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Advice needed, to go back or not??

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user1494861690 Mon 15-May-17 16:26:36

have a school age son and have recently had premature twins (born 26 weeks, was some issues but are now 7 months and everything ok). I was working part time hours before the pregnancy and my work were very good and flexible with me and are happy for me to go back on the same hours. I have a very stressful job which sometimes involves working late and a lot of paper work etc. I am currently debating whether to go back and put the twins in nursery. My DH has recently started a new job which involves much longer hours and working away. He says it's my decision and he will support me in what ever I choose but I secretly think he would like me to quit my job so he can focus totally on his career. It was very hard to get my job and train for it etc and it is well paid and flexible although I don't want to be stressed about work and be grumpy with the children. I also worry about quitting as I will miss the camaraderie at work and work is a big part of my identity. I know that it would be so much easier for all of us if I stop clinging on and just quit. If I didn't work I wouldn't have to worry about childcare, drop offs and pick ups, getting out of the house on time in the morning and worrying about getting holiday time off. I love my children to pieces but worry about when they are older I won't have anything for myself. We are lucky in that we could live on DH salary alone so money isn't a reason to go back. When I was working I always felt guilty that I was a rubbish mum and was not being professional at work if I had to leave to collect DS from school etc and was letting everyone down. But the thought of being a SAHM makes me worry I will feel undervalued or bored. Arggh I'm just so confused, has anyone else been in a similar situation and quit and been happy/regretted it?? Please I need advice!!

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