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Returned to work after several tears out-not coping!

(6 Posts)
starlightsky Sat 04-Nov-17 23:15:06

Hello all, I’ve just returned to work in a qualified role, after being out of this role for a number of years. I only practised in my role for under 2 years overall in a couple of different settings. I was bullied in my last role and left it to pursue a non qualified, less stressful job. A few years later I had a baby. I’ve been a stay at home mum for almost 5 years now.

As a family we have been struggling with money a bit so I decided to go back to work. I somehow managed to get a job in the qualified role. I must also add that I have had issues with anxiety and depression, mainly anxiety, on and off for a number of years.

I’m finding myself to be in a heightened state of anxiety once again. It’s extremely stressful. Just being in an office with lots of people is causing me stress. I don’t want to talk to people, I don’t feel like a team member and I don’t know what to talk about. Then to top it off I have to do my job. I’m so out of practise and feel so out of my depth. When I’m in work, I feel like I want to just escape, I could explode. I relax a bit more when I’m at home, but I’m really snappy and on edge. It’s not fun at all. I also feel trapped as I need the money at the moment and can’t afford to leave. This isn’t normal is it? Does anyone else feel like this? Thinking about going back to see my doctor, but not sure I want to take medication again.

starlightsky Sun 05-Nov-17 19:48:54

Years, not ‘tears!’

2017RedBlue Mon 06-Nov-17 11:00:32

Have you ever tried any corporate coaching?

You sound like you'd benefit from a really good coach.

And mindset coaching too. You need help to overcome your own internal fears. It sounds like your mind chatter is running your life and you're externalising all your fears - whether or not they are reality - you don't know but your mind is certainly telling you this and it's not helpful at all.

i would suggest you do need some help if you want to stay in the job. Coaching won't be cheap but it certainly can help and it's good to understand more about your mind for the long-term otherwise you self-sabotage all over the place.

You need to be able to break out of the patterns your past conditioning tells you will happen again.

Your past is not your future. xx

Ilovelampandchair Mon 06-Nov-17 11:49:03

How long have you been back? This is normal! I swear! Even with just going straight into a new job from a different one the first 6 months is always hell, feeling like an idiot, not knowing the processes and settling in. It's hard and I've a very robust and non-anxious character. So take heart and unless it's making you very unwell, don't make any decisions till you're about 6 months in. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions, rely on people, make alliances etc.

starlightsky Mon 06-Nov-17 18:44:59

I haven’t heard of corporate coaching, I will look it up. I am rather poor at the moment, however! It totally is mind chatter though, all rather negative.

Ilovelampandchair, been back about 7 weeks. I do ask questions etc, nobody seems to know much however! I feel as if that’s make it up as they go along. I realised today I shouldn’t even care as nobody seems to know what the hell they are doing!

Ilovelampandchair Mon 06-Nov-17 20:52:24

That's the spirit Starlight! You are probably right that nobody knows really what they're doing. I've seen that a lot in various companies.

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