Help! I've taken on a job I can't manage.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

To try to get us sorted financially I've left my PT post for a FT job (teaching). It's also half the distance which was another deciding factor.

However I'm going to struggle. My DCs are terrible at settling / staying asleep and they will only have me at bedtime ATM. I know this needs sorting as a priority but really it's a nightmare. I haven't got the time or strength to deal with it (catch 22 - lack of sleep: can't stay up at night making them self settle).

My mum is also seriously ill. We expect further results this month but I won't be in a position to even hear about them during the working day as I'm desperately struggling to cope with the prospect of losing her. I will then have to get straight back to work the following day.

My mental health is suffering tbh. Until last year it was just financial worries and lack of sleep. Now the shit is so much worse than before.

So I honestly don't know how I'm going to cope with this job. One aspect of it is new to me, and a level. I have also been given a tough group with a child I know to be the most challenging due to work I did last year.

To my shame my DM knows how much I'm struggling. I have a very limited support network. I don't know what to do to solve it. Perhaps I should talk to the head about resigning in December (earliest possible). I don't want to end up costing the school a fortune in sick pay. I can't begin to look for something less pressured yet because I'm simply not free to start until January, meaning I couldn't have the security of leaving with another job in place. This would be a massive financial risk for us and frankly where I live it would be unlikely to pay off.

I'm so trapped

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Do you have a DP? What do they say about it?

[CharlesRyder]

Have you actually started? Your OP reads a bit like start of term collywobbles which you KNOW every teacher has every September whatever job they are going back to, old or new. You may just need to give it a chance and find a routine?

On the other hand, I went back full time too early and didn't cope. I did end up briefly signed off at the end of the first term FT. I talked honestly to my Head and went back to PT. Would this be an option?

[LapsedTwentysomething]

I doubt they would allow me to go PT tbh. The head is very much an ambitious woman who thinks everyone else is too, but who what the support of a SAHP at this point in her career.

Dp does his share but his salary is much lower than mine and wouldn't go anywhere near covering our essential outgoings.

[DrownedGirl]

What are your childcare arrangements? How old are your children? I also work in a pressurised school environment and recently went back ft with a long commute, so I sympathise.

Happy to chat if I can provide any support or ideas.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

Childcare doesn't really involve me except for one nursery pick up. Apart from that it's DH doing drop offs at breakfast club and nursery, mil looking after DS (22mo) and a CM picking DD (4) up from school.

Literally everything is scheduled. Unfortunately the DCs' bedtime isn't going according to plan meaning there's no evening work time. I have to get to bed soon after 10 as sleep is so disrupted by them.

[DrownedGirl]

Could dp deal with them at night?

[Supermum222]

Hi,

You poor thing. Are you back at school next week?
Your children are at the age where both should be going to bed at a reasonable hour and staying there. Are they in the same room? What is causing them to wake up? You really need to get their sleeping patterns sorted as a priority. Have you spoken to the health visitor or had a look on any sleep boards on here?
Are you secondary or primary?
It isn't fair on the children that you are teaching either.
Sorry to hear about your mum. You have a lot to deal with at the moment and a full time teaching post will be hard work anyway.
Do you have a close friend or someone who could stay with the children one night or so? Perhaps the children would settle down if they knew you weren't there...and get into a good habit.
I really hope you don't lose your career over this but do nip the sleep issues in the bud.

[cansu]

I would give it a go before you start planning your exit. I am in a similar position, new job full Tim rather than part time, longer travelling, children with sen and new childcare. I am very apprehensive too, but am going to give it a go. I think that's all you can do. If you can afford it maybe get so e housework help by getting a cleaner?

[LapsedTwentysomething]

I am at work today and still feeling overwhelmed. I know it's early days but I think I might leave teaching. I have to work four months so can save a contingency fund to cover us while I look for work. I fancy working in an office environment, somewhere where I don't have to take work home.

[Beastofburden]

Sounds as if there could be a middle way. If you had four days a week active teaching you could have day 5 to do your prep and marking and so forth, and then when the kids are older, go back up to 5 days a week.

I would talk to the head teacher and say you would like 12 months p/t to be reviewed at the end of that, partly as you want to be able to be ultra-reliable but your DM's health means you need to plan a bit of flexibility. You are assuming she will say no, but that might be exhaustion talking. If she is ambitious, she will wnt to keep good teaching staff, and that means embracing PT, whatever she may feel about it herself.

realistically, if you start an entirely new career in an office, you will still take work home at night and there will be a long phase of investment while you learn your new job. It wont be as easy as all that.

[OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus]

I'd look at sleep training thr children. Short term pain but long term gain. Whether you stay in this role or not your quality of life will be so much better with enough sleep.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

Honestly it left me cold. Data, assessment, tedious chunked schemes of work to enable controlled assessment by numbers ...

I hated it.

[awsomer]

I'm in a really similar situation to you Lapsed. I don't know what to do about it though! Sorry I can't be more helpful but I do wish you lots luck and good wishes.