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Fed Up BUT Relieved I didnt get the Job.

(6 Posts)
Monkeytree Wed 12-Jul-17 14:27:47

Just that really. I have been a sahm for nearly four years and attended an interview recently with idyllic hours around DC's p/t etc.
Got a phonecall saying you were just pipped because of X, your interview was spot on, I would have loved to have employed you but... (please apply again if you see something similar in future in the department,) no way my ego is bruised and you've had your chance.
And that's just it really my ego is bruised. I'm well educated and have good work experience (despite gap in employment) and apparently only narrowly missed out on this job but at the same time I feel relieved I didn't get it - and cant quite put my finger on why. Feeling a bit emotional so shed a few tears but it is more of an indignant sort of upset. I could do with a p/t job but not currently desperate but I see now that I have false expectations that something would just turn up. I have been far too autonomous for so long - my time has been my own and I also have a very engrossing hobby, I think I'm going to find it difficult to get back into the working mode. I am an introvert and have spent far too long on my own too - it would probably do me good to work amongst others and I sort of have a plan B in mind though it is not permanent employment sort of temping so I would be at the whim of this employer but at least should experience variety. It sucks trying to get back into employment especially because I was practically forced out of my previous job due to a radical changes in working hours. I was good at my job, I just couldn't look after my children and do the hours required anymore so I had to choose and that sucks too! Sorry for the rant suppose I am just feeling crap because I didn't get the job - sour lemons and all that.

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SherryBevan Thu 13-Jul-17 18:13:53

Sounds you like were great in the interview. being interviewed and not getting the offer always feels personal which is perhaps why a few tears were shed.

Good luck for the next interview.
Sherry

2017RedBlue Fri 14-Jul-17 10:03:06

The interview and then rejection brought up a lot more feelings than you were expecting perhaps, so it's normal to cry and feel a sense of frustration and yet perhaps also relief.

Getting back to work is tough. There is no clear sign-post saying this way or that way - you have to make it up as you go.

Don't give up. This wasn't meant to be - but I always take these sorts of situations as a blessing and believe that there's something better on its way to me instead.

Something will turn up too. You know as an introvert that being around people is exhausting yet also necessary to keep variety in your life. (I'm somewhat introverted too).

Change is hard, even when we know the change is good for us. Good luck with the next steps.

Monkeytree Fri 14-Jul-17 15:00:56

Oh, thank you for your replies x On the way back from interview I was actually considering re-training and lo and behold the woman who interviewed me and subsequently rang to give me the news suggested that I contact x about a position that would be along these lines - it was a really weird coincidence, as if she thought I might be suited to it too. I also realise that I am happier these days spending time in my own company doing my hobby and fortunate to have a small circle of friends too so usually see someone during the week (other than own family obviously). I think part of it is that now I am in my 40's and having gone through some life changing experiences, I don't want to waste my time doing something that doesn't really matter (unless of course I needed to work and would consider all sorts of jobs etc to fulfil this) but I am fortunate at the moment in that I don't need to work and I think this is giving me a get out clause and allowing me to be a bit more choosy; I feel exceptionally grateful for this. RedBlue you are right sometimes I find being around people exhausting. I am a good listener, I think and people tend to offload onto me and whilst this is lovely it can become wearing. My best friendships are two way and I have more control when I see people rather than turning up at x and seeing x in a work situation if that makes sense. My hobby has the potential to produce a small amount of money - cant bank on it but this would be great and very rewarding but will def consider re-training and volunteering in the interim I think. I have low self esteem and I think the rejection part really struck a chord. For a relatively low skilled job there was a lot of paperwork/tests to complete which I found slightly frustrating too. Jobs to fit around children are scarce - term time only etc, I feel like I'm very much in a queue whereas previously, I have usually walked straight into jobs (not always obviously) but quite often when working fulltime, so yes, probably had high expectations of getting it.

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Hazydaze67 Mon 17-Jul-17 14:27:52

That sounds so similar to my predicament at the moment. I had an interview last week and was told exactly (almost word for word) the same thing; impressed by my interview but someone else with more recent relevant skills got the job (I've been a SAHM for the last 18 months). A bit soul destroying, especially as I got the feeling another one of the candidates was just going through the motions and had already been earmarked for the job. I do believe that things happen for a reason and that something better will come along. At least the interview was good experience for next time.

Monkeytree Mon 17-Jul-17 17:48:24

Yes Hazy, I got the impression that this particular candidate who was selected stood out with experience no-one else could match and it did have that feel about it of going through the motions. If this was the case it wastes a lot of peoples time mine included - dh had to take some leave so I could get along to the interview and we paid extra time for dc to stay at nursery etc. And likewise, I am kind of relieved because I really think I might be better suited to something else. I gained a contact out of it if nothing else and I am in the process of following that up! It was galling how this individual jumped straight out of one job into another yet I have been a sahm for several years so probably disadvantaged straight away. It seems like an employers market at the moment especially if you are looking for certain types of jobs to suit working around children. Grhhhh!

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