What to do re back to work?

[Pixiesaidso]

Name changed for this as possibly outing.

Need advice/perspective - what would you do in my situation?

I'm due back to work in three months and have requested flexible working (4 days) which has been refused.
I don't want to go back to this company as I know my life will be made difficult- they believe people with children are a burden on the company and make it clear that they look down on employees with children.

I need to work and earn at least £600 a month to survive.
My current full time wage is fairly decent and DP is worried if I leave and work a min wage job (cleaner, supermarket etc) that I will struggle to get another well paid job in the future.
we need a bigger house and this is now on hold until our DS is in school now due to finances. - (this doesn't change whether I work full or p/t)
I could find another full time job - but it's very unlikely I'd get flexi hours in a new company so would be five full days, something I'm not happy with as we've struggled to conceive for years so probably only child and I won't get the chance to spend time with my son like this again, so I'm struggling with the thought of DS being in full time childcare. We don't have family nearby who can help.

Would you work any job you could get on a evening and therefore not spending time with DP and scrape by for money for two years, possibly not getting back into work at same rate and getting worse mortgage deal

Or work full time for a new company and put DS in full time childcare and be financially better off short term and long term?

Sorry if it's long winded or half of this is irrelevant..

[yorkshirepuddingandroastbeef]

Local government, Civil Service and NHS will all have some jobs that offer flexible working. Have a look there?

I'd hang onto this job until you have something lined up then you won't be forced into something low paid.

[Newmother8668]

Don't go to a dead end job. I considered it, but realised that's a bad move. I'm in the same situation, but I put in my notice as I already budgeted that I would be working part time, so even just two and a half weeks of full time work add up and gives me time to find a part time role. If I can't find something with flexible hours, what about temping? It's what I plan to do until I get my part time role. They pretty much say yes to working hours you needanyway?

[Pixiesaidso]

Thank you, hadn't thought about temping I could look into that it just doesn't feel very secure. I'm so anxious because I like to plan everything and know where I am.

The thought of going back to my current place is filling me with dread.

[squirreling]

Hey. It's awful isnt it. I went back to my comfortably paid job pt twice (after two children) and after the inital first couple of weeks of it feeling awful reqlly enjoyed being back in the work place, however it was impossible to do part time- very stressful etc. If worked hard to get where I was (masters degree, 10 years in job) but actually got to the point where the only thing stopping me from getting signed off for stress by GP was that I may have to declare to other employers. .. i am now in a minimum wage job which is reqlly flexible around my husbands shifts so we don't have to pay a penny for childcare. . I.am not stressed one iota and actually love the job. I am bored thoigh and realise I need a little more long term but actually looking forward to building a new career..... plus I spend very little time with ny husband....... Could you go back to the job (not sure about your arrangement but in mine I had to go back for 3 months or pay back some of my mat pay), see how it is and if the initial feelings of it being awful don't go away them have a rethink? Is there any way your husband could work compressed hours ot get a day off so he'll look after your child one day and could you do compressed hours/work from home ia xouple of evenings so you get a day/afternoon off with her?

[Newmother8668]

Just an update to give you hope. I have an interview for a part time job with the same salary as my full time role but pro rata. They actually want a mother for the job and believe they will get the best candidate this way. Hours are fully flexible and it's only a 30 minute commute door to door.

[Pixiesaidso]

That's positive to hear Squirrelling! I hope I end up feeling the same!

That sounds ideal Newmother, I hope you get the job!

I've had an interview yesterday for a p/t job that would be ideal hours wise where it wouldn't impact on my time with DP too much.

I'm waiting to hear back and am so nervous! I think because I feel like I've a lot riding on it. I think I answered the questions well.. except maybe one where I didn't rate myself highly enough out of 10 for something that's probably quite fundamental to the role.. oops ..so it's likely to be a no! Kicking myself!!

Should find out in the next few days!

[Newmother8668]

Good luck!!! Here's hoping for you!

[Jenniferb21]

I just want to say I could have written this I'm going through the exact same thing. My employer refused a 4 day week or reducing my hours. My job is very stressful and I've really been dreading it. DS isn't settling v well at nursery either which is breaking my heart. I'm sure it's normal and he'll get there but imagining him crying there n wanting me is so upsetting.

We want a bigger house for our expanding family so I need to work to save n be able to get the mortgage we'd need. It's so hard to decide what to do. I can't work evenings though as DH sometimes has to stay away when meeting clients (he's home based).

I've tried to find a job share as all part time jobs I w found won't cover childcare and there's only been 1 job I applied for full time and it went to someone more experienced (I've only been graduated 5 years and am in the same job)

Please update us. I'm still deciding what to do I'm due back in June xxxx

[Pixiesaidso]

Just wanted to update this thread.

I applied for a part time job which would have been perfect..I didn't get the job as couldn't start immediately!

I applied for a care assistant job part time which I was offered (think they accept anybody though) I turned it down as would have been long hours for little pay.. think 16 hour day, and only paid min wage for 11 of those hours.

I have since applied for and been offered a full time job for more money and 45 minutes less each day although it's about 8 miles further to travel I'd still get home sooner.

I've accepted and handing my notice in on Monday!

It has great prospects, my DS starts nursery full time shortly and has done well in the settle sessions, and it will help massively when applying for a mortgage in a few years.

I'm not 100 percent sure I'm doing the right thing but time will tell!

[Millybingbong]

This is such a difficult situation.

I was in a fully flexible job but totally bored. After my third (and final) child I got a new role and persuaded them to let me work 4 days. I have realised that I am just not prepared to work 4 days - especially when practically everyone else is full time and there is no flexibility at all - I do no school runs etc now.

I am being interviewed for a flexible part time job next week. It might be less interesting but I didn't have 3 kids to let them spend over half their week with a nanny.