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Goose vs Gander work schedules AIBU

(8 Posts)
Brumby10 Thu 28-Sep-17 11:03:32

My husband doesn't live in the UK because he works from Dubai and we see him whenever his schedule or leave allows it. He travels around the world a lot for work.
We decided to live in different countries for our DCs benefit. DS is almost finished school and will be starting uni here soon, DD is in Year 10.
DH has a course coming up next year that is very stressful and demanding. He has always gone on about how he will have to stay in a hotel for the duration of the course so that he can focus in peace and quiet. (Not that he lifts a finger around the house!) Then the opportunity came up for us to move and hey presto, he has a very quiet house to cope in. (Although he has told me he's noticed I'm gone because nothing gets cleaned up after him!)
Anyway, I've now been offered an amazing job, but have had to turn it down. Why? Well because I first have an 18 week course ahead of me. The training college is a 2 hour drive away. So my day would be leave home at 6:30am, course 8:30am - 4:30pm, drive 2 hours home again and get 2-3 hours studying done a night.
How would I as a single parent manage to run this household and take care of my kids and our dog, with a schedule that looks like that? When and IF I do pass the course (equally stressful and demanding as DHs) then the job is to work an hour or so away with slightly better hours.
I have no family here or friends I could lean on. In my opinion I'll be taking on way more than I can handle. This is the 2nd move I've done at my DHs deciding (gave up a fabulous career in home country to look after family) and over the years have done all the moves on my own.
He hasn't even been here to help. We've seen him twice (i.e.: 2 night-stops) in the 6 weeks we've been here. I'm exhausted and don't want to whine about what a struggle it's all been, but how does he expect me to cope?
Honestly, am I missing the plot? There are other job opportunities I'm looking at with much better hours.
DH is livid at me.

OP’s posts: |
martellandginger Thu 28-Sep-17 11:11:34

Pay someone to work 4-7. They can walk dog, cook dinner, be there for 14 year old, gen tidy up.

Ignore husband.

Your problems are solvable. good luck

Allthebestnamesareused Thu 28-Sep-17 11:36:14

I don't understand - your kids are in yr10 and 13 so old enough to be "latch key" kids. Many people don't get home from work until after 7 and do this.

You can hire a cleaner to do some of the household chores.

This would free up your time at home for your study.

Why is DH livid??

Brumby10 Thu 28-Sep-17 13:49:24

martellandginger My training cost £30k and the first penny I'll earn is when I start working in about May next year. We spent a small fortune moving here (2nd new country in 3 years) and so my DH doesn't think we can afford anything else. He wants me to "just do it all".
Allthebestnamesareused DH is livid because he can't see why I need help or why I have doubts about being able to cope.

OP’s posts: |
JenniferYellowHat1980 Thu 28-Sep-17 20:17:58

If he can afford a hotel you can afford help. I'd consider LTB then see what he can afford.

PragmaticWench Thu 28-Sep-17 20:28:53

This is a short-term problem, that will enhance your earning potential. If you want to do it then your DH should be supporting you, as you've supported him and the family, else what is the point of being with him?!

RB68 Thu 28-Sep-17 20:44:59

If this is official retraining I would try and make it work. Mostly because then you can leave his sorry arse.

Underparmummy Fri 29-Sep-17 11:59:30

He sounds like he thinks you're the maid!

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