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Overwhelmed working mum

(10 Posts)
Pumba3 Tue 09-Apr-19 08:14:06

Hi ladies, I’ll try to keep this brief as I know weveryone is busy. I’m a working mum of 4 small children and I am drowning. My children are aged between 2 and 8 yrs of age and I officially work 3 days per week for a busy consultancy firm. My issues at the minute are the fact that my company is very inflexible due to the fact that the client takes priority and if they want something from you it pretty much needs to happen. Secondly, whilst my husband takes the kids to school, I get up and get all of them fed, washed and dressed I usually miss breakfast and am rushing out the door brushing my hair. I do pick up so if I’m late out of work it’s a mad dash to do pick up plus there is the homework, dinner bath and bed (husband works long hours so it’s done to me). The days I don’t work I’m cramming in dentist appts, speech therapy etc etc etc. Im so overwhelmed by it all I feel like I’m drowning, the stress is making me a horrid person to be around and no-one is getting the best of me. My husband is at best unsympathetic but as he is a workaholic he expects a certain level of “get on with it”, but it’s not about him. Does anyone else struggle with the sheer enormity of their responsibilities and does anyone else spend their days wishing their life away?!

OP’s posts: |
Newmumma83 Tue 09-Apr-19 08:28:31

Easy for your husband he is t getting pulled 5 ways, you are feeling all of that.

Why does he not get kids ready on the days he takes them to school ... is there a task that prevents that ? X x

GreenTulips Tue 09-Apr-19 08:36:56

You need a plan!
First allocate one of the morning for you, do something you enjoy doesn’t matter if it’s tv reading or coffee!!

You need down time and something to recharge and look forward to

Don’t be a martyr nobody will thank you for it

Pumba3 Tue 09-Apr-19 08:37:59

Hi Newmumma 83 , if I was totally honest, I should just leave him to it but my children would be the ones to suffer. He is like a 5th kid, so the kids go to school without coats or without teeth being brushed. Ibe tried to walk away before but I end up fretting about them at work. Xx

OP’s posts: |
Llareggub Tue 09-Apr-19 08:40:58

I'm a single parent, work full time in a busy job. Your husband sounds useless but then you let him.

My children take responsibility for their own stuff in the morning. Can you work on this with them during the evening?

TipseyTorvey Tue 09-Apr-19 08:42:47

Hi Pumba, ft working mother of just 2 here so I have some understanding of your situation but Four kids! Wow that sounds especially exhausting and stressful. I would never normally suggest this as I'm very supportive working mothers in the sense that some of us just can't stay at home or mortgage demands it etc, however with four kids that young maybe you could consider stopping work till the youngest is a bit older and easier? It all just sounds so hard I'm not surprised you're losing it. Alternatively I can only suggest a range of cheats like dressing the kids in school clothes for bed, cereal bars for breakfast, pre pack absolutely everything the night before actually in the car, let up a lot on the state of the house, use Famcal or similar to get organised and if possible get a cleaner (not sure if finances would allow short term?).

Newmumma83 Tue 09-Apr-19 10:01:09

Then you need to talk to your husband about not being a kid, are you sure he just doesn’t expect you to step in?

I would go through the tick list with him of what needs doing check he understands why they need a coat ( sounds basic but things stick in heads better if they know why ) and let him crack on ... it’s easuer said than done but you are running yourself into the ground ... if you empower him to do it ... it may be rough the first couple
Of times but it will get better ... as he will
Learn the warmer weather is coming too as a plus 🤞

Pumba3 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:54:11

Thank you ladies, a step back is needed I think. I want to work but maybe I need to step off for a while or at least take a less demanding role. Xx

OP’s posts: |
Easilyflattered Tue 16-Apr-19 12:00:45

I put my husband on modern day quartermaster duty. He likes cooking and eating so I've given him all cooking and shopping responsibility. If he doesn't order from Tesco he doesn't eat so somehow he manages to remember it. I leave scribbled notes for non food items to be added on.

Your husband needs to do more, if he won't then just start paying people to help, and if he realises that it leaves less money for holidays, cars, nice things he might wake up.

nikosmum2010 Tue 16-Apr-19 18:00:17

I have 3 kids 3-8years and work full time, definitely get your husband to get the kids ready and into school on the 3 days you are at work. Those are the most stressful.

Also work on encouraging the older kids to get themselves ready i.e my 6 and 8 year old can bath, get dressed independently.

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