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Honest opinions on what to do from an outside perspective

(2 Posts)
ilovemyCheebie Sun 20-Nov-16 22:34:46

DD is 13 months, we've lived with my mum since I was half way through my pregnancy. My mum and I aren't getting on, she mum binge drinks, has tried to stop before but doesn't want to now, drinks till she passes out. I see that I need to regain independence with my dd.

I don't have a job or childcare. I've been working on a food business for the past 4 months which caught the attention of a supermarket who are interested but want me to focus on branding. The development has cost me all my money and a lot of time. What the supermarket are advising me to do, will be costly. I personally predict that I would be left out of pocket for at least a year more while working on this, there's a lot of trial and error in the product because of the kind of product it is.. However it's had interest from big companies who think it could be effective.

for me to carry on with business it would be impossible for me to move on with my dd until it starts earning proper stable money, which there is a big risk it may not like with any other start up... It's easy for me to see the way I would like things to go if I carry on down this path but difficult to predict the reality of whether it will be a winner or a big flop.

I've also a good work history in premium jewellery selling it's a good earner for someone like me who has no qualifications past an art diploma, about 23-27k annually, some people get 40k. But the work for this is in London. Right now I'm in Dorset where jewellery sales are minimum wage, for companies like Pandora, Thomas Sabo etc. not the same kind of companies as in London. For me to commute to London cost effectively I would take a coach which would be in total around 5 hours travelling a day (5 hours I could be with my daughter...)

I feel that my options are either to stop the business, work PT here in Dorset and save enough to be able to secure deposit, childcare etc. (this could take a long while) and when this is saved I can secure a job and then move closer to the companies I want to work for. Or I can continue with the business that's either going to be a success or flop, it could be pretty great, I am passionate about it but dd is priority I'm sacred to let her down.

From reading this I would hugely appreciate an outsiders opinion on where to go from here or a suggestion?

OP’s posts: |
hutchblue Mon 21-Nov-16 13:44:21

It sounds like your priority is to get away from your DM? Your poor DM, it sounds like she needs help, is very unhappy. If there was a way to straighten her out, then that would be best of all as then you could stay home and not need to leave just yet and still work on your idea.

Your food idea sounds like it has real potential and could be very valuable at some point. I would suggest now, when you are young and can take some risk in your life (even though you have a DD and your DM is causing troubles) that you keep going with this as you've caught the attention of some big retailers. You will make far more money potentially long-term with a great business idea that could give you true freedom, than earning even up to £40k per year and have a 5 hour commute. That sounds like a non-starter because of the 5 hour commute. That will drain you long-term. I'd suggest moving to London to live and sell jewellery there - but costs are so high, you may find it a struggle and although free of your DM, you'd have financial pressures and you'd be starting again with your life I guess which you might not want to do.

Is there any way you could try and get your Mum to help herself?

There are free numbers and groups everywhere. She is not alone.

Perhaps telling her you will move out may be the wake up call she needs? I don't know - not making any suggestions - only you can decide.

But in summary I'd say keep going with your food idea. Yes it may fail but it sounds like it has a chance of success. Clearly you love doing it, or you wouldn't have spent all your money on it? Is that right? Much better to do work you love and get paid than selling jewellery - unless you love doing that too? I'm still all for going for your own idea if you can get it to work. And if you want to PM maybe I could help in some way too. I used to work in branding. Not sure I'd have anything I can add - but offer is there.

Good luck to you. I hope it all works out for you.

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