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How does anyone manage to work with kids and no help?

(12 Posts)
Somerset1972 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:40:37

Sorry for the long post but I'm so fuc@ed off at the moment! I'm trying to find a job with some actual prospects and opportunities for a career! I want to do my diplomas in health and social care so when my kids are older I can do my nursing degree. I've been looking for work in community care but everywhere wants me starting at 7am! My daughter isn't old enough for breakfast club yet (preschool) and my mum will not help at all. She forgets how my nan used to look after us from 7 in the morning some days then all night and into the day whilst she slept! She's forgotten how I used to have days off school to look after my little brothers and take them to preschool then pick them up. Yesterday I went for a job in care and I got so humiliated by the company owner😢 I'd put on my application my dds specialist nurse as a reference. He loudly asked me in the office why? And why can't he ask the previous company I worked for? So I told him the nursing company I worked for went bust 8 years ago...well he starts waving my application to everyone in the office shouting '8 years 8 years she's not worked for how am I supposed to get a reference on that? How have you not worked for 8 years?' To an office of 15 people staring at me! When 8 years ago I was sat in intensive care with my son in a coma who had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 15 months! He's been very ill ever since and was left with mild brain damage. A few years after that I found myself in a chemotherapy suite with my dad who I nursed until he died 3 years ago leaving my nan behind heartbroken with Alzheimer's, since then I've been her main Carer looking after her dealing with her confusion, making sure she's not lonely having her round for tea and taking her out at the weekend. Whilst dealing with 3 kids one of them Ill! Put it this way I don't want his shite job and I won't justify myself to him! So again I'm left looking for job between 9 and 3 and again and again I'm told no your availability isn't enough. I can't do evenings, my son won't count his own carbs weigh his own food or give himself insulin and won't let anyone inject him not even my husband! Where are these jobs?? I can't find them!!!

OP’s posts: |
NerrSnerr Wed 22-Feb-17 20:49:03

What time does your husband start work? Is there any flexibility in that? Can any local childminders do before preschool?

We have no support, our nearest family member is 90 minutes away. My husband works away a lot so when looking for my last job I had to ensure it was office hours so that we could get the childcare needed. It isn't easy with child sickness etc and we're often having the 'whose day can be cancelled to take tomorrow off' talk but it is possible.

LaPharisienne Wed 22-Feb-17 20:50:44

You have my sympathies. I have no idea.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Wed 22-Feb-17 20:51:39

We have 3 chn and no family help. We have a very good nursery who are very flexible. When we have earlier starts we beg friends or pay a nursery worker we know better than others to take the kids. There is a way round most things (and without sounding harsh) and there's no point in getting upset with your mum/family for not doing more. Been there done that and the only person who'll get upset by it is you.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Wed 22-Feb-17 20:53:02

And it sounds like you've been unfortunate in where you've looked for work, what a horrible way to be treated. Keep looking and you'll find something that works

yorkshirepuddingandroastbeef Wed 22-Feb-17 20:57:24

The thing is, you don't have to put up with being treated like that at interview, you could have just walked out. No point in working for a twat.

Somerset1972 Wed 22-Feb-17 21:19:23

No you're right! I was offered the job but he can shove it!! I'll keep looking. I'm just sick of being treated like crap being a mum, and a Carer! I'm not just worrying about what to do with the kids I'm worrying about what will happen to my nan, the thought of her being alone makes me cry x

OP’s posts: |
alabasterangel Wed 22-Feb-17 21:22:39

Would you be better going through an agency who specialise in this kind of work who can then filter what they put you forward for? Would you be happy with something that wasn't a permanent contract?

Somerset1972 Wed 22-Feb-17 21:41:21

Yes I could look into agency work. It was an agency I worked for years ago, I loved that job. It hit them hard though when they lost the contract at our local hospital and went bust😥

OP’s posts: |
Babyroobs Thu 23-Feb-17 19:00:41

Please don't let this one idiot of an employer put you off. We have 4 kids and no help. We have always worked around each other so that one of us was always home so I did nights / weekends.

CPtart Thu 23-Feb-17 19:14:52

We paid for help. For many years. Nurseries, childminders, after school and holiday clubs etc etc. Cost a fortune. MY DM wouldn't provide regular help either (no problem with that).
FWIW, I'm a nurse and I would not choose this career again, simply because the working hours are pretty unsociable, and the NHS is not, IME a family friendly employer.

OneWithTheForce Thu 23-Feb-17 19:18:09

Childcare is your husbands responsibility too.

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