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Ideas for getting hubby to change job.

(4 Posts)
Lottiehrh Thu 30-Jul-15 06:43:32

He is currently a SAHD working just evenings and has worked for the same company in retail for 15 years. He says he hates it but seems to have so little confidence he won't try for another job. I persuaded him a few months ago to apply for another job that would have been much better for the whole family, nearer to home, better pay, same hours over less days. I had to write most of the application cos he felt he couldn't. He got interview and they sounded very keen and he was very positive but then they never got back to him. i managed to persuade him to call them twice but they said they were still interviewing and after that he's confidence has been completely knocked. Is there any where he can go for career advice? Help writing a cv? I don't earn a huge amount but have been trying to get another job with more money cos at the moment we are stuck in a small house we can't move out of as we can't borrow anymore for a mortgage as he earns so little. How can I get him out of this rut and give him some self esteem and get his pride and confidence back?

hurryupandgetout Fri 31-Jul-15 04:01:48

No advice on how to make a man do something they don't want to (I'd be a millionaire myself if I had the answer!) but having recruiting for roles in the past we used to find it very off putting when people phoned for feedback so be careful of encouraging him to do things like this. Often the person you speak to might not be the decision maker and people are inherently lazy so it might be hard for them to get feedback from the decision maker.

Also, if this post was written by a mum who worked PT she likely wouldn't be described as a sahm who works PT, she'd be described as a working mum. Not sure if it was your intention but your description of him, to the outside world, sounds like you're discrediting the work he does so that might be affecting his self esteem. Being a sahd is an amazing job and responsibility and if that's his role then that is an entire job in itself. Yay on him, not many men have the skills to be an amazing dad full time. If however he wants/needs to work then just because he works PT doesn't mean his job is any less worthy than a dad who works FT. Possibly just a careless choice of semantics in your post but do watch out for how you portray him to others and how you address his current responsibilities. It can also - rightly or wrongly - make some men feel like less of a man if they aren't the main breadwinner so be careful to remind him what a priceless job he does with the kids. I'm on mat leave and every day I realise a bit more clearly how frickin hard it is! Would there be the possibility of him becoming a full time sahd and you looking for a role that brings in a bit more money?

hurryupandgetout Fri 31-Jul-15 04:03:09

Sorry just read that you are already looking. It's annoying that I can't see the original post whilst typing a response on my phone!

Timetoask Fri 31-Jul-15 05:11:12

Could he Find the time to train? I think it's the only way really.

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