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Back to work on Tuesday after 16 months

(10 Posts)

sad petrified doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling.

I used my holidays and parental leave to stretch my maternity leave as far as I could and Ive requested to go back 4 days instead of 5. This request has provisionally been accepted for 6 weeks (I've been told I can look for roles internally that would accommodate this request if I like during the 6 weeks).

I'm scared that after 6 weeks I'll be stuck working 5 days which will mean that I need to arrange childcare for an extra day ( I need to give the nursery 4 weeks notice) arghhhh whyyyyy can't anything be straight forward.

I've been advised by my manager not to apply for flexible working until my 6 weeks are up as they are having a restructure.

Think I'm just having a rant but I'm scared and I'm going to miss my little boy like crazy sad

Munstermonchgirl Fri 30-Dec-16 11:05:04

I think your feelings are completely to be expected after 16 months out of the workplace. That's a long time and it must feel almost like starting out again in a new job.

However (as a mum of 3 now adult
Children) I can vouch for the fact that the thought of returning is far harder than the reality. It helps if you have a really busy job (teacher here!) because you'll find you literally don't have a moment to think about your baby. It'll be a lovely feeling at the end of the day of 'ooh now I'm going to pick up my gorgeous child!'

I had very short Maternity leaves (as per usual back then) so I suspect it may take a longer period of adjustment for you to settle back in, but it really will be fine! My top tip is to just be really organised... get everything ready the night before and establish a routine. I worked 3 days a week and made sure I got up, fed dd (I was still bf) at the same time even on my non work days so that we were completely in the swing of it.
Good luck

Thanks for your advice munstermonchgirl I will definately take it on board.

I have been asked to support with a role which is different to the one I left so that will keep me busy and hopefully take my mind off what I'm missing!

I was hoping my son would be walking before I left to go back to work as I didn't want to miss out on any milestones but he's still quite content crawling around hehe.

Thanks again for your reply x

DoItTooJulia Fri 30-Dec-16 11:12:34

Eugh-it's an horrible feeling. Like that Sunday evening feeling times a thousand.

My advice is to go and and not worry for the first week about the future. Settle in. See where the land lies with the restructure. See if you think you can cope. Put the feelers out with nursery. Consider condensed hours. Enjoy the hot cup of tea and peace and quiet in the car on your way to and from work.

It won't be as bad as you're imagining.

Then ask colleagues and check policies about the flexi working request. See how they've managed.

Get organised at home-clothes for everyone for the week, meal plan, get lunches sorted. Stock up on paracetamol and calpol (someone is bound to get a cold!) and accept that to begin with you'll be shattered.

Or, you could do what someone advised me to do-get pregnant again quick-didn't work for me (secondary infertility) but lots of women do it!

Good luck.

DoltTooJulia you hit the nail on the head it is exactly that dreaded Sunday evening feeling!!

Ooo quite like the idea of a hot cup of tea... maybe it won't all be bad hehe

Yeah your right I need to not focus on what's going to happen further down the line and focus on settling in.

Thanks for the calpol and paracetamol tip I didn't even think of that! Will definately get on to meal planning today.

As for getting preggers again - I think I'm still getting used to being responsible for one little human hehehe.

Xxx

Elvi1 Sun 01-Jan-17 23:18:17

Hi, I've just responded to another post about this, but wanted to say that I'm also going back to work on Tuesday after more than a year for 3 days per week. im feeling really anxious and dreading being apart from him. Tomorrow night I'm going to feel when worse!!

Elvi1 I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow! How are you feeling??

I'm dreading it, getting all of DS things prepared today for the week.

I was tossing and turning all night last night probably won't sleep a wink tonight. Trying to stay relaxed today and go about my day like it was any other!

The problem I suppose for me is that I just hate not knowing whether work will permanently agree to the days / hours I require, they've had long enough to think about it I would have thought that they could have worked something out for me instead of provisionally giving it to me for 6 weeks.
X

Elvi1 Mon 02-Jan-17 12:43:01

It might make you feel a little better for you to know I'm sort of in a similar position. Although I'm going back 3 days a week, it's all dependent on finding someone to share my job for the other two days. If no-one can be found I will have to either go full time - which I'm not going to to - so I will have no choice but to hand in my notice. So the uncertainty is an added stress for us isn't it? Sounds more complicated for you, but if the notice period for the nursery doesn't work out, maybe you or your OH could take one days leave each week until the nursery can accommodate you? I'm sure it's just standard practice for you to give them 4 weeks notice - they might be able to accommodate your little one sooner?

I'm trying not to think too much about it at the moment. I'm going to pack his bag early so I can enjoy the rest of the day. I'm going to try to think positive - it's a shorter week - and I'm going to think of what nice things we can do on my days off. No doubt this positive thinking will go out the window later when trying to sleep - bad enough going back to work after a break anyway! Only saving grace is that OH will be dropping him off x

Ah I see, I hope you manage to find someone to job share with you! I figure that once my 6 weeks are up and if my flexible working request isn't accepted I will ultimately have to find a part time job elsewhere. Currently at my place of work my team works 24 hours 7 days a week which means I'm expected to work weekends and late evenings and possibly night shifts to ensure I'm available to them - so me asking for tues-fri is a big ask!!
Your right the uncertainty is defiantly an additional stressor but I guess that's life, nothing's ever straight forward!

Yeh hopefully the nursery will be able to accommodate, I'm going to speak with them tomorrow after work to see what we can arrange.

Hehehe you sound like me positive thinking up until my head hits my pillow and then I'll start panicking!grin

Aww that's great that your OH will be able to do drop offs, takes a little of the pressure off you.

I hope you have a great evening! Let me know how your day goes tomorrow!! Xx

Elvi1 Mon 02-Jan-17 20:33:39

Thank you. Good luck for tomorrow. I was feeling ok - focussing on what I need to do at work tomorrow - but now the anxiety has caught up with me x

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