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Shock pregnancy on my second maternity leave, due my third child 🙈🙄

(10 Posts)
spongebob111 Wed 30-Jan-19 19:21:40

Hi,

I think I'm here for some words of comfort.

I'm probably every manager and business owners worst nightmare. I'm due my third child in less than three years. I've worked at my work place for four years and already had two maternity leaves back to back and this time I'm really worried to tell them about this one. Literally today I've hit the 25weeks pregnant.

I didn't find out I was pregnant till around 16 weeks and then I cried all day most days. Probably because I've been suffering with severe anxiety and really did not want anymore children just now due to my little boy who was unplanned, although very very very loved. My son suffers cmpa and reflux which has been so hard to deal with but fortunately my partner is amazing AND self employed.

How do I tell my new manager? Is a email ok? I feel so scared about it... I'm currently undergoing CBT as I opened up to my new midwife who put me in touch... sometimes I cant do this school run. I was due back to work the 31st of Jan but I've booked two months holiday (i work part time and rarely take holiday so its saved up) wo I'm die back the end of March and due my baby in may.

I guess I'm waffling. I know i should get it out of the way and that will help me but i just cant..... do i get my partner to do it? But that feels cowardly and I'm thi king the manager will thi k bad of me still.

Please offer me some helpful advice

Amy326 Wed 30-Jan-19 19:34:36

If it was me I would probably do it by email and I would explain that it was unplanned and you didn’t find out until you were into the second trimester and it has been a shock and taken some time to absorb the news. You don’t really have to say all that but I would feel the need to so that they knew I didn’t plan this and wasn’t trying to take the p*ss I think.... you also need to find out what you’re entitled to pay-wise and sort out how long you will come back for before going off again - will they even want you to come back if they’ve got someone covering your post? They may try to keep them on rather than lose them for the sake of a month or so. Good luck, I’m sure it will be fine and you’ll probably feel better once it’s over with!

3out Wed 30-Jan-19 19:36:34

So sorry you’re having such a stressful time. I’ve had a child with reflux, it was the most horrible time and left me very traumatised, so I can partly appreciate how you feel. I also had three children under 3 years old. I found out I was pregnant whilst on maternity leave. It’s all a bit cloudy now, but if I remember rightly I informed my manager by email (my 20 week scan was on my first day back after holidays following maternity leave).
If you are having a good day and are able, I’d perhaps see your manager face to face if possible, but if tomorrow isn’t a good day then I’d send an email. Don’t put it off longer because that will only cause you more anxiety.

Do you hope to return to work after this maternity leave? I only ask after seeing another post recently about a poster worrying about paying back mat pay as they couldn’t go back to work as planned, and I know that childcare is so expensive that working isn’t an option for some.

Hope you’re ok flowers

SouthernComforts Wed 30-Jan-19 19:38:45

The thought of childcare x 3 makes my eyes water. Will you go back to work? Will you earn enough in the qualifying weeks to get a 3rd round of SMP?

strawberryredhead Wed 30-Jan-19 19:41:29

You wouldn’t want to take a career break for two or three years? Childcare expenses would be crazy with three little ones. Sending you best wishes flowers

spongebob111 Wed 30-Jan-19 19:50:17

I'm simply a dementia care assistant. I work just because I love it rather than having to bring bread home. I do plan on returning, yes. I'm so shocked it's been very difficult but I will be fine and my partner will help out as much as he possibly can.

spongebob111 Wed 30-Jan-19 19:51:21

I dont need childcare because my partner finds out my shifts and books his work around mine

Mayhemmumma Wed 30-Jan-19 19:54:35

Head up you've nothing to be ashamed of and your employer can not discriminate.

Actually having 3 kids in 3 years is probsbly far better for an employer as you will have one chunk out of employment then presumably return to continuous employment thereafter.

Your boss can judge away but it's her job to respond professionally.

And congratulations. It will be hard but also wonderful.

3out Wed 30-Jan-19 19:59:12

It’s lovely you enjoy your job, it’s very important, especially if you have anxiety.
Email your manager and get it over with. I’d do what Amy326 said.
You should be due mat pay because you’ll be receiving annual leave pay during your qualifying week (15 weeks before due date).

spongebob111 Thu 31-Jan-19 07:05:57

Thank you for your responses. I'm one of those people that seems to only have a chat with myself about things that are bothering me and that does me no favours. I'm going to bite the bullet and send my email today. Wish me luck confused

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