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Manager has the hump

(14 Posts)
Ladyk79 Tue 12-Mar-19 12:36:31

Hi all,

I’m currently on mat leave due to return back 1st April, our office manager has recently emailed my personal email address asking if I would like to come and work 10 days before my return? Outline there is no obligation. (I heard today that he has the hump because I have not replied back to him). Firstly both my lo and mum are poorly and secondly it’s my personal email I can read them as and when I wish? Okay it has been a week but I am all over the place caring for these two, arranging lo’s Settling in at nursery and mentally preparing myself for my return to work. My anxiety is now through the roof as I feel I have done something wrong by not replying back to his request ASAP. Any words of advise?

HappyHattie Tue 12-Mar-19 12:41:29

You don’t have to do the KIT days (VU for him to get the hump over that- but not replying at all is pretty rude.

Do you want to return to a decent atmosphere/ environment?

How long does it take to type - no thanks!

Theromanempire Tue 12-Mar-19 12:43:27

As you said, there is no obligation to do the Keeping In Touch days s so why would you not have been able to have sent a quick reply to say that you did not wish to do these (you didn't even need to give any reasons for saying no). The manager may be trying to plan work etc and therefore by not replying, they will struggle to plan as they have no idea whether you will be in work between now and 1 April and presumably don't want it sprung on them at the last minute.

Personally, I think a reply would have been courteous and I can see why they might be upset.

Crazycrazylady Tue 12-Mar-19 12:44:24

I might be in the minority but think that it wAs rude of you not to reply at all. It would have taken 10 seconds to reply saying that it doesn't work for you etc.

Alienspaceship Tue 12-Mar-19 12:45:49

Your manager has quite rightly asked you if you would like to work any keeping in touch days. It would be professional to reply in a timely way. No need for drama.

WeShouldOpenABar Tue 12-Mar-19 12:46:53

I think you've over thought it at this point and you don't need the worry. Just send a breezy email saying just saw this sorry, no can't come back early as I've got my final days all planned out

Ladyk79 Tue 12-Mar-19 12:50:50

Thanks all for your replies, I understand I may be in the wrong for not replying back straight away but like I said I don’t look at my personal emails daily and even less since I have been looking after a sick lo and sick Mum. I have replied back advising I am unable to do any kit days in the next two weeks. I just felt it was a bit harsh to walk around with the hump. But thanks for your comments I havhope taken them on board.

MsSquiz Tue 12-Mar-19 13:09:44

It's fine not to look at your personal emails daily, but you have read it, so I don't understand why you wouldn't just have replied to say that an earlier than planned return to work wouldn't be possible and you will see him on X date.

BlingLoving Tue 12-Mar-19 13:14:06

Looks like you've conceded you should have replied. There's a slightly odd attitude that's developed whereby women on maternity leave forget that they do still have obligations to their employers. The focus has been so much on ensuring employers don't abuse women, that people forget it works both ways.

My boss asked me at 4pm to join a call at 5pm when my baby was 4 weeks old. THAT was taking the piss. Sending an email asking if, with no obligation, you'd like to come back a bit early, is not.

Ladyk79 Tue 12-Mar-19 13:24:00

No I hadn’t read it, it was when a colleague mentioned it to me earlier today that I logged onto my email and saw it. Sorry I should have clearer in my original post.

SandAndSea Tue 12-Mar-19 13:33:15

I would reply asap to prevent any more bad feeling. Perhaps something like:

"Dear xxxx,
So sorry for the delayed reply. I don't often check my personal emails and have been tied up due to xxxx (baby's name) being ill recently. I really appreciate you thinking of me but unfortunately, I won't be able to come in until **. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Best regards, OP"

SandAndSea Tue 12-Mar-19 13:35:33

Just to add that I know almost nothing about maternity leave rules.

LeesPostersAreInFrames Tue 12-Mar-19 13:38:28

So a third party told you he was walking around with the hump? Ignore them. You don't actually know if he does have the hump or if 3rd party was lying or exaggerating.

Ladyk79 Tue 12-Mar-19 13:44:30

Thanks all, so basically third party has told me this as soon as they did I logged into my email and replied asap (hadn’t seen the email prior to this) it’s just been playing in my mind since and making me feel anxious because I didn’t reply back within a day or so. That’s all.

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