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Quitting a well-paid job that makes you miserable...

(7 Posts)
MtnBikeChick Mon 19-Oct-15 14:02:14

First of all, I realise how very lucky I am to be in the position of having this decision to make. I work PT with a great flexible arrangement in a very well-paid job. Although it is PT, I am still out of the house 11 hours a day for 3 days a week, and one day working from home (+ one day off). My partner works in a very senior, very well paid job in the financial services sector and whilst he is a very hands on dad when he is there, he travels a lot (almost weekly at the moment). I always loved my work but since I returned to my current position 18 months ago my heart has not been in it. I feel burnt out and bored. I don't give it 100% anymore. Nothing inspires me. I am cynical and I am easily distracted. Our children are 2 and 5 and I didn't like the little baby stage...but I really, really enjoy them now (most of the time!). I can see now my 5 year old is at school how he is going to need us more and more to help with homework, etc. I am worn out with the rushing, the scheduling, the planning, the commuting, the constant plate spinning. In a nut shell, I am considering quitting my job to go back and study for a career management/coaching qualification or an organizational psychology qualification. These areas really interest me and my current role has touched on career coaching very slightly. Long-term I could set up my own coaching business in the sector I have always worked in. I lack confidence (in a big way) and I worry that I haven't got what it takes to set up my own business....which is pathetic, I know. But right now the only reason I go to work is to do something different and be able to spend what I want. However at best it doesn't make me happy, and at worst it makes me bored and miserable (and occasionally stressed � I have suffered from stress in the past).

I am terrified of taking the leap. I am terrified of be not ever being able to get a job again. However, I know I can't keep doing this job as it is destroying my soul....has anyone else out there made a leap like this? Any advice?

PettsWoodParadise Mon 19-Oct-15 20:22:11

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and I can't advise from personal experience but didn't want your thread to go unanswered. I can say that a friend who did something similar didn't regret one jot having the time with her children, what she did find a PITA was by giving up their flexible role, when they looked to go back they were either all full time or if part-time very junior roles. However it sounds like you won't need to worry about that if you set up your own business. The other thing is you can't ever get back that time with your kids - what would you regret more, not having that time or all the other 'ifs'?

MrPorky Mon 19-Oct-15 20:31:18

I gave up a job that sounds almost identical to yours when my DC were 7 & 9 and I should have done it sooner.

It is definitely true that it gets harder to work as they get older, they need you more, rather than just "someone" IMO.

What I would say, is you need to set a limit on the time you'll do it for, or have a plan for what you'll do next, otherwise you will find it very hard to find fulfilling work when you do decide to get back to it.

usuallydormant Mon 19-Oct-15 20:48:05

I'm in a similar position and planning to hand in my notice in the new year.:/

Theoretically I should be able to freelance and I am also planning to retrain to supplement the opportunities. There are parts of the job I love but to progress I need to do more smoozing which a. I hate and b. Have no time to do as I am trying to squeeze in a demanding job on 80% and trying to get home on time to see the kids. They are 5 & 8 now and are a lot more vocal about how they want me around more.

I'm terrified I won't pick up freelance work but am too young to be checking time till I collect my pension. I was the main wage earner for the last 10 years but DH has a great new job so it takes the financial pressure off. So no helpful advice I'm afraid, but you are not alone!

MtnBikeChick Mon 19-Oct-15 22:43:41

Thank you for the replies! To be honest I am not that bothered about getting back into my profession. I don't find it interesting anymore, I literally do it for the change of scene and the money has been nice. I think it is just fear of what people think that stops me jacking it in! I am pretty resilient and I know that long term I will do something different. I have some plans about what, and an idea of where that could take me in 5 years, but at the same time I also want to stop and breathe. Both of us going at 500mph is unsustainable and frankly miserable.

MtnBikeChick Mon 19-Oct-15 22:44:32

Usuallydormant are you a lawyer by any chance?

usuallydormant Wed 21-Oct-15 19:50:54

No, no a lawyer but in research. I like the mechanics of what I do but the politics of doing it in a big org is not really me! I was also afraid of what family would think of jacking in a good pensionable job but they have been surprisingly supportive as I guess they can also see the sacrifices.

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