Advanced search

I Cant Decide What To Do...

(2 Posts)
VixenAndCub Wed 19-Jun-19 22:10:22

Hi there, I'm a new Mum to my son whos just turned 2 months old. My maternity leave full-pay ends in August. I can extend it, and they're going to need to know if I am or not very soon. So I need to decide what to do in the long run.

I work in a call centre for a bank and bring home about £1'200 a month. My partner's temporary contract has expired as the building has closed and the company who hired him have yet to offer anything else - so he's currently claiming Universal Credit.

It's now down to me whether to go back to work or not and I really can't decide.

On the one hand:
If I became a stay-at-home-Mum I have all the time in the world with my boy. I won't miss on any of his firsts and I won't have to juggle time with him and time with the job. I'll be there when he needs me. I won't be stressed having to run around to get to work/hurry back home. I won't have to worry about not being able to go anywhere because of work. I can also take my boy out whenever and not have to rely on days off - and not have to worry about being too tired on those days off.

On the other hand:
I'll have the finance to get the things he needs/wants. I'll be able to have a break with adult conversation. I won't need to rely on benefits. I'll have steady income that wont change.

I can't stand my job. I get very cruel customers very frequently and it destroys my self esteem. It also doesnt help that the team I work with are just as cruel as the customers and make me feel very awkward and lonely in work. I fear my mental health will suffer again, as it has done since starting the job over a year ago. I've already been off on sick for major depression because of how they job treats me.

But will I be any better off at home? I'd feel like I'd let my parents down as they were quite proud of my bank job - even if it was just a call centre job. They always seem to be money orientated so I feel they'll be angry if I became a 'dole-dosser'. Yet, my Mum did the same thing (left her factory job to raise me and my brother). But perhaps she wants better for me/her grandson. Would people view me as lazy?

If I did leave my job it wouldn't be permanent. I'd like to go back to a job - even if its part time - when my son starts school. I've always worked since I finished my education (so worked for 5 years in different roles) so not having a job makes me feel bad. And probably get something that won't destroy me mentally. I'd like to use those couple of years better-ing myself. Doing courses, leaning how to drive etc. But can I afford to do all that without a job...

I've done quick math, and UC would give us just over £1'100 for a month. Which is only a little under what I already bring home. We could survive on it if we're strict. But then it may result in no decent presents for birthdays/Christmas.

What is more important? Time with my son, or the money to treat him?
I guess I'll feel guilty either way/I'll be judged no matter which I choose. I just want to hear from other parents who have had a similar issue and what they did about it.

OP’s posts: |
Babyroobs Thu 20-Jun-19 22:45:17

I think Universal credit will expect one of you to be working full time, if your partner is out of work and you have a job then I think they would expect you to go back to it !

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in