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Should I stay in a job I hate?

(11 Posts)
peskyfeelings Wed 27-Jul-16 20:34:07

Just gone back to work after 6 months on the sick. My sickness was caused by severe depression and anxiety, and no small part of that was down to the place I was working.

I refused to go back to my place of work (I work with homeless young people) Eventually my company found me an alternative placement at another site.

I am now into the third week of a month phased return to work, and I can already feel my anxiety soaring and my mood dropping. I really do try to be measured and professional, but I just feel like an utter incompetent waiting to be found out. I swear my self esteem plummets the moment I am in that working environment. Today I was given tasks that my manager knew would take me half an hour over my finishing time and didn't even acknowledge the fact. They are a company that will happily overwork their staff at every chance!

I work there 23 hours a week. I have another 16 hour a week voluntary role that comes with a rent free flat. My voluntary employers have offered me bank work to a similar wage and hours. I am really tempted, but here's the rub. My DP and I are ttc and my place of current paid work has a decent enhanced maternity package. We are far from rich and I know I need to be sensible.

Wwyd? Stay or go? Perhaps I just need to woman up and tough it out. Really feeling quite pathetic tonight. sad

Haggisfish Wed 27-Jul-16 20:39:11

I would take voluntary job.

peskyfeelings Wed 27-Jul-16 20:58:21

Really Haggisfish I honestly thought people would tell me to stick with the job I'm doing. It just feels immature somehow to leave a contracted hours job for bank work.

I honestly wish I could make myself feel differently about this job. If only for the sake of the maternity package.

CrazyDuchess Wed 27-Jul-16 21:01:27

I'd leave - my mental health is more important than any job or package imo - I once left a job with none to go to with a less that 2 year old.... but I was suicidal!

Haggisfish Wed 27-Jul-16 21:08:58

Sorry, hadn't clocked it was bank work. I would stick at hated job for a year and desperately try to get pg within that time. You would have to go back for a certain length of time usually to repay mTernity pay, but prob bearable if you know how long it's for.

alphabook Wed 27-Jul-16 21:20:08

I was working for the NHS with excellent maternity benefits, but I was miserable. Was TTC for years and I kept holding out thinking "I'll be pregnant and on maternity leave soon" but it just wasn't happening. In the end I quit to work in the charity sector, and fell pregnant before starting my new job, so now I'm only entitled to maternity allowance. I don't regret it for a second though, my mental health is the most important thing and I don't think I could have coped with another 9 months in my old job. I'm so much happier now. I figure we'll make do with what we've got financially.

Haggisfish Wed 27-Jul-16 21:33:29

Yes I would set a definite length of time I could stick it out for and stick to that.

peskyfeelings Thu 28-Jul-16 10:05:13

I wonder if quitting the job you hated helped you to get pregnant alphabook? I know my anxiety has rocketed after just 3 weeks...hardly good for conception!

I really don't know how long I can stick it out for though Haggisfish That's the trouble with MH issues. They just creep up/appear without warning. It's bloody horrible tbh.

I'm going to start looking fo something else I think. If I miss out on enhanced pay then so be it. I'm sitting here with my legs going numb just at the thought of going back into that place tomorrow. sad

RatherBeRiding Thu 28-Jul-16 16:02:42

Quit the hated job. It's really not worth the stress and axiety. TTC - it might take a while and could you really see yourself staying there if you don't get pg quickly? Always thinking Will it be this month? And if it isn't knowing you are still no nearer a leaving date.

Take the bank work and actually enjoy going out to work. Maternity care will take care of itself.

CountryLovingGirl Thu 28-Jul-16 20:35:56

I would go with the voluntary role too. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health for.

peskyfeelings Fri 29-Jul-16 08:22:46

I think you could both be right. I'm staying there for the enhanced maternity pay, but the stress of being there has a good chance of hindering my chances of conception.

It's amazing how badly a job can affect you isn't it? Three weeks back there and I'm already in a dreadful mood with myself and the entire world.

I am going to clarify exactly how many hours of bank work is available and if it's workable then I am going to take it. I will look for something else more permanent in the meantime. Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your input. smile

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