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Not sure i want to leave him

(6 Posts)
Nutcracker Tue 25-May-04 18:11:22

I am supposed to be going back to college in September. I will be doing a full time (10-3)access course and Ds will be at the college nursery.
I really do want to go back to college, but the thought of leaving Ds at nursery all day makes me want to howl. He never stays anywhere but with me and i like it that way.
My Dd2 starts school in September and i was looking forward to getting to do things with Ds, but i won't have time.
I know it would do him good to mix with other kids but he's my baby.
I would be going to uni after college so he would be in full time childcare then too, until he started school whilst i was in my last year.

I know i am being pathetic really but this has sort of hit me like a tonne of bricks as i wasn't expecting to feel like this.
Should i postpone going back to college ??

elelulu Tue 25-May-04 18:44:10

Nutcracker,
I went back to college this year, to do a masters degree @ LSE.
I decided to do it part time (I had to go twice a week) and I have an au-paire living with us. Anyway the course has been VERY demanding in term of homework and studying and I missed out in time spent with my daughter. Sometimes I asked myself - why am I doing it? My daughter is not very happy either when I leave her with the au-paire to do my work.
However I thought it was a good idea nevertheless - the course has been intellectually very rewarding - I adore spending time with my baby but last year (when I was a ful time mother) I felt I needed something different to nurture a bit my intellectual self. And a happy mother is important for a happy baby.
You are lucky to have a college nursery.
If you should postpone is really something that only you can decide - is doing the course part time a possibility? For me it has worked ok (still very busy, but I cannot think how stress I could have been had I done it full time...)

Nutcracker Tue 25-May-04 19:21:56

Hi elelulu, I did start the course part time last september, but it didn't go very well. I had to be out of the house at 5.30 two nights a week but sometimes Dp was late and then i was late e.t.c.

If i start it again part time, it will take 2 years. if i do it full time it will take 1 year.

I am just so indesicive lately it's annoying me now.

LIZS Tue 25-May-04 19:29:38

Sorry if this sounds obvious but is full time literally every day ? Leaving him for 5 hours isn't really all day although I appreciate that it would mean that you have little undivided time with him. Presumably during that time he would normally nap anyway. Do you need to make the decision soon ? It just seems that you have enough other things going on without fretting about this too.

Nutcracker Tue 25-May-04 19:37:29

It would be Mon-Fri 10-3.
I know it's not sooo long but it's just that by the time i finish training (4 yrs altogether) he will be 5 1/2 and i'll have missed him being a baby.

I know i'm being idiotic but i can't help it.

FairyMum Wed 26-May-04 06:44:45

I think it's normal to feel like you do when you are due to go back to work or start studying. I think your child will be fine and probably benefit from nursery. 10-3 isn't really all day. I think it sounds like you have the perfect balance between time spent in nursery and time spent with you. Most people who go back to work have no choice but to leave their children for a lot longer. I think you should go for it!

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