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Back to work after 12 years. Dd2 crying her eyes out every night.

(63 Posts)
Verycold Mon 27-May-13 22:15:13

I am starting in September. She will be 10 but she is soooo upset at me not taking her to school anymore, not picking her up. It kills me! Feel like throwing in the towel already!

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 08:12:40

Thanks Snake, hope it will be the same for us, but without me having to go on AD's

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 08:14:02

Random, dd is a worrier by nature so that definitely plays a part!

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 08:14:48

Random, dd is a worrier by nature so that definitely plays a part!

belatedmaybe Wed 31-Jul-13 08:44:20

Maybe it is time for some tough love. Your dd is a worrier and every time you comfort and reassure you are reinforcing that there is something to worry about! After this amount of time I really think you need to be taking a harder line. "No, there is nothing to worry about so no more tears" "we have already discussed how we will handle x so stop worrying now" "no mummy is proud to get this opportunity and worked hard for it, I have been here every step of the way for you and being proud of you, now is your turn to be proud of me"

It is awful when are dc are upset but sometimes we allow our own guilt to make us feed it not deal with it. You are not abandoning her you are taking a positive step and, at 10yo, your dd will have to accept it.

alimac87 Wed 31-Jul-13 09:57:14

Good luck. I am also going back to work after 12 years of freelancing/being at home: DD (12) wept when I told her. But like you I'm so pleased to have the opportunity. Going to be interesting the first few months.confused

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 20:12:52

Good luck to you, too!

LizzieVereker Wed 31-Jul-13 20:36:25

Well done for getting back into the workplace thanks, no mean feat at the moment. Plus you're setting a great example to your daughters, try not to worry too much.

I think change of any kind at your daughter's age is difficult for children to manage, especially if she's a bit of a worrier. She'll get used to the idea, as others have said she'll soon want to go to Secondary or her own anyway. I'm a teacher, and I see plenty of my children, it can be done. Good luck!

Ps if by any chance you teach Secondary English I'm happy to send you lots of lessons/ PowerPoints to ease your planning? Apologies if you've already said and I've missed it.

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 20:40:12

Lizzie that's so kind of you thank you! I'm MFL unfortunately. Very reassuring that you say you see plenty of your children, recent threads about teaching on here have made me very worried!

LizzieVereker Wed 31-Jul-13 20:46:33

BTW I completely agree with handling it in the way Belated suggested, lots of "You'll soon see, there's nothing to worry about".

Perhaps DD1 could be primed/ bribed to suggest that they remember to wish you luck and ask how your first day went, and then you can praise them for being brave and supportive.

LizzieVereker Wed 31-Jul-13 20:57:31

I do see them, I try to be home by 5.30 every day, so we spend the whole evening together, and I do my school work when they're in bed. I try to squeeze every minute out of my non contact time so that I don't have too much to do at weekends, generally I need to do a half day. The workload where I work is notorious, so if I can do it it's doable IYSWIM.

Obviously there's the odd Parent's Evening when I don't see them at all, but I find that they're fine as long as they know in advance, and my DH makes a big deal of it being a Dad's night, they watch a DVD and eat gross things!

I point blank refuse to do any summer schools etc, I am adamant about that, and I find there are usually plenty of younger colleagues wanting to staff them to earn a bit extra.

The way I see it, I'm around a lot more than some of my friends who work in London and don't get home till bedtime and need to find holiday childcare.

Verycold Wed 31-Jul-13 21:54:21

Are you full time Lizzie?

Verycold Sat 03-Aug-13 22:25:55

More tears but I told her how it is and will have to keep doing that. Now ds not happy about the childcare I've arranged for one afternoon a week! confused

Talkinpeace Tue 06-Aug-13 22:43:31

"worrying about no longer walking to school together"
I take it she is currently still at primary
because come year 7 she would not be seen dead "walking to school with mummy"

she is afraid of change and being utterly out of order blackmail on you

personally I'd stop talking to them about it till the start of term as you are just inviting them to chew over unknown unknowns that they can do nothing about
so they are extrapolating all sorts of odd ideas that will not come to fruition

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