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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work

Back to work tomorrow

19 replies

superbabysmummy · 04/06/2013 21:18

& I am GUTTED! 8 months off with DD & I've loved every second ... I am guilt ridden having to leave her & have 1001 worries about her, the job, keeping on top of the house. I am going to miss her gorgeous smiley face so much and she'll be spending more time with the childminder than me... Any tips on how to cope please? (Have to return to work for financial reasons, no other choice)...

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Rangirl · 04/06/2013 21:59

If you have to go back then you just have to make the best of it Try not to beat yourself up It will be fine Honestly

Firsttimemummy33 · 05/06/2013 07:29

Good luck!

SanneSannes · 05/06/2013 13:49

It will get easier over time. I was devestated when I had to return back to work after 8 months of leave with DC1 and could not imagine not seeing him 24/7, but not having the option to stay at home I tried to make the best of it, am even more career driven then before (i might as well go for it if I'm there anyway) but also work more efficiently as every minute I can go home earlier and possibly see my children counts! Having said that, i'm due to go back end of June after having had DC2 and I'm also dreadin it. I Keep on telling myself that it will be fine, there are weekends snd holidays, we will all get used to it and the kids will be fine...Like you I do not have the choice to stay at home, so I try to just get on with it. All the best of luck!

superbabysmummy · 05/06/2013 20:08

Thank you ladies! Please tell me it gets worse before it gets better? Today was awful!

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NoWayPedro · 05/06/2013 22:52

Awful :(. I'm going back in 4 weeks and went to a settling in session at nursery today so she can start PT for a few weeks first.

Before mat leave I was all "she'll go to nursery and everyone tells me how they love it" and now it comes to it I feel sick to my stomach with guilt. The killer is I don't need to go back (not a stealth boast) but I love my job but can't go PT. I feel like a shit. I feel I haven't savoured every moment and have on a bad day (not v often) wished I was at work as its easier.

Really not sure how I'll manage so we can hold hands together :(

superbabysmummy · 06/06/2013 07:12

NoWayPedro, that's exactly the same as me.... I was going back FT at 6 months but pushed it as far as my bank account (credit card!) would let me, got another 2 months, before I went on maternity leave I was adamant 6 months would be plenty, DD would be fine, nursery/childminder would be good for her developmentally & that was long enough for me to be away from work...

No one however can prepare you for the effect of motherhood though and now I feel she is still too young, very jealous of people who have the option to go back PT, a couple of days at work would be great but FT, 24/7 with DD to 2 & 1/2 hours a day...

Yesterday too was particularly bad, I had nothing to do all day, handovers are all arranged for next week so all I could think was I am here with nothing to do, what a waste of precious DD time!

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Coristarz · 06/06/2013 15:28

I totally see how you feel. I'm going back to work on Monday; my little baby will be 18 weeks! :( He will be going to nursery 4 days a week; I'm allowed to do compressed over 4 days and stay1 day at home.
We've been going to nursery every day this week for his settling sessions, and he also got a cold. So it has been awful! Lots of crying, I hate myself.
I feel horrible - I feel guilty, I am scared he will hate me for leaving him (irrational!), I'm scared he's too small... But we have no choice. I can't be a SAHM because financially we both have to work and have no family nearby to help us with childcare.
I'm just hoping things will get easier with time... The nursery staff are lovely. How did it go for you??

NoWayPedro · 06/06/2013 17:00

If it makes you feel any better Cori the nursery staff said its actually easier for younger babies. After 8 mo apparently takes a little longer to settle.

I heard DD screaming for 10 mins today :(. Angry cry with no tears so think I'm in for a long week next week.

Lots of chocolate for us ladies :). They'll be alright, better than alright - they'll love it once settled :).

snakeinthebrantub · 06/06/2013 17:05

Hello, I've not posted before but have lurked for a while. I am going back to work in August, ds will be 7 months then, and I can't even think about it without crying. Have to go full time as finances don't allow for part time! Please someone tell me it won't be as bad as I am thinking?

HappyJoyful · 06/06/2013 17:12

I was going to echo what NoWay says about being easier to settle younger they are..

I left DD with a childminder at a similar age to your's, she's now 2.4yr's old and has an amazing relationship with her and all the other kids, it's fantastic and I have to say it makes life easy that she's so happy.

For those not going back for a few months - do try not to let the last few months / weeks or even days be tinged with guilt and angst of having to go back. Honestly, honestly you will soon settle into a little routine and it will be fine.

The only tip I really have is if possible, I would get your someone else to do the drop off I'm not sure if it's a cop out, however, I know I found it easier that DH did it

Try too to make sure you are as relaxed and chilled out about it as you can be as I'm sure it doesn't help according to my CM if the little ones see Mummy all sad and lost.

Finally, it goes without saying that you will feel like a duck out of water and totally lost for a few weeks, however, work at it and just go slowly and accept that there may have been changes since you've been off and things might be different and you will feel left out or zoned out or just totally in a different world, but slowly but surely am sure you'll find your feet and so will the babes.

HappyJoyful · 06/06/2013 17:15

Don't feel guilty if you haven't got to go back or anything - goodness, there are many, many women out there that go back out of choice!

Wishiwasanheiress · 06/06/2013 20:49

I have none of anything.

Just a hug and best wishes.

Good luck.

Xxxxx

NoWayPedro · 06/06/2013 21:03

That's helpful happy; seems like sound advice that i need! I'm pleased your LO is happily settled and all this a distant memory for you both :)

NoWayPedro · 06/06/2013 21:04

How did it go superbaby?

tolstoycat · 06/06/2013 21:12

My DS is now 13 yo but I can clearly remember having to go back to work when he was 14 weeks - nothing anyone says can make it easy, but we both coped! and one of my best memories is that every night, as I left the office and did the commute home, I had those lovely "looking forward to seeing him" feelings, as strong and enjoyable as when you were early in your dating. Meant I never took a minute with him for granted.

KittieCat · 06/06/2013 23:19

I hated going back to work and leaving DS. Hope things have improved for you.

I posted on MN when i was due to go back and a wise MN'er said that coming home at the end of the day is like getting the best Christmas/birthday present rolled into one... Every day! It's true.

superbabysmummy · 07/06/2013 19:47

Apologies for slow reply! Thanks for all your comments and positivity Still feeling rubbish but it's Friday and I am putting behind me so I don't waste a precious second with DD this weekend worrying about it... Would hate for my mood to run off on her! Instead I am taking it out on DH

Feel so bad & to make things worse tonight when I picked her up from the childminder she held her arms out for her & cried when I put her in the car (sob!). Obviously very happy he likes the childminder but as irrational as everyone keeps telling me I am, I don't want her to forget who I am

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superbabysmummy · 07/06/2013 19:48

Lots of typos damn iPhone!

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HappyJoyful · 13/06/2013 11:18

Don't worry superbabysmummy, loads of kids and toddlers cry when they see their parents even if they have been perfectly happy all day!
My niece is 2 and a half and I witness it regularly, she'll be running round with my dd having a wail of a time, laughing, giggling etc and a the minute the key goes in the door and either parent walks in she'll burst into tears for no reason whatsoever! two seconds later she's as happy as larry again.
Hope it's all going well..

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