbert23 & @Stuckforthefourthtime really appreciate the kind words of advice. I'm still on the crying buckets stage but hopefully will get to where you both describe soon 💕

firsttimemummy11 Sat 17-Aug-19 23:35:59

I feel like I wrote this as I felt exactly the same as you! I had an awful start and recovery, and also suffered post natal anxiety! And in all honestly going back to work was not as bad as I expected, of course it's tough, but it soon becomes the new norm and you learn to adjust... I miss my boy all day and can't wait to see see him at the end of each day... but I just keep telling myself I'm working for a good life for him... good luck mama, you can do this xx

Mamalicious89 Sun 18-Aug-19 16:16:13

@firsttimemummy11 it's nice to know there are other mummies out there with similar experiences to me! Thanks for the words of encouragement, I'm trying to stay positive xx

PumpkinPie2016 Tue 20-Aug-19 15:18:44

How did your first day back go?

I returned full time when my son was 10 months old. It was hard at first - getting back into it and because he went to nursery, he got lots of the usual autumn/winter bugs.

We did settle into it pretty quickly though and it got easier. It was nice seeing different adults, drinking a bit cup of tea and eating lunch without having to put it down to do something else!

My son is 5 now and about to go into Y1 at school - I'm still full time and have had two promotions. Honestly, it's great - he loves school and his friends there and I enjoy using my brain! DH is semi retired now so around for DS to take him/pick him up from school which helps loads. There are tough days/weeks when work is really busy/we have loads on at home/it's deepest, darkest January etc. But overall, I enjoy it and I have no regrets about working.

Good luck - I hope it's going well for you so far flowers

Mamalicious89 Wed 21-Aug-19 19:31:42

@PumpkinPie2016 thanks for sharing your story, good to know I'm not alone. I survived my first days. Cried a bit and so did my baba but it's getting a bit better each day.
Thanks for all the support ladies xx

PleaseGoogleIt Wed 21-Aug-19 19:46:56

Seriously, it will be fine. It will be better than fine.

I cried every day for 6 weeks on the lead up to my return. It took an hour of being at work to realise how much I missed not being completely dependent upon - I could eat, drink, toilet when I wanted and actually use my brain and speak to adults about stuff other than my child.

Routine is probably the biggest adjustment but you'll settle in no time.

LollyBmummy3 Sun 25-Aug-19 08:21:44

Hi mama89 how is it going? I’m where you were last week! I’m back at work tomorrow after 11 months with my gorgeous baby! I’m so nervous and sad to be leaving him, and to make matters worse I’m starting somewhere new! It’s the same job but a better working pattern to suit my son. Been up since 4am stressing about it!!!😬😴😬

Mamalicious89 Sun 25-Aug-19 09:34:36

Hi @LollyBmummy3 I feel for you! I'm not going to flower it up- it's tough and I still feel a bit lousy about it all. HOWEVER, when I was actually at work I was so busy that I just had to trust everything was okay and it went really quickly. This week doesn't feel as daunting as last so I can assume it's going to get easier and easier. I took the advice of the other lovely mums on this post too and it helped. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. You can do it mumma! Xxx

67oonkin Mon 26-Aug-19 00:13:38

I came on to write a similar post. This week is my final week of maternity leave and I feel sick at the thought of going back after only 9 months. Felt like it would be a lifetime but it’s gone by so quick. I had a really crappy pregnancy and a really crappy start so I only now feel like I’m getting to enjoy my son. My husband is taking the next 3 months off on shared parental which I’m so happy he gets, but I really wish I could have those extra months. How are you feeling now after being back a week? I feel like I’m going to get to work and start crying.

Mamalicious89 Mon 26-Aug-19 20:02:27

@67oonkin it's getting easier. Today I only cried in the car for about ten mins but none the rest of the day. The baby settled so much better today and had a great day at childcare. Slowly we are both adapting. You will too. It's not nice but it gets better. I've enjoyed using my brain in a different way too. Best of luck, it will be hard but it gets easier. Sending lots of love. Xxx

LollyBeebee123 Tue 01-Oct-19 11:12:21

Thanks mamalicious89 for replying. I was so super anxious about it and now one month on it feels ok. I still miss him lots but we have lovely days together when I’m off. Hope it’s all going well for you too! 💕

ShyAmy333 Sat 19-Oct-19 09:21:57

a lot depends on your colleagues. I transitioned to female two years ago and a year before that I took 2 weeks off and then went back as Amy which gave time for them to be briefed.
First morning back I was so nervous I must have tried 10 outfits on and could hardly walk there tbh. But two colleagues met me and we went in everyone clapped and my desk had flowers on and a new girl banner.
Colleagues couldn't have been nicer and I settled in so quck.

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