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is baby too young for me to go to work?

(24 Posts)
Mrsknackered Wed 15-Feb-17 14:48:42

A few days before I found out I was expecting DC2, I lost my job (and was devastated.)
I looked and looked for work in the same field but no one seemed to be in need of my role and I only had one interview - which was unsuccessful.
I have been a SAHM for the whole pregnancy and DC2 is now 11 weeks old. I kinda resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be out of work for a while, and the likelihood of finding a job of this nature again was very slim.
However just by chance today I found a job advertisement for exactly what I was doing before and with better pay. I'd be gutted to miss this opportunity to apply and the small chance that I would be able to resume the kind of work I was in before.
However the job starts in April, baby will be less than 5 months old.
Is it unfair to leave him for (32 hours a week?) I feel a bit teary thinking about it, I can't imagine not being with him 24/7.
With DC1 I missed a lot because I was studying and working, I don't regret it but I do have a different bond with DC2 then I did with DC1 at this age.
Can I still have this bond with him if he is at nursery for that amount of time? Should I apply?

PuntCuffin Wed 15-Feb-17 14:50:45

I went back full time when DS1 was 4 months old so I would say it is fine. No one ever tells dad they don't have a proper bond with their children because they work. Others will undoubtedly disagree.

JoJoSM2 Wed 15-Feb-17 14:52:08

It sounds like you're not quite ready yet. My mum went back after just 3 months with all her DC. In some countries, eg the US, maternity leave is only 12 weeks... You could always apply and interview. They might be willing to wait a little for you to start. You could decide once you've been offered if you're going to take it or not.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Wed 15-Feb-17 14:53:34

It isn't that long ago that only 16 weeks of mat pay was the norm so most working mums returned to work when their baby was 5/6 months old

It is obviously lovely to have the privilege of 9/12 months off after your baby is born but many of us with older DC managed with much less

I would actually say that settling a 5 month old in nursery is easy than a 9 month old as it tends to be before the clingy stage

Go for it

BadToTheBone Wed 15-Feb-17 15:38:27

I went back to work when ds was 4 months old, it was hard but we managed. He's 15 now and we are really close, I haven't missed out on anything with him and he's a great lad. I didn't go back to work until dd was over a year old, it was a different experience but my bond with her is no better or no worse than the bond with ds.

I say go for it.

Mrsknackered Wed 15-Feb-17 16:41:19

Thank you, you have all made me a lot more confident about it. Where we are at the moment everyone is a SAHM so they would be horrified at the thought of putting such a young baby in childcare. There's no harm in applying! Fingers crossed.

ijustwannadance Wed 15-Feb-17 16:48:54

I'd go for it too. It's fine if you choose to be a SAHM but also completely fine if you don't.

MiddleClassProblem Wed 15-Feb-17 16:52:39

From what I've seen in my area nurseries start from around 3 months so there must be a need for it! Not the same thing but I know someone self employed who went back after 2 weeks. Apply, if you get the job and feel you can't then you don't have to take it. If you do the job and give it a few months and want to go back to sahp then nothing's really stopping you. I'm a sahp and I miss work, adult conversation, my own head space, doing anything non child related etc so I would def away towards going for it every time at the mo!

bummymummy77 Wed 15-Feb-17 16:55:23

12 weeks maternity in the US?! Not one person I know has had even a week let alone 12.

Oly5 Wed 15-Feb-17 16:55:37

Of course you should go for it, who knows when the next job in your field will come along?
I went back after 14 months and settling into nursery was awful, would have been easier at five months.
Regardless, my son is older now and we have a great bond. There is so much more to parenting than just being st home for the first year.
Don't let other judgy mothers judge you!

CMOTDibbler Wed 15-Feb-17 17:05:12

I went back FT when ds was 4.5 months old. We have a brilliant bond, and he settled in nursery so easily compared to other people I knew settling in 1 year olds.

Beelzebop Thu 16-Feb-17 09:42:11

Go for it girl! I managed to put DS into nursery at 3 months. It wasn't easy but I just threw myself into it. And we still bonded really well. I don't know what other influences are there but he is by far the most independent our 3, and great with people. I do wonder if nursery helped with that. Good luck! Xxflowersflowers

badgerhead Sat 18-Feb-17 07:49:36

I am a childminder and would recommend you look for one should you get the job. Then you will know that your baby is being looked after in a home from home setting by someone who knows and understands young babies.
I currently have an almost 11 year old in my setting who has been with me since he was 4.5 months old and he has become like part of my family over the years. He starts secondary school in September and although he doesn't come in the holidays now we still see him 3 afternoons a week.

AllTheLight Sat 18-Feb-17 07:54:25

It's natural for you to feel this a bit terry about it. But it sounds like this is too good an opportunity to miss! Lots of people go back after 6 months, which is hardly any different.

nooka Sat 18-Feb-17 07:59:45

I went back to work at 6mths with ds and 3mths with dd. We were lucky enough to be able to use a nanny which made life much easier for us than I think any other form of childcare (huge luxury!). My two are teenagers now, and I spent this evening watching TV with dd's head on my lap. I think we bonded just fine smile

GailTheFish Sat 18-Feb-17 08:16:07

I went back to work to work when my DS was 8 months, and my DP then took 3 months shared parental leave. Would something like that work for you? I think the first 9 months parental leave are paid, so he would get at least the statutory parental pay. I'd say go for it - you can always see if you can push back your start date once you get the job. Good luck!

eurochick Sat 18-Feb-17 09:01:21

I went back when mine was a week shy of 6 months. I found it really hard but she was absolutely fine, and we are very well bonded.

SparklesandBangs Sat 18-Feb-17 09:06:33

I was back at work full time before mine were 3 months as was DH we have had no trouble bonding and I now have two happily rounded teenagers

KoolKoala07 Sat 18-Feb-17 09:09:10

Just placemarking out of interest of other people's opinions. I haven't had any children yet but am ttc. I will have to go back to work when baby is 3 months old. This is something that worries me.

expatinscotland Sat 18-Feb-17 09:11:01

I had to go back when DD2 was 4 months old. Not everyone can afford these year-long maternity leaves.

insancerre Sat 18-Feb-17 09:12:37

You would feel the same whatever age your baby
It will be easier for your baby to settle into nursery at an earlier age as they are just unaware of what's happening, unlike older babies who hit the separation anxiety phase at about 12 months
Babies are capable of forming multiple attachments so it won't affect your relationship with your baby as you will still be the primary carer
You need to do what is right for you and your family, so don't let any body tell you it is wrong

sonlypuppyfat Sat 18-Feb-17 09:12:47

Well my DS is nearly 18 and I'm not ready to go back to work

jamaisjedors Sat 18-Feb-17 09:13:37

Go for it, I went back after 16 weeks with both of mine. I would second the recommendation of a child minder, a home environment is nicer for a baby and much more flexible too.

Champers4Pampers Sat 18-Feb-17 09:34:28

I agree you'll find it hard no matter what age your baby is.

Apply for the job, you have nothing to loose.

Definitely look into childcare now. The area I live in has lots of waiting lists.

Good luck OP.

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