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Having a wobble about working FT

(3 Posts)
CheeseGrater Thu 17-Dec-15 17:23:08

DCs are 4 and 18mths.

I've been off work (mat leave and redundancy) for 18 mths. Prior to that between having DC1 and my second mat leave I had a v flexible job with lots of home working and it was 4 days per week.

I've been interviewing for a fab role that I love the sound of and should hear tomorrow whether I get it or not.

The reality is starting to kick in though - it's FT, with a commute of 1hr15m each way. There would be some flexibility with the odd day at home but overall in the office. I'll be able to manage my own day so may very well make it home by 6pm some days but others will be later.

I loved my maternity leave first time round but second time I've felt tired, frustrated, unfulfilled, understimulated etc etc DC2 was a trickier baby and has only just started sleeping through (til 5:30am but this is a huge improvement) though things are getting a tiny but easier now they are a bit older and we've found a bit of a flow I suppose.

So whilst I find myself loving the idea of this new job, and know I'm in a bit of a rut in my SAHM role I'm also having a bit of a wobble too.

Part time isn't an option.

The money is great and DH and our parents will cover the childcare between them so no real issues there.

But I feel sad that I'd be swapping early morning snuggles with DC2 with a mad dash to get out the door and sit on the train for an hour. Every day. I've fantasised about having time to read on the train, or do the online food shop in peace, or wear grown up nice clothes, or go to the gym at lunch time and feel like me again, to use my brain properly and feel stimulated and challenged but now I'm on the cusp of the change I'm panicking. Will the DC be ok without me? Am I being selfish? Will I still know them? Will I still be able to keep in touch with their needs? Will the guilt of being out at work so much eat away and negate any benefits of working? Or will it be a bumpy few months whilst we adjust and then a good balance all round? God I'm hoping it'll be the latter.

My mum worked ft when I was little and she was pretty far removed from my schooling and social life. I'm desperate to not repeat that but am scared that it's inevitable.

Sorry for the waffle. I'd love to hear some positive stories of anyone who's been in a similar place?

CMOTDibbler Thu 17-Dec-15 17:30:35

You'll adjust. Your DH will adjust. And you can be involved with your childrens schooling etc.

Get all the necessary but time consuming things done while commuting - food shop, clothes shop, present buying, card buying, bill paying, form filling so that at weekends you can concentrate on being a family.

One advantage of your dc2 being an early riser is that you can snuggle in the morning! Then you get to do bath and bed in the evening which is a lovely time to chat about their day.

CheeseGrater Thu 17-Dec-15 17:37:44

Yes the plan is to do all admin/jobs/appointment in work hours (ie commute, lunchtimes). And then really focus on the DC when I am home. Quality over quantity I guess.

And friends with slightly older DC tell me that bedtime gets a bit later so if that happens we'd have time then too.

I think it's the commute that really dampens the whole thing. Such a soulless way to spend 2.5hrs a day...

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