desire for challenging job vs. seeing the kids

[tonton]

Not looking for advice, just wanted to chat to anyone else who feels the same.
I've been free-lancing since October when dd2 was 6 months. It has worked ok with childcare being done by a mix of dh and the occasional temp nanny when dh was busy (he is self-employed too). But the ad-hoc thing is difficult to manage, even though it is nice in some ways.
Every now and then I get called by a headhunter about a permamenet job. I'm going for an interview today as it happens. They are usually fulltime, very occasionally 4 days is possible. That's just the way my industry is, especially at my level.
I feel so split emotionally - on the one had I have enjoyed spending so much time with my girls since last spring. Before then I always worked fulltime (dd1 is 6) so it has been quite novel getting to the school get etc.
On the other hand, i have quite a strong desire to 'provide' for my family, to maintain or even raise our standard of living. Plus I suffer from depression and work keeps me mentally stimulated which in turn seems to help me stay on an even keel - very important for my family!
Sometimes these new jobs sound quite exciting - I'm only going to take a permanent job if it seems challenging, quite well paid and with prospects. So I feel quite split.

[riab]

Can Dh take more of the childcare on? We're in this position in a way. Dh earns a good wage and has a very challanging and stressful job. I'm desperate to be back in work and something which stretches me. We've agreed if I get offerred a good f/t job he will work a 3 month notice period while we save up a bit of cash. Then he looks after DS while I work.

We all win in that situation, like you i find that i have to work relaly in order to stay sane and mentally and emotionally stable. DS would get some one on one time with a parent, DH would get bonding time with his son and I get to feel better about myself.

If Dh is self employed could he drop his workload to say 2 days?

If its important to you that YOU spend time with the kids then try negotiating one day at home, arrange childcare but if kids are at nursery and you are working from home you get to drop them off a bit later or pick them up earlier so you see more of them.

I have 1 day working from home right now. I drop DS at nursery at 8am, then straight home and nose to the grindstone by 8.15am.
pick up at 11.45am, home and put him to bed for a nap. More work from 12.30-2pm.
Then from 2pm onwards I spend time with DS, Dh gets in at 5pm and takes over while I spend 30 mintues dealing with any phone calls or emails before people go home at 6pm.

I do 2 hrs in the evening once DS is in bed. I fit 7 hrs into the day but still spend the afternoon in the park with DS (okay sometimes with my moby tunred on)

Its not easy but Dh wants to do the same if he stays at work, the day at home is a 'report writing, email answering, work planning day. And actually i find that in 6-7 hrs at home i get the same amount of writing done as in a full day at the office with interuptions.

[tonton]

Unfprtunately even though dh is self-employed he doesn't get to choose his hours. Most of his schedule is outside his control. When he can he does do childcare.

The problem with working from home is that with a new job it is often quite hard to get employers to agree particularly as the roles are often fairly senior.
My friends that do manage to work part-time have all been at the same firms for years - and their careers have often suffered as a result.
Obviously the 4 day week or 1 day at home option would be great but just have to wait for that opportunity. There was a 4 day role I interviewed for recently but the commute was bad and the money wasn't great.