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Would u go back to work if u didn't have to?

(21 Posts)
Babybabyboo12 Wed 12-Aug-15 10:48:26

Would u go back to work even if u didn't have to financially? Why? Are there any mums who've tried SAHM and working at different times as the kids grew up? What's your verdict having experienced both? And what do your kids think now they've grown up?

ItsNotAsPerfectAsItSeems Wed 12-Aug-15 10:54:06

My eldest is 12. I didn't need to go back, financially. I decided to sah. In that 12yrs I've chopped and changed. I've sah, worked p/t and gone back f/t for a bit. I'm a teacher which in theory makes it easier to bob in and out but reality isn't like that and if I'm honest, it's wrecked my career. I've settled on 2days a wk from sept. My 3rd DC has mild autism though and my DH works away, often in the US so I think there's virtually zero chance of me ever going back full time even though I'd love to.

bilbodog Wed 12-Aug-15 11:10:42

Hi - I was a SAHM for about 10 years although I did dabble with voluntary work, part-time roles and had a Saturday job for a time. When I did go full time again I loved the job and thought we would be able to save all the money and have nice holidays but that has never happened as the cost of living has risen and my DH has seen his income erode over the years. We ended up having to downsize when he was out of work for a time and now have a much smaller house and outgoings. H owever I am now toying with the idea of giving up work - we have almost paid off the mortgage now and I have now realised we are never going to have loads of money any more and that our lifestyle and aspirations have changed somewhat from where we were 20 years ago! Part of me wants to 'retire' and have time to get the house straight and keep it clean, do the garden properly again, and cook lovely meals - but everyone else I know works - so I think I might feel isolated. My kids are 22 and 24 but still living at home - they would love me to be at home - they have always loved that! I don't know what I am going to do either. Depending on age a lot of people on here will say that you shouldn't be relying on your partner financially etc. Really depends on how you feel, your relationship etc. I certainly don't have the earning power now that I had earlier and if my DH decided to run off with a younger model I would be pretty stuffed - apart from 1/2 the house.......................

Nolim Wed 12-Aug-15 15:59:46

Even if i didnt have to work i would do it. Sah is not for me.

quesadillas Wed 12-Aug-15 16:13:56

Yes. Staying at home full time doesn't suit me. I'm currently at the start of my second (and last) period of maternity leave, and based on my last maternity leave, I'll be ready to go back. I only work part-time though, and in a very flexible and family friendly job, so that makes it easier. I might feel differently if I had a different job.

PicnicPie Wed 12-Aug-15 16:21:36

I'm currently at home having taken redundancy last year when expecting DC2. I've now been off for a year and wished I had my old job to go back to. I used to work two days a week after DC1 and that was really nice.

Mentally and socially I need to be working. As a result I have started volunteering one day a week. I will start to look for a new job next year when childcare options are available (mil and free 15 hours etc).

NarrativeArc Wed 12-Aug-15 16:28:45

I've never had to work ( DH earns silly money) but my short stint as a SAHM was not enjoyable.

Fortunately I've been able to work flexibly around my DC do we didn't need child care.

CoperCabana Wed 12-Aug-15 16:32:04

I went back 4 days a week a year after having my first, and then the same hours after having my second, after 10 months. We could have coped without me working but it staying at home really didn't work for me. I am an older mum so had been at work full time for 20 years when I had my first, so it felt really odd not to be working. If I got made redundant, I might take a break now for a while particularly as the kids are now at school!

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 12-Aug-15 16:33:24

No way.
I went back to work when mine were 4 months old.
I'd love to have/love to be a sahm (and possibly HE).

I don't have a 'career' though -just a job.

Iggi999 Wed 12-Aug-15 16:38:14

In the short term I might not benefit much from being at work (childcare fees) but in the long run I really will. If I won the lottery I would not have paid employment.

HeadDreamer Fri 14-Aug-15 16:42:16

It had never occur to me to even work part time. I really love working.

GoooRooo Fri 14-Aug-15 16:45:25

I would go back to work, but I would have taken longer maternity leave if I could've afforded it. I took 4 months with DS and am about to have another baby and will be taking 4 months with her too. Ideally I would've liked to have taken 6 - 9 months off.

I work full time and would prefer to do three days a week but it is what it is.

Even if I won the lottery I would work I think.

Lweji Fri 14-Aug-15 16:50:28

Unless you are independently healthy, it's not you who can afford not to work. But rather the family unit. It works for many couples, but I wouldn't want to make my living completely dependent on a partner and would have at least some part time work or further education that would allow me to earn a living should something happen to the relationship or to the main earning partner.
It's different if you lose money by working, but a few years of nursery might compensate in future earnings.

So, I'd consider very carefully what is it that you can actually afford.
Can you afford for a split up?
Can you afford for your partner to lose their earning power?
Can you afford the loss of work experience?

Skeppers Fri 14-Aug-15 16:53:48

Noooo! I wouldn't go back. I don't mind my job, don't get me wrong, but given the choice between doing it and not doing it, I know what I'd pick! Can think of much more fulfilling ways to spend my time.

But, sadly, I don't have a choice.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Fri 14-Aug-15 16:55:34

I've done both, and I love being a SAHM, so much easier than trying to sort out holiday cover every six weeks. I do some odd bits of consultancy during term time but am mostly free to enjoy the school holidays with DS, I really, really treasure the time with him.

BlueKarou Fri 14-Aug-15 16:56:29

If I didn't have to go back, then I definitely wouldn't (haven't started ML yet) I would take a full year, maybe more once the baby was born, then would look at retraining in a field I enjoy more than the one I'm currently in. After that, I would eventually start work perhaps 3 days a week as I would need to be doing something.

All a bit of a moot point; I can barely afford to take 6 months ML and make the mortgage payments, so the idea of taking twice that length off before figuring things out is just a lovely dream.

Lweji Fri 14-Aug-15 16:57:21

Ah, ah, not independently healthy, but wealthy.

mckenzie Mon 17-Aug-15 20:11:20

I've been a SAHM for 15 years and have done voluntary work, PTA stuff etc but decided this year I needed something more for me.
I've applied for two part time jobs....... And got them both!
I start next month.
The money is pants but I don't really care (it's local, it's part time, they are known to be good employers).
I'm doing it because I can and because I want to and I really do appreciate how flipping lucky I am to be in this situation.

Twinkie1 Mon 17-Aug-15 20:15:16

Went back before having DD when I didn't have to. Won't be doing it again. One tip is to never let on you don't have to work, other people really don't like it.

mckenzie Mon 17-Aug-15 20:16:09

Sorry Twinkie

Eminybob Mon 17-Aug-15 20:22:57

I'm due to back in September after 14.5 glorious months (very lucky with adding annual leave on etc) of maternity leave.

If I didn't have to go back I would absolutely not in any way shape or form. I have found that being at home with DS suits me very well, and the idea of work to me is just so insignificant in comparison. To be fair though, I didn't enjoy my job before hand either so it's a bit of a biased opinion. I'm lucky enough to only be going back part time, even with that we will struggle a bit financially, but I couldn't contemplate going back full time.

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