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Tell me it gets easier ...

(10 Posts)
soupmaker Sat 17-Jun-17 14:25:40

I've gone back to work after 10 months at home with the DDs who are 9 and 3. I've loved being at home but with only DPs salary it was never going to work for more than a year.

I've got a job similar to my previous role, but without the stress of being in charge and managing people. It's full-time and my commute is about 40 minutes both ways.

I've been in new job for 4 weeks and I'm struggling. I'm exhausted. I hardly have any time to call my own. DP is also knackered. Just getting washings, ironing and food shopping done is exhausting as it's all done after 9pm once kids are asleep. I'm missing the kids loads and I know DD1 is struggling with me not being in the playground in the afternoon.

We have a temporary childminder and then the kids are going to separate childcare. Which is making me sad as in my old role I'd managed to get a childminder who could take them both - which is now not an option.

DD2 will start school next year so it will only be a year before they can both use after school care.

I should be having a fun time with the girls this weekend but instead I'm trying to do all the chores I can't do during the week and getting our garden tidied up. I have a cleaner before anyone suggests getting one!

Those of you who've been there and done it, tell me it gets easier. How do you juggle everything? What do you let go off - I've stopped caring about how often the beds get changed. How do you make the most of weekends and still get stuff done?

OP’s posts: |
soupmaker Sun 18-Jun-17 14:10:59

Bump. Just me??!!

OP’s posts: |
Sofia2011 Tue 04-Jul-17 07:34:35

I'm there just about to go back to full time work after having my second child. Theirs no denying it's hard work and u have to remember ur house will never be perfect you can only do what you can do. You are constantly knackered just trying to survive. Hopefully once kids get a bit bigger it should get easier but for now just take the rough with the smooth and remember millions of parents will be in the same boat.

Sofia2011 Tue 04-Jul-17 07:35:10

Order in your food, get a cleaner and anything to support whilst u can. Decluttering also helps.

ChrisPrattsFace Tue 04-Jul-17 07:42:03

I couldn't do it and quit my job!
I don't have any children yet, but the stress I had from travelling, the extra cost made my wage lower (even though I went to a higher paid job!) and I never seen DP.
I was exhausted from the work/travel and spent my days off recovering, catching up on the housework I didn't manage to do on already 12 hour days.
Hope it works out for you, but for me it came down to putting myself first! I never put myself first, and so glad I did!

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Tue 04-Jul-17 07:47:03

Can you go part time?

PastysPrincess Tue 04-Jul-17 07:55:22

The only way I made it work was to move jobs closer to home. I was lucky there was another office I could transfer to. Instead of commuting 25 miles through gridlock traffic I'm literally 1.6 miles down the road.

I order my shopping in and do things like clean the bathroom whilst my DS is having a bath- and accept my house will never be perfect.

It took me a long time to emotionally accept this was how it's going to be. I'm still not quite at peace but the bills need paying.

FacelikeaBagofHammers Tue 04-Jul-17 08:05:07

I work a 4 day week and it makes the relentless routine a bit more manageable. It will take time but you will get into the swing of it.

Is that am option for you? Get your cleaner to do the ironing if possible. I do very little housework during the week, apart from dinners and keeping on top of the kitchen. I try get out and exercise a couple of evenings too which helps. I batch cook and freeze dinners at the weekend too which saves on time/effort mid week and food shopping & meal planning dobe then too.

Why is your food shopping done after kids are asleep? Go at the weekend and bring one or both of them! Get them to help with the garden! What does your cleaner do? She can look after changing sheets, throwing on a couple of washes...

Rioja123 Tue 04-Jul-17 08:11:18

Online food shop, cleaner for a few hours if you can afford it?

Crochetthedayaway Tue 04-Jul-17 08:18:13

It is hard, I work pt but my dsis does what you do. She is very organised, meal planning, routine based around kids activities, a fair amount of divide to conquer with activities during the weekend, her doing one thing DH doing another. Making sure that things keep ticking over during the week so there isn't much build up by the weekend, a load of laundry a day etc. In your case I would consider a gardener once a month. It looks like bloody hard work but with lots of planning she does manage it.

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