AIBU... feel so upset right now!(5 Posts)
So i am a mum of 5, my youngest is 5 and is now in fte, so all my babies are now at school. My husband has a fairly good job and works full time. Recently we have been struggling with money, we've not had the money to cover all the bill's and have been finding it difficult etc. He has said that he will need to work sat and sunday (7 days) to bring in more money. Tonight i had said to dh that i think that now all the children are at school i should go back to work, just part time as the children still need dropping off/picking up from school, as we really need the money His reply was "well whats the point in that when i can earn more in a weekend that you can in a week! ") I feel so upset by this as its made me feel like im useless as I'll not earn as much as he can? I just want to help provide and not see him having to work 7 days a week. Does he really see me as that s**t.
You are not useless, you are looking after 5 children- could he manage that and bring in a good wage? I would ignore what he says and see if you can get something part time. It all helps if you are struggling with money.
you are already doing a full time job looking after those kids. I understand that your husband does not mean it in a rude way, men can be blunt sometimes, try not to take it the wrong way. because it will be a struggle to find a part time job and also you will have to drop the kids and then go to work and then leave work early to pick the kids so he means that it is easier if he works weekends. you could still try but personally with my little one I waited to go back until he was independent and not a baby anymore because it is quite hard with kids.
another way to see it is that you don't need to work and you can enjoy raising the kids which some women may be jealous of.
You need to consider childcare costs in the holidays too unless you are planning to get a term time job . Depending on the ages of your kids this could be very expensive for 5 kids. Might be better looking for an evening or night job so that your dh can be around for the kids when you are at work. We have 4 kids and this is what we have always done. We still have the problem that I need to get some sleep in the holidays but the older kids keep an eye on the younger ones for a few hours and I can be woken up if there is a problem. Not ideal I know but 4 kids are costly and you have to do what you can to get by. I wouldn't want my dh working 7days a week, no-one should have to do that. I imagine it would be detrimental to health in the longer term.
I think he meant he didn't want to pressure you to slog for a week when he could just do extra days. The fact that he hasn't nagged you to get a job means he thinks you already do a FANTASTIC job supporting you all!!
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