Office politics

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

I don't know where to start with this one! I've been in my first ft role since dd (4)was born since last November. Previously I was in a pt job and relocated. My office has 3 women in it that are rather petty about everything. When I started I was dropping dd at preschool which sometimes made me a few minutes late. My boss was fine but they started making catty comments. I explained to them and they said I should move her into another preschool. My boss gave me time off when preschool was closed for the day and let me work it up. They then stopped asking me for break and lunch. I carried on going with them anyway then realised I had nothing in common with them and go on my own. They make bitchy comments and make digs at me and pass it off as 'banter'. I was early for work once and they asked me if I'd shit the bed. One of them started it again this morning saying you're not normally on time and having a dig so I lost it a bit and told her to change the record or I'd have to take it to hr and now she won't speak to me at all whenever I give her a task to do. My boss was there and also told her to stop. The other day I was talking to my boss about something and another one of them said in a really loud voice don't you ever stop bloody moaning. I'm just thinking should I just hand in my notice and temp or something because it's getting me down now. I used to try and see the funny side and take it as banter but a lot of it is really below the belt. And others in the office have said I shouldn't take it.

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

Sorry for context now dd is at school she can get there earlier so I'm not really late anymore unless there's loads of traffic and I always make it up. It's like they have it in their heads to keep on about it. To get at me.

[Katescurios]

If your boss is seeing it why are they not properly addressing it? You need to talk to your manager and explain that this is really affecting you now, you want them to arrange a mediation and that if it doesn't improve you'll be raising a grievance.

[BenLui]

You need to speak to your boss about this. He/she needs to deal with this.

Why resign a perfectly good job with out trying to sort it properly first?

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

My boss has spoken to them privately before and told them to stop. She got involved with both instances I've mentioned this week and defended me. The woman this morning said she felt the boss was siding with me. My boss went straightaway to speak to hr and they weren't in yet. She has had to leave early today but promised to sort it. She has a sick relative at the moment so has to keep going to hospital. Plus she's under loads of pressure with her job too. I feel quite bad already for landing her with this too. I've said I feel like handing in my notice and she said don't be silly I will sort it but she has had loads of meetings too.

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

And with the first instance this week I told my boss I'd give her a chance to speak with the woman and if it carried on I'd report her.

[BenLui]

I'm sorry your boss has a sick relative but this is a key part of her job.

You need to give her a little bit of time to sort it (a week?) and the. Tell her you are taking it up with HR

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

Thank you. It's just good to know I'm not overreacting. This woman this morning told me I take everything too seriously and too much to heart and I need a personality transplant. Then later the other two kept asking her if she was ok as if I'd attacked her! I've hardly said anything so this morning it just came out!

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

My boss spoke to them yesterday. The most gobby one apparently tried to say I say stuff to her when boss isn't there but she knew that was a load of crap. She told them if things don't improve she would involve hr. So we will see.

[zippydoodaar]

Can you afford to leave?

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

If I find another job.

[Beansprout30]

They sound awful to work with, hate the 'it's banter' line, it's bullying and it's not on, your boss really should deal with this or yes, a new job might be better

[goteam]

Keep records including date and time of every instance of 'banter'. Write it down verbatim. It's workplace bullying and it's important to keep records. If it's affecting your work and wellbeing you have grounds for taking out a grievance but just keep records (have I mentioned that?!). They sound awful.