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Undue stress?

(14 Posts)
Blueeyes91 Tue 27-Nov-18 08:19:12

I need help. I've not slept more than a couple of hours a night for the past week or so. I'm now so tired I've bags under my eyes, I'm weepy and my eyes sting.

This started when my boss turned down my flexible working request for my return to work from maternity leave. I wanted to work from home an extra day a week and it was turned down. So as of January I go back to working 1.30 to 9.30pm. And will get to see my daughter in the morning when I wake her and take her to nursery. Then I'll see her at weekends... you can see why sleep is evading me?

My work has then sent me a new contract to sign where they've cut my holiday allowance and have a new clause that basically says they can have me doing overtime and I can't say no or get paid for it.

This is all getting to me now. I've spoken to ACAS and they've advised me what to do regarding my 'new contract' and I've done that. But it all feels like one thing after another. I'm still on maternity leave. Not due back until February and I'm dreading it! I should be having fun with my daughter and focusing on her, but how can I when my work are being the way they are.

I knew that there was a possibility they'd turn down my flexible working request. I just was naive and didn't think they would after they told me how supportive they would be when I come back to work. I don't feel supported by them at all!

OP’s posts: |
Petitprince Tue 27-Nov-18 08:25:11

Is there any way you could apply elsewhere?

Alwaysneedgin Tue 27-Nov-18 08:27:01

What time will you daughter go to nursery? Could she go in at lunch so you would have the mornings together? X

Blueeyes91 Tue 27-Nov-18 08:50:56

If I quit I have to pay back my maternity. And the latest drop off the nursery will let me do is 9am

OP’s posts: |
Alwaysneedgin Tue 27-Nov-18 08:52:23

It could be worth looking at alternative nurseries. Most near me have a morning and afternoon session at very least. X

SnuggyBuggy Tue 27-Nov-18 08:55:44

I'd start looking for another job

Petitprince Tue 27-Nov-18 16:47:02

Yes, you need a different nursery, and once you've fulfilled your maternity terms, a different job.

LadyLapsang Tue 27-Nov-18 21:33:46

So what was your working pattern / hours before MAT leave? You mention wanting to do another day working from home, does that mean you worked four days in the workplace and one at home? I think your main need is alternative childcare, it would seem madness to pack a baby off to childcare while you are at home all morning, much as if you worked until 6pm to pay for childcare until 10pm each evening. Have you thought of a nanny share or childminder?

LadyLapsang Tue 27-Nov-18 21:43:21

If you think of it from the baby's point of view, it's quite good. If you sort out your childcare, then she is with mum all morning, then is only in childcare for the afternoon which will include nap time and tea, before going home to bath, story and bed with your partner. It will be a difficult shift with a school age child.

Hubanmao Sun 02-Dec-18 09:19:31

Definitely look for other childcare. A childminder will be more flexible.
Also I’m assuming here but it sounds like your partner will be picking your dd up from nursery (I can’t imagine many day nurseries insisting on a 9am drop off and keeping children til gone 9.30 pm!)
So, from your dds point of view, with alternative childcare you could spend all morning with her, have lunch together, then she goes to childcare for the afternoon before being picked up. That sounds a great arrangement and she’ll be in childcare far less than many children whose parents work traditional hours (not that there’s anything wrong with being at nursery all day btw)
If it is your partner doing the pick up then actually it’s nice for them to have that 1:1 time.

Hubanmao Sun 02-Dec-18 11:28:26

Ps I would have reservations about a nursery being so inflexible anyway. Even if they need to charge for a whole day, it seems very unreasonable to insist on drop off by a specific time.

My own dc were at nursery 20 years ago, and although I had to pay for the whole day all year round, they never insisted that I had to drop them off for all day. If I was working for just an afternoon I’d keep them with me until I needed to drop them off

BackforGood Sun 02-Dec-18 11:44:41

Agree with most - you need to look for alternative childcare.
You will be with her every morning, then she does an afternoon in Nursery (or with a Childminder) and then is home with your partner in the early evening.

snowflakealert Sun 02-Dec-18 11:50:55

It seems to me like you could have a case for something like constructive dismissal, because they are going out of their way to make your working hours impossible and untenable.

Is it legal to force people to sign a new contract which cuts their holiday entitlement and demands that unpaid overtime is worked?

Hubanmao Sun 02-Dec-18 12:01:35

The new clauses about holiday entitlement and overtime - agree. However it sounds like the actual working hours are what the OP previously did, so they’re just expecting her to continue working those rather than agreeing to new ones

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